If all the members of ABCtales...

Hox, Stormy, Tom... didnt you hear the call for elders?

I think we should eat all those members with edible names... Bad luck for Funky Seagull, Stormy Petrel, Spaghetti Si, ivoryfishbone, feymouse, Justyn Thyme (for flavouring) possibly Eddie Gibbons and Tom 'Colonel' Saunders .

ari is the path to joy.....ari is the path to joy....ari is the path to joy.....

as a feminist, i would push for female elders of the tribe. can anybody think of three prominent females on the site who would make good elders? i know i can.

Yes.. we could organise our very own tribal football competion (a coconut husk would do).. call it the Island Cup or somesuch.. get the ladies to knit little colourful flags for us to wave around while we chant tribal son... *finds myself in cooking pot before sentence quite over*

*sighs wearily* OK icy, you can be in charge of maintenance of the vacuum cleaner and dishwasher. No Liana, I mean stuff you can EAT not er......... And I thought that 'Bangor' bit was a reference to your 'banging' prowess!

*coughs*

*Thinks" How would he look as no leg spider?

*applies tea tree anti wrinkle cream*

I will be the tame hermit. Offerings of food and alcohol to be left by the big tree in the clearing. I will say prayers to the great womanly triumvirate for a small remuneration.

i think it should be the special task of the womanly trimvirate to service your hermit needs, Tom. perhaps a rota could be drawn up.

Oh boy!

I'll end up doing the cooking because I always do - but then again Steve G. is a mean hand with the wooden spoon as well so I guess that means we'll do it together, just for a change. Would the hunter gatherers stand on one side and the agriculturalists stand on the other. Now go and get some stuff for us cooks to pop in the pot. pip pip

i understand that one of the female trimvirate has been specially growing her hair so that, once she has annointed them, she may dry your sacred feet with it.

actually i am going to build a boat and escape the island, anyone want to join me?

*glares*

As the engineer, seems to me that we need to build a temple for the sacred three before we do anything else. But lets get the really important stuff done first, we need to get the still going so we can have a few drinks to celebrate the founding of our new tribe. Oh, and one other thing, one of the triumvirate has been chosen for a special task. I'll say more later. iceman

I will volunteer as sports reporter for the Island Echo. I will need papyrus, stylii, and a large expense account.

liana could be repunzel...

Paul Morgan (geordietaf) - why are you trying to unite poeple in hatred - much more fun to unite then in chasing BEDS and tying them down - beside being more entertaining for us sitting and watching ( I mean reading - could that be translated to breeding in dyslexic mmmm - this puts in ideas of ... the breading consquences of being stuck on a desert island with ... glad I'm just reading ) Oh no - just had nasty though of Daughter tieing BEDS down - poor lad - consequences unmentional thank you Iceman back to commentry - please (I'm a very demanding person) Now they've captured the BEDS what next ? Ari - I'm going to have a hell of a time not giggling when I next talk to BEDS - I'll possible have nightmares to night about it all

Just heard in my prayers at the far end of the Island: "Followers of the great womanly triumvirate must forever refrain from the evil sport of footie. It rots people's brains and turns them into bellowing hogs with one voice. Know and beware!"

Oh no...I've just noticed on the register of Island Inhabitants that there is someone called Jade on the island. Aaaaaaaaaaaaaa

I'll help to grow all the herbs.. and brew the wine and beer. Chant can be the musician, and sing us songs around the campfire with his guitar. Andrew Pack needs to be taken to the high priestess Ari and under the instruction of Martin T be shown the virtues of vegetarianism. To stop him from eating me. Tony Cook is the cook. Steven Gardiner can be the cook also. Liana, Fish, Andrea, Mark Brown and Donignacio can help me on garden detail. (don't worry is dead cushy work.) Tom Saunders can be the wise hermit, who people can go to for advice and direction, after leaving an offering of food and wine by the entrance to his cave; and who occasionally honours us some nights with stories by the campfire. Justyn Thyme can carve our arrows for hunting. Muzz can be the chief hunter. Stormy can help brew the wine and beer. Iceman and Ely can help build our shelters. Karl Wiggins can be our paramedic and do the first aid.

I think I have found my role on this island ... we will need to set up a brewery and a distillery. ... and you wouldn't find enough meat on me to make it worth the bother of cooking me on a spit.

Wouldn't that need us to build some kind of fortress with a tower? Couldnt we just settle for a ladder up a coconut tree? ***

Nah, think I'll stay, I couldn't face the prospect of you singing at me for weeks on end!

MISSISSIPPI !!!!!!!!!! Gets out drum set - thinks of Missis and beats hell out of them - mind you I have the most excellent stress game much more fun but only for women as it brings tears to male eyes - starts to Whack away !!!!!

Pulls up chair and enjoys watching (reading) from the safe side of TV (computer)- with bottle of wine, packet of jelly babies and other goodies (bowl of angel delight and whipped cream) whilst the new Telly docu soap "Abc desert Islanders" unfolds - with the main cast doing all the hard work I can sit here and relax - nice being on the outside and not having to worry about stinging bugs - or snakes or or or tidal waves - come on whose doing the commentry on this thing or has the sound gone ! Now we've got the community - we need the story please !

this island will be ruled by women ...

