Phoenix: Enzo

och, you write that better than I ever could. well done. span

Many thanks for flagging this up Soraia. I'm not convinced it couldn't have done with more work, but due to a situation, I will be ithout a laptop after tomorrow, so no writing for a while. I wanted to get this on while I still could. Hopefully, they'll be another one tomorrow...and then, well, that's it! Span - nonsense, but thank you. Jasper - Your praise is...well....full-on....but graciously and gratefully received. Stephen King got me into reading and this was most definately written with him in mind...good spot, thanks!

I agree wholeheartedly with the others on this Enzo, it really is excellent...please hurry and get a new laptop, your short stories always make me smile and as I start back at Uni tomorrow my mood will need lifting on a regular basis!

Yeah, Enzo I loved this too, the writing was great as ever. But the ending didn't work for me, sorry, because it avoids asking any moral questions - it's almost like a parlour game puzzle you've put together. I'm not saying it's not great because it is but.... You know what does it mean that Phoenix has found god?

Loved it.

Camus/Drew/Lou - Many thanks. Drew, I know what your saying but moralising in my writing has never really been my thing. To be honest, it's more like I don't care about the moral issues than I avoid them. The whole thing with God all the way through is just a little pointer to the fact he is dead, and also that he's crazy if he believes that after the life he's lived he would die and go to heaven. BTW - I haven't commented much on them, but please please keep the iTunes coming, I love them all. Good luck with Uni, Camus! Ben

I'm halfway through another short story, and I hoped to get it on here today, but I didn't finish it last night. The part about the laptop is true. I won't have a laptop after today so no writing until I can sort something new out. C'est la vie. Ben

Ben, For a start you can write with a pen and paper. I didn't mean moralising as such. But rather that your story should be about something, in my opinion. My stories are silly, but I think, oh this one is about friendship, or death, or grief, disability and so on. Your characters fit together like a nice game of twister where all the limbs are neatly arranged, but it would be nice if the characters had kissed at the end, or something. I guess this is why I don't like most thillers, mystery novels. The endings are always pretty weightless and I feel like I've wasted my time. It's a pretty conservative way of looking at life believing that everything can be nicely tied up. Ok for tired people I guess. * Thanks for the comments on itunes btw. It's funny how things have developed from a few xxs on my mobile.

Oh and the above made it sound like I didn't like your story, when I really really did. I bought my laptop 2nd hand for £250 so I'm sure you can pick one up somewhere pretty cheaply.