Hydra
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30 of my 138 comments have been voted Great Feedback with a total of 31 votes
Time for a change I thought. So, I've reverted to my original user name from another site and another era. I've cleared out all the old work and I'm starting again with a blank page.
Strong images. This has a
Posted on Tue, 05 Aug 2014
Strong images. This has a snapshot quality, as if someone had taken it quickly in passing. It works well and I like it.
Read full commentPosted in Flat Wind
The thing is Jesus (I can
Posted on Sun, 03 Aug 2014
The thing is Jesus (I can call you Jesus can't I?) This is actually rather good. But it makes for shit reading. If this was a book I'd have binned it before line 2. But the dialogue is definitely film material. It's quite pacey - like being...
Read full commentPosted in Johnny Incest: P.I. (Part 2 of 2)
And this is only the second
Posted on Wed, 25 Jun 2014
And this is only the second position! Not sure what my grand-parents would say, what with all that slurping and thrusting. I liked it though.
Read full commentPosted in Tonight Second position
Many a true word spoken in
Posted on Sun, 15 Jun 2014
Many a true word spoken in jest. I have three daughters and I've been on that ceiling many times
Read full commentPosted in My Heart Belongs to Daddy
Cherry worthy
Posted on Tue, 27 May 2014
Lovely natural flow of language in an autobiographical / reminiscent poem. I think the last two lines make the poem. Too soon for what the reader asks. Too soon for the loss of childhood? Too soon for the loss of friendship? What would the...
Read full commentPosted in Castles in the Sand
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