Red Face Day

I got to smart for my own good Lizzie, they bright me down a few pegs, or should I say lifted me up... But I took it on the chine and did what any respectable Scot's man would do.. *Walked through that nursing stations with a sense of pride...* >what do you do for a living these days?< still involved in research, but not much work around at the moment Lizzie.

So John, are you the cliche "Scottish Engineer?"

Must have told you this one - woman I'd fancied and seen in nightclubs for ages, see her at the bar waiting for a drink with a friend. March up to the bar, flash the twenty "JD and Coke please - and whatever these two are drinking." "That's two waters" says the barman, pause, adds helpfully, "That's free in here." (still pulled though. after I'd climbed out of the huge hole in the floor)

hahahha you tit... no, you never told me that... I am currently sifting through my enormous file of Most Embarrassing Moments. Shall pull one out with a flourish later.

This reminds me, any here ever hear of Howard Stern? He has a radio show in the US, got fined by the FCC for being too crude. He coined the phrase "Blumpie". Any guesses?

Nop! More a paradox in a kilt. Which is fine as long as you don't mined handling the occasional cold tool ~:

i don't embarrass easily ... i hardly ever blush ... the worst one i can remember is when i was working with a group of people with physical disabilities and developed a really good working relationship with a man who was paralysed from the neck down ... he was producing some really good poetry which he dictated and i wrote down and it was a lovely thing ... until my co-worker - a beastly woman called carole - suggested in a lewd manner in front of the entire class that we had 'more than a working relationship' ... it was hideous - embarrassing and awful - i turned red nose red and so did the poor chap ... it was the end of a lovely connection ... he couldnt face it any more after that and i didnt work with the beastly woman again ...

I didnt like you much either as it 'appens.

hey carole ... how is the beard these days?

oh i was quite embarrassed when i asked that woman in somerfield when her baby was due and she replied .... "ahem ...i am not pregnant .... i just lost four stone ..." it still makes me wince 20 yrs later ...

Beard? How dare you. *bristles*

Nothing to report myself *sighs with relief*, but a friend of mine was once pushing a trolley along his local Aldi, when he stepped on a dairylea cheese triangle, slipped and crashed flat on his back as attention grabbing and elegantly as a Hollywood stunt man. Apparently everybody up to the girls at the till were laughing their heads off and he was so humiliated and embarrassed, he vowed never to go to that particularly Aldi store ever again. I don't think that vow lasted long, though. [%sig%]

'it still makes me wince 20 yrs later ...' Wot the fact you went shopping in Somerfield?

I made one of those pregnancy mistakes myself once. I didn't know the lady in question very well, but I'd been in a couple of business meetings with her and then for some reason she was no longer in the meetings for about a month. So I thought she was on pregnancy leave and mentioned something to that effect to one of the guys in the next meeting. There was an uncomfortable silence and then a vulcanic eruption of laughter. Of course, they called her at the first available opportunity and she called me---to say that no she was not pregnant but that she had put on a lot of weight due to eating donuts and was starting a diet at once. fortunately, she had a good sense of humor about the whole thing, but still..... Back in 1988 I was working at Company X let's call it, and one day I received several calls from people expressing their condolences on the death of my father. The thing was that my father had not died. Evidently, someone was circulating a card and since I had the same first name as the person who's father had died, some people mistakenly thought the card was for me. The story got around and everyone had a good laugh. However, I'd seen entirely too many episodes of the Twilight Zone to get into the joke. That was on a Friday before a three-day weekend. On Tuesday morning, my father died. I went into the office and said I would be off for a couple of days and the immediate response of my 'second in charge' was "Oh, did your father die again? hahahaha" Well, you can imagine her embarassment when I told her that in fact my father had died just that morning. I then went to the local deli to buy a sandwich for lunch and the counter man said: "Hey you look sad. Who died? hahaha" Another entry in the Ooops Files. I was really on a roll that day.

