Josie by Alan Benefit

Alan, so glad to see you writing again, and this piece has great narrative voice and introduces readers to a world they maybe unfamiliar with. Really loved Keith's end line. I would just keep writing scene on scene for now and see what you end up with, then think about shaping it into a novel or novella. I probably shouldn't advertise this on here (sorry TC) but youwriteon.com, sponsored by the arts council is a great site to test out openings to novels, with the chance of a professional critique if you make it into the top 5 at the end of month. I've managed to bounce between no 1 and no 16 - currently at 14 (so no proffesional critique for me this month :( but the site may give you the motivation to pursue and hone this. It's free to join, but you must give critiques to recieve them.Good luck and keep writing. Juliet

Thank you, folks. Lovely to hear from both of you - and thanks a lot for flagging this, ggggareth. Thanks for the info, too, Juliet. I'll give the site a look (sorry TC!). Writing's been hard lately, but I was without the computer for a few weeks (major problems), so spent my time doing it the old way with pen and notepad. One of the things that slows me down with word-processing is that I try to edit as I go along; I keep getting it into my head that it's got to be final copy - so I keep trying to make it final copy before finishing what I'm actually writing. With pen and paper, you can't really do that. So maybe I'll stick to that method. I've been working on a handful of characters, and looking for a way to link their lives together. Josie's one of them. I've written quite a bit more of her story. I'll post it shortly. Then try some of the others. Thanks again. :)

Alan Benefit - great to see you back here. I thoroughly enjoyed this, and look forward to reading more. I've just checked out and signed up to youwriteon, what a great site that seems to be. Different from ABC though, so no conflict that I can see. I'll use both, the slut I am! Ben

Yeah, it's a really strong piece. I feel that I want to know more about the characters. It reminds me of James Kelman (and obviously not the ones written in a Scottish voice). The characters are interesting and I can see that it would easily fit into something else. I understand what you mean about the editing. I find it's better just to keep going until you get to the end. Editing, like you say, can make you stop all together. Even if later pieces fundamentally alter what came before them I leave it. It's easier to change things than you think it will be when you get to end. Whole scenes and characters can be deleted in a few hours. And if you've got 70,000 other words, and it helps the whole, then it's easier to do. If you've got 10,000 words and you're worried about 1,000 then you can ponder for hours if what exactly you should change. I'm going on. Drew http://homepage.ntlworld.com/drew.gummerson2

Enzo i bounce around 4 writing sites, what does that make me? A super Slut :) Good luck with youwriteon, it is a great site, though there is quite a lot of competitive ratings going on near the end of the month, and i think some work on there is very deserving of the top ten, but gets low ratings, but then there are diverse types of genre writers and levels of ability so its a bit pot luck who reads your work. Overall, Standard deviation should even it all out, but you needs lots of reviews, which means giving lots of reviews. It is however, i think, quite unique in that you get cirtiques for the first 10,000 words of a novel,which is hard to do in one go elsewhere on the web, and the carrot of proff critique. Still at number 14 - ARRGH You never know you might get my opening chapters - you lucky thing:) Though i'm not me (Juliet OC) on there and i won't tell you my username, incase you do get some. Easier to rate objectively if you don't know the writer. Juliet

Thanks, Ben. Thanks too, Drew. You're the second person to say that something I've written reminds them of James Kelman. Interestingly, I've never read anything by James Kelman. I'd better make up for that deficit, I guess!

The Kelman short stories I was thinking of are here - http://www.amazon.co.uk/Not-While-Giro-Other-Stories/dp/074939028X/ref=s...

Thanks, Drew. I'll check it out. I think I've seen it in the local library. Just posted the 2nd instalment: http://www.abctales.com/story/alan-benefit/josie-part-2

Very nice writing, an entirely believable voice. Do you have a plot mapped out, or are you letting the character take you where it wants to go? I'll certainly keep reading any further instalments. Very good indeed in my opinion regards Ewan

Thanks a lot, Ewan. No, I don't have a plot mapped. I can't work that way (which often means I end up with something that tapers off into nothing!) I've got a vague idea, though, about where it might go. I'm working with a number of other characters, seeing how their stories develop, with the hope that these separate stories will overlap in some way, forming a connection between people who are otherwise unknown to one another. Or it may just be separate stories, each one including something (an incident, minor character, etc) that gets explored in greater detail in a different story. Sort of like the way Alice Munro works - would that I could aspire to her standards in other ways. The transsexual bus driver in 'Josie' is one such story I'm looking at. Thanks again, ggggareth. The 'thirst' came across to me, too, when I was writing it. Got through lots of coffee that day, I can tell you.