bananas

couldn't they make a special forum on abc for foul mouthed or drunken people, where they could say what they liked, and then the innocent would know not to venture there?

I think we're already on it Freda.

Shirt. You are known as 'shirt' because you wear lurid 'shirts'. I don't qualify to be known as 'haircut' because I haven't had one since last Boxing Day. I used to be known as 'Ladywriter' or 'Pendragon', but since they have been killed off, along with their writing, by some Kent in C...ish Town (aka tav, I believe), and requests to be resurrected have gone unanswered, I'll have to revert to my old name. You know, the one that is a secret.

..like I said.......HAS ANYONE CUT ONE IN HALF YET!!!!!!

sorry hovis... I'm only a poor student can't afford any bananas I promise to try just a soon as i get a job.... about 3 years okay?

Oh dear, it seems I may have inadvertently taken my eye off the balls. Now that's a thing I rarely do, but I have to raise my hand and say sorry to his Tavness as I have found my long-lost siblings.

.....aw can't have that - I'll send you one in the post Vicky - ..... and then it will of course look just like a hedgehog!!!!!!!

...erm you know....this is by far the longest thread I have ever started... would just like to mention that....

ah thanx Hovis... that'll feed me for a week still wondering why we need potasium tho...

Dear Haircut, The thing about nicknames is that the person they are ascribed to has absolutely no influence or veto over the name or names they are given. If you want to, adopt nommes de plume to your heart's content, but we others will call you whatever we want to. I love you George. Salaryman.

which way do you cut it hovis? longways or across the middle? this is by far the oddest thing i have ever heard you say ...

Not in front of the children Stephen!

..Fish you take a banana and cut it in half across the middle and then you look at one cross section bit - the whitey bit...it needs to mature a little tho - leave it for half an hr or more.... agree haven't had an odd moment for a while...but i so like them!!!

..and potassium...well if I remember rightly I think it's to do with cell metabolism - you need potassium and sodium to get all the fluids exchanging nicely...yum...and so if you is low on potassium the balance tips and you get far too salty!!! and shall I give you a bunch of fives Vicky - that'll keep you going for a least a month!!!!!

I agree with shirt. shut up haircut.

ps Hovis, you are now well in the lead vis a vis thread reads.

Hold on. We're trying it ion the office. Mark's looking for a knife.

I agree with neither of you, shut it stormy.

I can't see the owl - it looks like a lobstery, pincery thing. Steve says it's a cowboy Mark reckons it's a moth. We're on different drugs this week.

Have just seen your post Tony and found your concern quite touching but a large mug of cocoa! what not for me, a large helping of tlc now you are really! talking. All over the flue now Tony and went to a cracking!!! christmas party at the blind club Tuesday some people haven't got a clue about elderly people the place was rocking I was right up there with them even took the mike and lowered the tone by singing "All me life I wanted to be a barrow boy" and even sung the second verse which not a lot of people know because its sung in cockney slang and they loved it, mind you it sounded as if I had had a good few pints haven't been to a great party like that in years took me back to the days when we really knew how to enjoy ourselves they don't even know how to scratch the surface now adays it was a real tonic...

E-lec-trical banana, Goin' to be a sudden craze. E-lec-trical banana Goin' to be the very next phase. They call it mellow yellow...... (lie down in darkened room) Wowee man. Smokin'. We is on different drugs this week.

Did you know that the myth going about in the late sixties about scraping out the inside of banana skins, drying it and smoking it, was started by Santana's drummer, Michael Shrieve?

no I didn't.... have you ever tried it?

It doesn't work. But a packet of ground nutmeg in a pint of milk makes you seasick.

I'm not surprised! It's making me ill just thinking about it. When I was 14 a mate and I tried to smoke grass...... as in...er ...grass (it was May and all the lawns were mowed nicely) Don't try it. Ever.

... and I bet you had a few gins in it too jay ... (I'm getting to the stage where I feel i have to put a smiley after posts otherwise people think you are being nasty. but I don't want to. sheesh!)

Stephen, seasick rather than sick? I am intrigued. Nearly to the point of wanting to try it, or more realistically at encouraging someone else to try it while I look on and ask questions. My dad told me about banana smoking the same weekend he told me about trepanning, drilling a hole in your head to make your thoughts clearer and more pleasant. It is a good job that I was a repressed child who didn't do anything on impulse...

Was your dad kinda medieval andrew? I thought trapanning was the medieval way to get rid of demonic posession as opposed to the modern way of watching disney films back to back...

go on then Kath

Stephen doubt if this will get seen now but in answer to your thread above which I have only just seen as you seem game to my proposal lets give it our all as I'm sure we will make a great team do hope your singing voice is good as mine is incredible. Cough's to clear throat and say I am allowed a little white lie now and again...

...and if you cut one down the middle and shove a flake in and stick in the oven it turns into........ a penguin!

Stormy I can see how you might think that but I don't drink any more but the way I act when I'm enjoying myself everyone thinks I've had a few but my only tiple now adays is water Promise and I have a dam good time on it. Who ever said you can't enjoy yourself without drink just watch me and learn but must!! have music...

Birds Eh?

Jay is on the programme for the next ABC live event. By special request she will sing at least two verses of "All me life I wanted to be a barrow boy". I am looking for a backing track as we speak.

.. I know Stormy....I never had a thread this long.......someone's gonna stitch me up BIG time!!!!

But if you dry the skin and smoke it you just get to feel sick.

you aren't allowed to take bananas into prison in your lunchbox

Have you done time Fishy?

i am sooo appreciative i am in slices!

Andrew, seasick, as you will know if you have ever been it, is a whole different kettle of fish than just plain sick. It's nausea times three with wobbly legs and double vision and a firm belief that you are not going to come back from this hell and be normal again. Trepanning. Well, it goes back at least to the Aztecs who were so successfull at it, despite not having Black & Decker, that some of the skulls that we still dig up today in Central America have had two inch diameter holes bored in them and the bone edges are rounded and largely healed over. which shows considerable life after trepanning. And don't for God sake start Pip Pip on trepanning. Can't remember the details but I think he might have had it done to him.

And you listen to Mr Leitch? Shame on you Steve.

nor are you allowed to take a banana through customs at the airport. My sister once had a banana confiscated from her luggage. I can't remember whether she took it back from them and ate it on the spot before boarding the plane, or just wished she had.

I am allergic to bananas. I come up in a terrible rash.

No, Haircut, I do not listen to Mr Leitch and his pleasant flower child nonsense. I did not listen much to Santana either, then or now. (His 21st century efforts rate only slightly above that Dire Straits guitarist whose name I can't spell right now but was the biggest charlatan in soft rock ever to make a buck.) But I knew bananas was a hoax without having to waste time. Trumpet flowers (datura) worked, apparently. Shirt

Mark Knoppolnoffleeerr is a Charlatan? Do they employ the transfer system in the rock world, when did he join them?

Dunno. The only Charlatans I know were a second-rate but good hippy band in San Francisco in 1967. Isn't Spelling Error too young for that? Or was there some other band called Charlatans?

There's a grumpy/moody/scruffy quintet from Manchester(well up north somewhere) called the Charlatans. I can't believe a hip guy like you hasn't heard of them.

apparently bananas are an excellent source of potasium but for the life of me i can't figure out why we need any......

sprouts poetry at you lot. and you're bananas

Greg Rusdeski used to eat them between sets... and look what happened to him.