Hydra
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30 of my 142 comments have been voted Great Feedback with a total of 31 votes
Time for a change I thought. So, I've reverted to my original user name from another site and another era. I've cleared out all the old work and I'm starting again with a blank page.
Totally original, extremely
Posted on Mon, 18 Jun 2018
Totally original, extremely wicked and hilariously sharp. Really well written and I couldn't help smiling when I got to the end.
Possibly a bit wordy in the second paragraph, e.g. A sigh escaped his slightly parted lips...why not just say...
Read full commentPosted in The Love Addict
For those who remember when
Posted on Thu, 14 Jun 2018
For those who remember when Ian St John (later of Saint and Greavesy fame) played for Liverpool, I remember seeing a great banner that read:
JESUS SAVES...BUT ST JOHN KNOCKS THEM IN ON THE REBOUND.
Read full commentPosted in Vamos España
Cracking story. Well thought
Posted on Sun, 17 Jun 2018
Cracking story. Well thought out, well paced and well structured.
I think if you read it aloud you might find a couple of clumsy sentences and a spell and grammar check might get pick some typos. For example:
'Finally, my feet...
Read full commentPosted in End of the World
An observant story Drew. I
Posted on Sat, 16 Jun 2018
An observant story Drew. I got the impression the narrator was not happy being made to comply with the needs of his siblings. Good on him I say for making a stand. But now he has to make a choice between getting out of that situation and living...
Read full commentPosted in Choose One Cake Only
Hi TK. It's a good story with
Posted on Sat, 16 Jun 2018
Hi TK. It's a good story with a believable narrator but I did find it a little confusing trying to work out what was going on. Maybe you should try and shorten it and make it simpler. Did you need all the stuff about the insurance man for example...
Read full commentPosted in Grace Part Twenty.
Very invocative of my visits
Posted on Thu, 14 Jun 2018
Very invocative of my visits and time in Spain. Cold beer and pizza, Vamos Espana indeed - except Sergio Ramos. I'm a Liverpool supporter and he does not amuse me.
Read full commentPosted in Vamos España
I agree with the sentiment.
Posted on Fri, 15 Jun 2018
I agree with the sentiment. Very much akin to one of my favourite poems (Orkney / This Life by Andrew Greig).
I do like it but I'm not sure about the structure. The prose is really good but there's something about the line length...
Read full commentPosted in The minutes and the hours
Agree wholeheartedly with the
Posted on Sat, 01 Jul 2017
Agree wholeheartedly with the sentiment.
Any chance of a tune to go with it?
Read full commentPosted in Just coping (Song)
Cherries must be on ration if
Posted on Fri, 13 Jan 2017
Cherries must be on ration if this wasn't given any.
Every picture perfectly painted like a modern day Pathe newsreel.
And not first person to boot.
I have no cherries but I award you a sherbert flying saucer.
Read full commentPosted in Breaking the ice
I found your original and
Posted on Fri, 02 Jan 2015
I found your original and refreshing use of vocabulary - it worked paricularly welll with the poem's staccatto rythm. I also liked the little details (e.g. the Bowie reference).
Read full commentPosted in new year
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