Proposition for a Challenge

Now that the god awful multi-message virus is finally fixed, I would like to extend a temporary service of my critique abilities. However this critique will be a bit different on an abstract level of advice and ideas. This is completely free of cost. In need of a challenge to prepare for my creative writing workshop and have to get my brain ticking right. Please post your work below and thank you all for participating writing friends.

Preview:

1. Atmosphere: The general setting and feel of the prose presented.

2. Impression: How I am affected by the story/poem/prose and what I find to be the most memorable or impressive.

3. Ideas or Notes: My own non-personal thoughts on how to improve or refine your work. Grammer sometimes included if need be.

Rules

1. Give and Take: You are more than obliged to take what is best and leave the rest. Nothing personal or considered law mes braves.
2. Have Fun, Make it Fun: This is just a test of my critiquing abilities and just for the hell of it. I am note Simon Cowell and you are not Chef Ramsey [unless its for constructive purposes or I accidently offend you]. Smile and be kind.