Think Of A Name For It

"Plays with language and rests squarely on the line between clarity and confusion."

"Stories that will lead you along strange ways."

"Tomorrow's world today, and vice-versa."

"Ian Duncan Smith's powerfully understated glimpse."

Stories published in:


Eclectica Spotlight Author

Surprising Stories




Why get rid of something that works?

The North Is So Much Better For Youngsters Today

A man came to fix the washing machine, and she noticed his teeth. The man said he had them inserted permanently because he’s a theatrical entertainer.


“Good,” said Dr Grappa. “Now, do you have a problem staggering or leaning to one side?” Geoffrey blinked, “Do I?” he replied beaming.

Nobody Told the Horse

The dog pulled on its lead, and the owners pulled back. They said I shouldn’t hang around. I was making things worse. The dog was hard to control.

I Hadn't Even Started

I took half steps. I passed neat lawns, and tiny conifers. I stopped at a fishpond, and then I was alongside her. I couldn’t believe anyone could walk so slowly.

Not Your Problem

The sun was overhead. There wasn’t a shadow in the square. I saw graffiti. She stopped by a shop window, and I kept walking.

Think Of A Name For It

I saw a clothesline lying in foot high grass, and then I saw the back door. I found the key. I opened the door, and walked into a kitchen.

The Day I Asked Blake Morrison If He Raced Pigeons

The day I asked Blake Morrison if he raced pigeons, there was a bad vibe in the tiny Goldsmith’s classroom, University of London. There was no air. The windows were shut and the blinds were closed.

Last Place in the Labour Party Treasure Hunt

During my time in the Labour Party, in the 1990s, there were plenty of people opposed to its rebranding. But there were also plenty of new people joining all the time.

Fill Her Belly, Boy

“It was nice meeting you,” she said. “See you again some time.” Bernard stared at me. The barman stared at me. Everyone was fucking staring at me.