Frustration

one of my bits contained the word 'prickett' poobumwilly police immediately leapt into action.

do you not think it may have been your bits they were nervous of?

I wonder if 'bits' is on the list?

Can you get filters fitted for cheeky toddlers? I'm sick of being called BIGBOT in public.

gaffer tape should do the trick wolfie ...

Either that or a good, old-fashioned garrotte

To go back to the original post for a moment. I say you should count yourself lucky if you get in at No. 25. I wrote a story late last week; it completely disappeared and has now reappeared like a damp fart at No 193. Oh well (mock cheerful voice) Climb every mountain La la la la. Poobumwillyandanextrapooforluck!

i have managed a totally poobumwilly free story!!!! *dances joyfully round*

So no old lady with a POOdle, looking through her wedding alBUM whilst watching Free WILLY on TV then?

ah no .. not in this one ... but damnit ... that is a grand idea wolfie ... i think Womans Weekly might buy it ...

They do pay well. Damn damn I have given myself away.

lindy i think it's your titles... " cocaine smuggling cuban pimps from hell " was bound to attract attention..as was " matthew kelly is a love god " and especially " the ratification of european currency convergence as a prime example of late industrial postmodern pluralist nano-second culture paranoid representationalism using the simulacrum of matthew kelly's beard " good luck. next time stick to " my kitten is psychic " type stories... love you all martin xx

'TITles', Steven (Martin)?

you mis-typed a W as a T and missed an S Andrea.

Sory, mi mistaake, wil edi beter nex tim

I am just beginning to realise the same thing Lindy. I think that initially it goes through a 'filter' (presumably for anything offensive) and then it has to go to an editor. There is such a huge volume of work that I guess there might be a little bit of a backlog. Don't worry, I've got one on hold too.....

i agree lindy .. it is frustrating ... it seems to me that any story above a U rating gets looked at before it is posted and it can be a couple of days ... this is understandable but i think the most frustrating thing is that when it DOES appear it comes in the last entered according to the time you posted it rather than when it arrived on the site ... this means it can be way down the listing and be missed by those of us who keep an eye on the last 10 entered ... i know that i have missed a couple of stories from my favourite fellow prosers because of this system ... i wonder if the editors might be able to think about changing it so it gets timed for when it appears rather than when it was submitted??? as prose seems to be read less that poetry to me this is a factor which might not be helping us dedicated prose writers ...

Thanks for the clarification Fish. I have submitted my first story (with some trepidation as I have only attempted poetry previously) and I wondered what was happening with it.

as someone who wrote nothing but prose until recently I can confirm that most stuff goes thru the filters even, sometimes, the 'u' certs if they are randomly selected. U certs are more likely to be 'randomly' chosen if you post late at night. It IS frustrating but you can't blame ABC for being careful. I would agree with ivory on both points she raised. Sometimes a story or poem can enter the site at no. 25. never to be read. again! Perhaps abc could change this?

Dear All, The reason some stuff ends up on the spike is because of the filter system we use. This is based on what we call the 'poo bum willy' list here in the office - a list of every vile and offensive word we could think of. The filter picks up any piece of work that contains any of these words - even if they are contained in another word - for example, bumptious! This system is devised to prevent anything racist, obscene or otherwise illegal getting on the site. As for the time thing I do not believe this can be changed without totally re-writing the code that underscores the site. I will talk to the techies but I don't think there's much we can do about it - sorry about that! Cheers, Tony, the Chief Exec.

Tony - what happened to the front page this morning? Were they testing a new design or something?

What a pain in the bumptious! Was wondering what had happened to one of my tales...thanks for clarifying Fish.

We had a problem with the front page this morning that has something to do with our database. We've sorted it now. Thanks, Diana

i have activated the language filter (not unusual for me admittedly) ... but with a story of delightful innocence ... could you please tell me if the words "naked" and "knob" are on the poobumwilly list??? thank you ...

I too have activated a language filter having recently received an email from the editors of this site stating my piece had been cherry picked.