I just had one last week in Hawaii. It was the north shore of Oahu, the trade winds were blowing in from the Pacific Ocean. I'm riding a horse named Stitch. We're on a rocky cliff road overlooking the ocean. On top of my head is a brand new Panama hat. The hat blows off my head and lands about 10 feet to the left of the horse. I stop the horse and begin to dismount. My left foot was a little deep into the stirrup and didn't slide out right away. I'm holding the saddle horn with my right hand and tugging at the stirrup with my left. My foot's lodged and I'm hopping around when the wind gusts again and blows my hat in front of the horse. The horse spooks when he sees the tumbling hat. My foot is still in the stirrup. I land on my ass but manage to grab the reigns on the way down. My left elbow is ripped to shreds by the lava rocks and the horse is about to take off running out of fear of my hat. I'm hanging on for life, pulling like hell on the reigns and the horse isn't getting calmer. Just as I am forming mental images of me hanging like a movie cowboy from the stirrup and being dragged across the cliff by a crazy horse, my foot comes loose. Examining my elbow, it's torn up pretty bad and I'm bleeding all over the place. I calm the horse down, wipe the wound with a disinfectant cloth, determine that nothing is broken and pick up my hat, placing it back on my head (a little tighter this time). I climb back on the horse and we start moving down the road. Less than 10 seconds after we begin to move, my hat blows off again in front of the horse and the horse rears up. I wrapped a string around the hat and under my chin. It must have been hilarious, everybody laughed about it for the next two hours.

Couple of weeks ago I was staying at my cousin's and we walked round to the pub after the kids had gone to bed. He'd cooked us a fabulous quorn bolognese with fresh chillies, but something hadn't suited me at all and I had the most horrendous wind building up in my stomach, I couldn't bend in the middle at all. Well, I was drinking my pint (rather slowly due to the wind) and suddenly felt quite desperately ill...I made my excuses and rushed to the loos...it was full of women gossiping of course and taking ages to wash their hands etc...(bugger off I'm thinking...I don't know what's about to happen to me...)...anyway, I locked myself in the cubicle and no sooner had I done so than the most momentous quantity of wind passed my lips...it just kept coming, and being an opera singer, I have a considerable capacity and a very resonant throat...well...how long did I wait to emerge from the loo??? Bloody ages...I was sooooo embarrassed. Felt much better for it though.

I have metioned this on a pevious thread - but most embarrasing moement as getting locked out of (then) Boyfriend's flat in the rush hour on a busy road, in nothing but a towel! Luckily a neighbour saved me and let me climb over his garden wall and into the BF's garden, where I have left the Kitchen door open, thank God. THAT makes me cringe still every time I think of it!

My ex-boyfriend dumped me and then started dating this other girl, and she was always trying to get the three of us to hang out, which was really too much for me at the time. One night, to avoid them, I went to the gym. Apparently my mom told him I was at the gym when he called looking for me, and he somehow remembered what gym I went to, so the two of them came, and he dragged me off of the leg press machine to go bowling with them. (I HATE bowling.) So I was sitting there being miserable while this girl was flirting with this guy that I was still head-over-heels for. My turn came up. I was so upset that I walked up to the lane, swung my arm back to throw the ball... and it slipped out of my hand and flew backwards, almost all the way to the drinking/smoking section in back. They all laughed their asses off (as did four guys sitting in the drinking/smoking section). But when I got up there and tried it again, I got a strike! Ha! Anyway, those two broke up a month or two later, and then we got back together. Now, four years later, I'm living with him. That's kind of funny if you think about it, too. -Elaine.

I've just been talking to my mate Mick who is coming down to Brighton for the weekend. He reminded me of a time a few years back when he was down and we went out on a Saturday night in January. Now I happen to be very partial to late night swimming - whatever the weather - and apparently on this occasion I did my usual - came out of the club, ran down the beach, took all my clothes off and jumped in, swam about a bit, got out and then noticed two young people sat on the groyne (that's the cement sticky-out bit that stops the shingle from getting washed away) snogging. Instead of being embarrassed I just turned to them, still stark bollock naked, and said 'very bracing that - but a tad nippy'. I then urged them to go in - they declined, and then slowly put back on my clothes. I have little recollection of this - but then again, it's only one of so many.

Lizzie....did you used to be somebody else? I remember this story...Have you been away for a while?

Some years ago I worked at a Bio lab as a Lab Jockey, which meant I did most of the running around for the Embryologist. My job was to monitor the Dewar systems and to do this I had to pass through numerous Nursing stations full of Nurses and Volunteers. I some how managed to piss them off and they were hell bent on getting me back. Their revenge was to some how Spike me with Viagra, which was being tested at the time. Walking through those Nursing stations was certainly an up lifting experiences. So embarrassing.