...in which case carving arrows sounds like a very nice job....

this island will be ruled by women... who serve one man... Tom Saunders is that man... and he's as randy as an old goat.

Good grief! Is he really, Chant? How'd you know? I'll just potter around in the garden/veggie patch killing snails and ignoring people, if you don't mind.

*packs razor*

19.47 pm After a busy day breaking in the new beds, Liana and Iceman went for a ride on the four posters. Reaching the far side of the island and having quickly turned down the sheets, they spent a while looking for coconuts near the perimeter fence of the rich side of the island. "Isn't that Jade over there," Liana asked. Iceman finished plumping the pillows and looked up. "Is she crying inconsolably and threatening to leave?" Ari suddenly canters up on a piebald camp bed. "You have to come quickly, someones discovered a hole in the fence and Missi is planning a raid. Oh, and the alien bush has captured Stormy and is holding them hostage...."

oops, sorry funky, didn't mean to muscle in on the brewing business, we must have been writing at the same time.

Of course the time will come on this island for the services of an undertaker.......

*picks up repunzel's hair...at the end of a long line of hair picker uppers*

'Twas only a jest Maggie! But I have to say I am intrigued by your tear inducing game. Please elucidate my dear.

I am but a vessel for the great womanly triumvirate. Praise be. I'm more of an old labrador than a goat. Anyway, isn't old and randy an oxymoron? Give me my slippers and a cup of hot chocolate any day. Packs Laura Ashely dress, cardigan and Best Of Barry Manilow for Liana. I am here only to serve. Praise be.

question did these BEDS come from BEDfordshire? oh it's getting exciting Stormy captured and held for ransom - nearly put hansome - phew more more more - yes yes yes *quietly thinks I have the strong desire to shoot Jade with my Aqua booster pistol - the one that squirts huge quantities of water - I use it to get rid of the cats when they start to dig up my garden and leave unwanted messages*

*muffled cough* I still appear to kidnapped *getff thmf feckmff offmeff youbastardsmfff nof nof plf donf cutoefff my earsthfmfmf*

Andrea why don't you come and join me having a coffee - we can sit on the - this here hammock I've found - that's if I can get into it with turning upside down or worse still finding myself on the floor - Oh hell - better still pull up a pew and sit with me - we're not ignoring people that way just taking time out and watching them at play- by the way I'm having a spot of trouble with black fly any suggestions?

Has anyone brought a corkscrew?

needing the services of an undertaker ... i should say so ... it will only be a short while before we start killing one another ...

With a corkscrew?

(For Pioden 12.40 am Liana, Iceman, Ari and Missi have been playing cards for four hours. On the rich side of the island Tom and Tony Cook have finally compiled the shopping list of essential luxuries to be dropped in by helicopter the following morning. Approximately twenty five crates of the finest wine have mysteriously disappeared into Shelter Two on the poor side. Liana is called to the diary tree.) *** A corkscrew? I guess we now have two hundred cans of beans too and no can opener.... iceman

Oh so you've hear about my terrible drum playing Missis - has a another Whack - sorry the Whacking game is purely for frustrated annoyed and stressed women - whack - the last male who saw it is still recovering from the shock - he having treatment for his 'crossed ' eyed problem at this very moment - Whack I have nine holes and a 'whacker' supposed to be a hammer but its a ***** and every now and then a ***** appears from one of the holes and I Whack it one - simple thing for a simple mind I know but - whack - I'll get bored with it before long - whack - its a pretty boring game - whack Stormy though you where enjoying being kidnapped ! whack - whack - whack - you know this is getting rid of all those built in tensions - whack - just wish I could whack a bit harder - why do people give me these stupid games - you'd think I had nothing better to do ! DO NOT ANSWER THAT whack

wonder if Fish and Liana would like a copy - whack

Can I be the island gigolo?

Day 22 7.30am Missi has finished building the log cabin and has turned part of into a bar. Liana and Iceman have found Stormy at last, hiding in another tree, almost incoherent. The alien bush has been chopped down and made into a comfy chair. Ari still goes for regular gallops along the shore on the piebald camp bed, sometimes accompanied by Iceman on a bay put-you-up and Liana who has a white divan for some reason. Stormy has calmed down by now, and the group are airing the beds by a lake, because the island is quite large of course. "Where's my bed?" asks Stormy, flicking grass about idly. "It escaped," Liana said. "Marty is tracking it at present on the Z Bed." "Any news?" "Well, we last heard he had it holed up by the mountain pass between the rich and poor sides of the island." Iceman pours himself a coffee from the pot on the fire while Ari cooks the bacon. "Can't you just ride something else?" Iceman said. Stormy looked at his fingernails for a while. "No." he said. "I'm fond of my own bed. It's not the same with anything else." Liana poked the fire with a stick.