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StoryNotes by Menelaus on Helen’s Abduction bhi182 years 8 months ago
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30 of my comments have received 31 Great Feedback votes

2 Votes

Wonderful read. Insanely jealous of your ability.

Posted on Wed, 06 Jun 2018

This was an absolutely wonderful read. From the opening lines I had total confidence that the writing would not let me down, that it would stay crisp and sharp and the coherence would be maintained. It is as if you have found the secret of...

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Posted in Duka's Return

2 Votes

I do like this...though I

Posted on Tue, 24 Jun 2014

I do like this...though I guessed early on where it was going to lead me, it didn't detract from the poem. The technical language of the imagery is nicely at odds with the actual subject. This creates a tension that brings the poem alive.
I...

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Posted in THE PUNCH BAG

1 Vote

You have to hand to Fantastic

Posted on Wed, 04 Aug 2021

You have to hand to Fantastic Mr Fox and Co. They've adapted so well to the urban environment. 

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Posted in Foxy Till Dawn

1 Vote

Absolutely top-hole old chap.

Posted on Mon, 02 Aug 2021

Absolutely top-hole old chap. Spiffing read. Sweetcorn you say? Sounds like you could be one of her five-a-day.

Tally-ho

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Posted in Focus on the lips

1 Vote

I agree wholeheartedly with

Posted on Fri, 30 Jul 2021

I agree wholeheartedly with with Kilb50 about the poem, but I couldn't help noticing the title. Helen wasn't abducted. She was in cahoots with Paris all along. When the Trojans argued for sending her back, both she and Paris refused. Which is a...

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Posted in Notes by Menelaus on Helen’s Abduction

1 Vote

I have come back to this post

Posted on Sat, 27 Jun 2020

I have come back to this post several times today because I find its crispness refeshing. You have a very clean writing style which is naturally fluent and easy to read. You also know how to use the narrator's voice to manipulate atmosphere and...

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Posted in Black Catters

1 Vote

This is very short but it

Posted on Fri, 02 Aug 2019

This is very short but it conjures up a vivid image. Even though it is a fantastic notion, it still has believability. Overall it works really well.

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Posted in Back to Earth

1 Vote

I like the subject. I also

Posted on Thu, 01 Aug 2019

I like the subject. I also like how compact the writing is, nothing wasted, every line brief but adding its own weight.

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Posted in Stateless in New York

1 Vote

This resonated (second time I

Posted on Wed, 20 Jun 2018

This resonated (second time I've used that word today and it's only 9.30)

When I got hit by the depression juggernaut I didn't even know I was standing in the road. Apparently everyone else knew something was wrong but because I was busy...

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Posted in The Iceberg

1 Vote

The plot works, the pace is

Posted on Mon, 18 Jun 2018

The plot works, the pace is good, and there's an interesting twist at the end.

However, for me the narrator and her boyfriend feel stereotyped and because of that the overall story lacks a little bit of bite - even though the ending is...

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Posted in BAIT

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