Not noticing that I was wearing patterned socks with tartan slippers. I was in therapy for months................ [%sig%]

Not Argyll, surely? It could have been slightly worse, if you'd worn Tote's toasties with an elegant moccasin. A friend of mine once had on his fridge in those poetry magnet things "There is no simpler pleasure in life than writing in biro on the sole of your slipper" and I think there's a lot of truth in that. It really is satisfying out of all proportion.

ooo i just remembered ... i was in a pub garden with my friend llama and we were sitting on one of those picnic table things drinking pints of guinness... both on the same side and neither of us what you might call sylph-like... we leaned back in unison to get a better look at a bloke further up the garden and the whole thing tipped very slowly up ... in slow motion we were dumped on the floor on our backs - legs in the air still under the table which was now on top of us and pints of guinness down our cleavages ... some kind soul rescued us and said "oh this is always happening" and ever since then i have always sat opposite someone on one of those picnic tables ...

Radio - I have always been me - but at the time on the particular thread I wrote this, I posted as 'Anonymos', however one or two people on here sussed it was me anyway! Also, have never been 'away' as such (only with the fairies, occasionally, that is!) I have just been busy - although I have still been reading ABC.

In 1984 the rugby club that I played for had an easter tour to Italy. We were just a small junior club, where pre-season training invloved switching to low tar cigarrettes on August bank holiday. The agents arranging the tour cocked up, and we were booked to play Treviso, a top Italian first division side. It was the equivalent of your local park football team visiting Real Madrid. On the day of the match a coach took us to the ground, where large posters proclaimed an "Incontro Internazionale" between Harringey RFC and Treviso. We were led out onto the pitch alongside the opposition, both national anthems were played, with the crowd of about 5,000 singing what was obviously a rude version of God Save the Queen ( you could tell by the hand gestures ). It took them about 10 minutes to realise just how bad we were, and we then endured 70 minutes of total humiliation. They scored 84 points - only 3 points for a try in those days - and towards the end were tackling each other to make it harder. I still have one of the posters, but I've never been to Italy since. [%sig%]

Once, when launching a dinghy on the Orwell at night, the tide was just lapping over the very end of jetty. "Pull it round to the other side." Said Dad, and I, since I was wearing my wellies, took a cautious step out onto the submerged part of the hard in order to pull the dinghy out and round. Of course there was no submerged part of the hard and I plunged chest deep into cold riverwater. Fortunately only my dad was there to see.

O-tay lizzie. I remember this from last summer or something. Just wondering who it was, which makes sense now.

Yup it was me and I did share it with you all last year - It still makes me cringe to remember it - as I was trying to hide behind a tree, whilst at the same time trying to catch the attention of someone, (anyone), who had a mobile (cell) phone one them. ( you must remember I had just gone to put the rubbish out and had no mobile, keys, etc on me when the wind blew the bloody front door shut!) When the next door neighbour came out, I managed to accost him - which was embarrassing in itself as we had never met - the then BF had not that long moved into the place. Still it could have been worse, I could have been stuck out there for the whole hour it would have taken him to get back. Instead I was only outside for abut twenty minutes but boy they were a LONG twenty minutes! I THINK that is probably my number one moment, alhtough there is definitely a top 5!

I've given this some thought and I think my reddest faced day was when: I first moved to Norwich I started seeing this bloke. Long story short one morning after we went for a cooked breakfast I said I'd walk home. He kept saying, 'I've got this car I can use. let me give you a lift.' and I kept saying, 'I fancy the walk.' To be honest the night hadn't been much of a success (anyone who read the thread about cringeing and heard about the naked reggae dancing will understand). In the end I said, 'okay,' mostly because I just wanted to get home and have a very hot bath. He took me to this workshop place and knocked on the door. This bloke came to it, who looked a bit like him, and he looked me up and down. The bloke I was with was smirking, and as his brother passed him the keys I realised that a) he was the sort of bloke who took conquests round to his brother to show off b) I had become the kind of woman who was taken round to people's brother's places of work to be shown off. It was very embarrassing - mostly to myself - because all my obsession (at the time) about getting really slim and having swishy hair, had made the sort of bloke I can't stand be interested in me. God. Lesson learned.

