All New Mastermind 4

I was raised a redneck, I grew out of it when my government taught me how to hate other nationalities. I grew out of that too. For now, lets just say I'm some guy in Colorado you know nothing about and who likes to write bad horror stories when he's not playing with his grandkids. Everything else is variable, depending on my mood at the moment and on if I got laid last night. The Easter Bunny pegged me dead on! Think of me just like that and we'll be fine.

lol... cheshire, east-midlands? Step outta your slippers much, missi? :)

'The Bunny is Funny!' Yeah! These are damn funny. And, frighteningly, I recognize all the assorted characters. Just shows where I'm doing most of my reading. So what about a wind-up on me, EB? Ok, I'm not exactly a 'regular' but I AM easy, and you're good. I offer myself up for a C & P.

How nostalgic it's been to look back on my visits to Carpet World. The house is looking a bit threadbare now... ;-)

The precise location of Cheshire is, like your location, completely immaterial to me. From where I'm sitting it is roughly half way up the country and to the left. That's good enough.

Shelagh, it's very brave of you to volunteer but there IS one major hurdle that I can see. All of the previous victims have one thing in common. They stick out from the crowd for what are very often the wrong reasons. You my dear are far too nice, seemingly devoid of any trace of vitriol, stupidity, irritating character traits or flamboyance. I've never seen you be nasty, abusive or calculatingly destructive. If you really want to be in the hall of infamy you must develop a nervous tic or nasty habit.

Gee wiz George, based on your requirements, she would qualify. I think you covered the entire human race (living that is)

She doesn't like wearing underwear apparently.

Author: mississippi (---.server.ntli.net) Date: 03-30-05 20:57 The precise location of Cheshire is, like your location, completely immaterial to me. From where I'm sitting it is roughly half way up the country and to the left. That's good enough. ---------------------------------------------------------------- to the left.....good..we're getting there...so the left would be.....west! perhaps? ;)

I'm sitting in Carlisle!

No no that won't do either will it? Ok, I goofed, I meant West Midlands

Look, I don't really care where the w.anker is, he's STILL a w.anker.

Hello, sorry I am late I have been watching the start of the new series of Hustle (I forgot it was on when I posted last night) and, this is the ironic part ... I forgot Mastermind was on at 8pm! Well, the telephone lines are now closed ... thanks for all the photographs Warren. I did say at the top of this thread that we 'new' celebrities this time so, sad as it is, 1leg, Shackleton, Stormy, Emma and anyone else featured previously will not be in All New MM4. Emily, good call but only 6/10 I'm afraid. I suppose we had better start then eh? First contestant please.

hahahahahaha f.ucking mastermind!

Dream on missi!

Is this something like television?

Easter Bunny: Your real name please? Rub A Dub Dub: Michael Casey EB: And your location? Michael Casey: 10, Green Bottles, Hanging-on-the-Wall. EB: And your specialist subject? Michael Casey: Nursery Crimes. EB: Michael Casey, your time on “Nursery Crimes.” starts now: Here at EB headquarters, we noticed your campaign to “Bring Back English Dates etc” and feel we have to point out that dates are not an English product. Pedantry aside, can you think of a well known nursery rhyme character you resemble? (think: too many dates and 17stone). Michael Casey: The Butcher , The Baker and The Undertaker © By Michael Casey Chapter Two: Tedious To Read The next day dawned bright and cheerful with the morning breeze seeming to play catch with the clouds moving them across the blue sky , the sun was smiling too stretching itself over the horizon , soon it'd chase the night away . [Ed’s note: Stop that! There isn’t space in this thread for that kind of nonsense.] You made me laugh Mastermind . Remember Nobel , look what happened there . As for the nursery rhyme guy , I just know I am either Old King Cole (I’m an hilarious old sole [Ed: sure you mean ‘old’ sole?] , or Pat acake the baker ‘ s man . EB: I’m sorry, the correct answer is: Humpty fucking Dumpty . Next contestant please.

Yes, but without moving images. And other stuff.

That was very visual nontheless.

Easter Bunny: Your real name please? Phorum Bhajee: Ritawrites EB: And your location? Ritawrites: B, 52, Bombay. EB: And your specialist subject? Ritawrites: Napalming da threads, YOU FARKING MUTHA POO PANTS. EB: Ritawrites, your time on “Napalming da threads, YOU FARKING MUTHA POO PANTS” starts now: It is doubtful anyone will ever forget your wise contributions to these threads ... given your love of Indian food, the phorum members concluded that you remind them of an item on a take-away menu. Any idea what it is, you drugged-up, anally-fixated Methi? Ritawrites: You ain’t got da guts ASSHOLE!!!!!!!!! C’mon, come and play wiv meeeee ........ pwetty pwease Tony ..... I’m waiting ................................... Aloo? Cummon baby, rita is waiting hunny ....... awww don’t be shy ........ hurry up or I’ll start another thread ...... Aloo Chat? Farkyou then, stinkin asshole poo wiper, admit it, you can’t cope with my intellect, poo pants, tiny willy worm ......... ALOO? ALOO? [Editor’s note: This is beginning to sound like a Resistance sitcom. Stop it at once!] The French Policeman: OK. It’s a fair popadom. I’ll come chapati. EB: I’m sorry, the correct answer is: A Stuffed Nan. Next contestant please.

So Andrew/Emily has never featured in Mastermind? And Emily keeps saying he knows who Mastermind is, and he got six out of ten of the entrants right (a deliberate ploy to keep people off the scent), and he has AOL at home but uses it very sparingly... I'm very suspicious now. Caught in a trap, can't walk out, because I love you too much baby...

Ah, good evening mr radiodenver. Would you like to play?

go for it.

