Bloke Wanted ...

... AND a sleeze monitor ;o)

Sleaze. tsk tsk

:-o)

Is she a goer?

Oooooh! Suits you, sir! *nudge nudge wink wink*

From (don't go if you hate popups)... Bilbo walks up to Aragorn, who is seen looking through the curtains at Arwen. The elves within the hall are celebrating their guest’s recovery. Bilbo: [To Aragorn] ‘Evening, squire! Aragorn: [stiffly] Good evening, Bilbo. Bilbo: Ah, the lady Arwen… is she uh… is she a goer, eh? Know whatamean, know whatamean, nudge nudge, know whatamean, say no more? Aragorn: Bilbo, what are you talking about? Bilbo: Your uh, your elf-friend, does she, go eh? Does she go? Aragorn: [flustered] Well, she sometimes ‘goes’, yes. Bilbo: Aaah bet she does, I bet she does, say no more, know whatamean, nudge nudge? Aragorn: [confused] I’m afraid I don’t quite follow you… Bilbo: Follow me. Follow me, that’s good! A nod’s as good as a wink to a blind bat! Aragorn: Bilbo, my dear hobbit, I think you may have gone insane. Bilbo: Is uh, your elf-friend, is she a sport, ay? Aragorn: Um, she likes sport, yes. Bilbo: I bet she does, I bet she does! Aragorn: As a matter of fact she’s very fond of croquet. Bilbo: Oo is’t? Likes games eh? Knew she would. She’s been around a bit, eh? She’s been around? Aragorn: Yes she has travelled, she’s from Lórien. Bilbo: SAY NO MORE!! Lórien, saynomore saynomore saynomore squire! Aragorn: I wasn’t going to! Bilbo: Oh, [leeringly] Still, mooooooh, ay? Mwoohohohohoo, ay? Hohohohohohoho, ay? Aragorn: Look, are you insinuating something? Bilbo: Oh no, no, no, no … yes Aragorn: Well? Bilbo: Well, you’re a man of the world, Dúnedain. Aragorn: yes… Bilbo: I mean, you’ve been around a bit, you know, like, you’ve uh… You’ve done ‘it’… Aragorn: What do you mean? Bilbo: Well, I mean like, you’ve SLEPT, with a lady… Aragorn: Yes… Bilbo: What’s it like?

*crickets chirping in deepest darkest corner of living room*

*Bites fingers in anticipation *

Although I have to say that Viggo Mortenson was a blinding moment of inspiration, being cast as Aragorn. Not who I would've picked initially, but he was puurrrrrrfect.

Actually, Smiley, I laughed like hell at your, ah, joke. *sniggers again* It was the 'mwoohohohoo' that got to me finally.

I though ALL the cast were great except for Hugo Weaving as Elrond - I don't know why but I couldn't understand why he got the part - perhaps it was his fine performance in The Matrix?

Yes, he was an odd choice for Elrond. Not sure -who- exactly I would have picked, but not Hugo. I kept envisioning Elrond in RayBans...

As you are obviousl aware, Ag, it's almost a word for word take of the Monty Python sketch but with a slight adaption to make it more 'current'...

Yes, I gathered that. The Pythons dressed as hobbits and warriors was too much to bear...

I think the one thing in Hugo's favour is, that like Elrond, he doesn't seem to age.

Maybe that's why he was picked. I think Jason Isaacs would've been good as Elrond. There is a remoteness about Elrond that JI would have done nicely...

We're a line out of sync, Ag. It's what happens with Sadge's with crabs. I can see that I'm going to suffer for that line so I'll make it clear that I meant Cancerians :o)

???

I meant being out of sync...

I thought you were referring to Monty Python sketches... *scratches head*

I think his haircut is more than 35 years old.

We've got David and Mustafa on offer - and, at a stretch, the extraordinary Michael Oklahoma (but he does have a tendency to make cat noises). Mark's spoken for - and you are dead right Shirt, Hox and I are all far too old and certainly not 'free'. But I can assure you that David and Mus are lovely boys, clean smelling, a tad shy and cheap at the price....

I'm not free either, but I am reasonable. *badda boom*

oooh good show pimpin cook ... send pics ...

what's all this balls doing on my thread???

Patrick is 35, drives an Alfa Romeo 156 and used to be a chef and is therefore an excellent chef. He is exactly 6ft tall, blue eyes, ginger beard (oh no sorry he shaved that off)

Don't feel too aggrieved dear, it's everywhere.

oh and he always puts the loo seat down and does all the laundry. His shirt ironing skills are A1!

GET A ROOM!

It's not cricket is it?

This is all very sad.

no ... so give us a break smiley and be a dear ...confine your flirtathon to one thread ...

we know...

Don't think i have flirted on this thread, Fish.

You know what David looks like ... wan, floppy haired etc...

Mus says he wants her picture first before he sends his. (but we do have the most magnificently camp pics of him doing his national service with the Turkish Army!)

now then ... a welcome return to the plot .... rough and well read .... i am seeing this as a bit indiana jonesish?

oh THAT david ... i thought you had another one up your sleeve ... send camp pics of mus ... if nothing will be a good laugh anyway ... is patrick over his broken heart having lost his love to a nunnery? ... will he promise not to grow the beard again?

I'll ask about the beard. His broken heart is mending!

send patricks photo and sales blurb jude ... and RD is isnt sad ... what better way to pair up than to get someone tried and tested?

Unlike Hox, I'm pleased to say that my roof is still perfectly thatched. The central heating's fine, or it was the last time it was called upon. But you don't want to go down into my cellar, you really don't ...

not a very good one but you should get the idea!

oh he looks very nice jude ... what does he do?

He is an events and banqueting manager in central government. But unlike most folk in catering he works very nice 9-5 hours. He has excellent manners and is from fine Irish stock.

manners are SO important ...

:-0)

"i need london bloke ... 35 ish ... successful ... confident" Isn't that, like, the entire male population of London in their own imaginations?

hmmm ... good point ...

Yep - it's that damned 'ish' loophole. [%sig%]

Patrick is exactly 35 (until September). I think him owning a pretty nice flat on the River Lea which he refurbished into a lovely modern pad (by his own practical hand) And the nice car.... Well it is an "ish" but not a large one like if Tony Cook said he has a full head of hair-ish