The Undertakers

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The Undertakers

I know that it is always a dangerous game to ask for feedback (putting your puddings out for treacle, I've heard it called) but it would be useful to know if you think it is worth persevering with the ongoing story about my Undertakers and their trip to Spain?  I have two or three more episodes to share on here and then I've reached the limit of the story as written to date.  I think it has the potential to become a longer story, but I would be interested in your thoughts.  If you haven't seen the series yet, it starts here:


Thanks.  Philip.

Hi Phil - yes, definitely continue.  I've been a bit sporadic on the site recently so haven't kept up, but I've now read up to part 6 and would really like to know what happens!  The potential for a lovely offbeat comedy is all there.  I think it may need a bit of pruning and sharpening up some of the dialogue but you have set out the characters well, and presented us with a situation which promises conflict, tension and wry humour.  Not sure if you're thinking a full length novel or a long short story but it certainly feels like there's more to come.

Thank you so much for taking the time to leave this very useful and constructive feedback.  I'm thinking in terms of a novella, perhaps?  I'm afraid that I just tend to keep writing and see how it develops, which perhaps isn't the best technical approach but works for me!  I know what you mean re the dialogue and pruning and I'lll bear that in mind.  Thanks again.