Shelagh, am I supposed to dream of you being nasty or are you suggesting that I have you all wrong in the first place? It wasn't hard to name 6 of the victims correctly. You only have to think, 'Now who is either a pain in the arse or a complete c***?', and the names volunteer themselves.

Wait, not if it has anything to do with Lizards.

Easter Bunny: Your real name please? Al Gorithm: Jonh EB: And your location? Jonh: Uranus. EB: And your specialist subject? Jonh: IP Tracikng. EB: Jonh, your time on “IP Tracikng” starts now: Given that your ability in chasing so-called hackers is now abc legend, what do you think your skills passed on to other phorumites? Jonh: Well, given that E=MC compared and ipso fatco need to loose wieght, I think I hvae shone forumBights how to avoid catching a cold. EB: I’m sorry, the correct answer is: You gave them a virus. Next contestant please.

[%sig%]

----------------------------------------------------- Author: mississippi (213.78.173.---) Date: 10-23-03 09:26 Two of the funniest threads ever were the one about the Australian, can't remember the title for the moment, and Stormy's 'mastermind' thread. Somebody should trawl through the threads and compile a book of the best ones. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Pretty Kruel. But funny all the same

Easter Bunny: Your real name please? pregnant chad the impala: Radiodenver EB: And your location? Radiodenver: The old gnus sanctuary. EB: And your specialist subject? Radiodenver: Anything available via google. EB: Radiodenver, your time on “Anything available via google” starts now: When googling “radio” and “denver” results include links to lyric extracts. Which of those found do you think most reflects your phorum persona? Radiodenver: I am all you Brits want me to be ... I loathe W, hate fox hunters but like shootin’ an fishin’ an’ charmin’ da ladeez with ma homie intellect, so this googlism is particularly happropriate: You fill up my senses Like a night in a forest Like the mountains in springtime Like a walk in the rain Like a storm in the desert ... EB: I’m sorry, the correct answer is: All we hear is Radio ga ga Radio goo goo Radio ga ga All we hear is Radio ga ga Radio blah blah Radio what's new? Next contestant please.

that was very lyrical.

Yes, it certainly was. Who shall we have next? J. Lo?

Do you.

Who IS the Easter Bunny by the way?

Don't be silly. I'm a chocolate rabbit.

Easter Bunny: Your real name please? Liar (sic) bird ... geddit?: Jasper EB: And your location? Jasper: 20, Fostershome, Nightly. EB: And your specialist subject? Jasper: Intellectual superiority. EB: Jasper, your time on “Intellectual superiority.” starts now: Clearly, you consider yourself ‘above’ everyone else here as can be seen by your interpretations of people’s work in which you analyse the often non-existant deep metaphor within. Meanwhile, ABC members have been analysing your own posts. To what Australian product do you - using your self-proclaimed intuition - think they conclude them to be. Jasper: If they won’t play mistreesmind I will? Jasper send’s his helper monkey’s to find hi’s brain ..... go monkey’s go ... use entropy and epheremal ... they won’t understand .... trombone! jaspers monkey’s are cleverer? than closed mind’s of those that inunderstand me? ... fly my babies fly! ... Yessss .... gollum? my ar.se ..... youve found it’s remnants? .... psst dont let them know small bits of my rectal fectal control? .... capricious nihilism zitpop ... nuwang ... my thinking. Jasper says they will never understand you mistreesmand? ......... I do? ....... tarmacadam.......... you are like me ... radiator! ... a construct intellectualism .. thinker out of my box tree, mistreesmind ...... look! a slide? .... weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee .... Geddit? Please be my freind? EB: I’m sorry, the correct answer is: Vegemite. *wa.nk*

Wait, I saw this on television back in the 60's. What was that show?

Mastermind *rolls eyes*

Lisa ... why do wish to know? Do you want play? Sadly, you are not featured in MM4 but if you like, I'll put your name down for MM5 should it be produced. *Chocolate kiss emoticon*

NO- I don't want to play thanks!!!

Would you like to play tomorrow, Jasper?

Do 1legthespider.

Well, I'll take that as a yes then. Only nine more to name, competitioners! Chin up! Bugger ... only eight more to name you ASSHOLES! Double bugger (is that a crime ... if so, Ouch!) ... only seven more ... Goodnight.

Aww, that's a shame Lisa. >>>Mastermind *rolls eyes*<<< Hahahaha Denver, maybe you had it in the states in the sixties but I don't think it started in the uk untill the late seventies/early eighties ... I dunno, you google it for me, I'm too busy c&pasting right now.

Easter Bunny: Your real name please? Walter Sports: Bob Roberts EB: And your location? Bob Roberts: 3, Wivesdown, Fabrication upon Why? EB: And your specialist subject? Bob Roberts: Maintaining the same joke for six months. EB: Bob Roberts, your time on “Maintaining the same joke for six months” starts now: The phorum, bored of the tales from piddle, recently voted you ‘Man of the Bathroom.’ Can you guess your prize? Bob Roberts: *Lights up another bowl of Old Repetitive Joke whilst considering what to pour into his ABC mug ... settles upon a bucket of the peculiar Refertomyselfinthethirdperson (100% proof) ... ponders ... puffs ... struggles to keep in character ... takes advice from mrs wob loberts #3* “Wob, wemember your bafroom expelience wiv hairy welsh cuzzin ...” *Erm ... opens bottle of Jasper’scopiedmystyle ... pours two fingers ... wonders if this is the place for confessing to shaving Myfanwy?* EB: I’m sorry, the correct answer is: A golden shower from Rita Wongs, gargoil of your dweams. Chins up, Wobble! Next contestant please.

Lianna Easter Bunny? You're very beautiful and clever, but no I don't want to play.

*'little smiley thing'*

I think Liana has gone to bed.

Wob Loberts was brilliant.. Shuttup Radio... or else the frog gets it!

And how would you know that?