Swishy hair?

You know the kind - like women have in adverts, all long and glossy and like a swoosh of silk.

Ohhhh, yeahhhhh....do you wear flavored lip gloss?

At the time *coughs*. I am ashamed to say that I was a complete sell out in the looks department and it brought me nothing but unwanted attention from people I'd rather avoid.

So, you've given up the tart-like tendencies?

Oh, I was never a tart, as such. I was just a bit high-mainenance for a short while to see what it was like. (tart-like tendencies...hmmmph... there's nothing wrong with being a tart, whatever that means).

Tart-like...not Tart. I observe with great confusion that art of tart. Some women will go to great efforts to "paint" themselves and such, then dread the result. You've explained the phenomenon. Mostly, it's a fishing trip isn't it? I still haven't figured out the best solvent to cut the hairspray buildup on the floor in front of the bathroom mirror. I have a sticky sheen on the soles of my feet.

Yes, I was definitely someone who spent a while getting ready and then hated/loved the reaction. The thing was I was trying to be uberwoman, and create a person who seemed perfect with no flaws in any way to men *and* women. I have at least since realised that I am much nicer when I accept I have many flaws and it's okay to show them to the world (within reason). (Thing was I was such a geek as a kid and I got carried away thinking I could be different than I used to be, without realising I was okay before. A perfect cliche, if you will)

The beauty comes from within doesn't it. God, I've lived a "red faced" life on this subject! I'm shutt'n up now.

Actually I think my red faced moments come when I reveal too much on these forums. *coughs*

Oh what funny stories...I am dying from laughter over here!!!! I work for a mutual fund company and on my very first day on the job I had a bunch of reports that I had to run early in the morning. Well I felt the button of my skirt come loose but I didn't worry about it because it had a zipper and I would only need to carry it to the trading floor and that was about five seconds. Well just as I was about to step on the trading floor the skirt dropped to the floor. there was a guy training me and he was so cool about it and all I could muster was OMG my skirt fell...and he said Why don't you let me take that stack. So I pulled up my skirt I was SOOO embarrassed but he was great about it. After we had become friends he told me how he and the others had laughed about that for weeks!

my list is almost endless, I've already told about weeing on a stranger in a pub toilet and tieing myself to a wardrobe as a kid until my mum could rescue me (only to understand where my sense of humour comes from as she abandoned me and went to get her mates to laugh before cutting the tie) I also had to once tell my girlfriend's dad that his willy was hanging out of his shorts and i didn't even know him well enough to be on a 'first name basis' at the time.

You are joking John! Aren't you?

I have my hair cut by Wendy, a friend of the family who lives round the corner; she has two grown-up daughters, a junior school age daughter and also child minds as well as haircutting. After my last-but-one haircut I chatted for a while, had a cup of tea and decided I needed to go to the loo before heading home. I went upstairs to the bathroom, opened the door ... and their adult daughter Amanda was in the bath! So why didn't she lock the door? Well, the door lock is quite high up to ensure young children can't lock themselves in, but Amanda is exceptionally short and can't reach it either, and she didn't realise I was around.

I've never had an embarrassing moment in my life. But my sister has. She is vertically challenged at 4'8". Her natural body weight should be around 6 stone, but she is 11 stone. Yes she is orbicular. She is also in the habit of wearing a rucksack that is - well judging from the weight - is filled with bricks. Last week she was trundling along and dropped some money, bent over to retrieve it, stood up a little too quickly, and toppled over backwards onto her rucksack/carapace. For she now resembled a turtle. And she did that turtle thing of floundering. She couldn't get up, roll over, nothing. Just flounder. A good looking young man came up (which only compounded the shame) and asked if she was OK? To which the correct response is "Never been better, now pick me up you F$#@ing moron!" This he attempted to do but said "I can't you're to heavy" The combined weight of my sister+rucksack would have been about 13 stone. He did eventually unharness the rucksack and she was able to roll over and get up. She is now dieting.

Lizzie. I kid you not!

I did go into a very dark bathroom at my other ex-boyfrend's sister's party once, to answer a call of nature, sat down (without turning the light on), and instead of encountering a lavatory seat, encounterd a pair of warm thighs - turned out to be the boyfriend's (by now inebriated beyond return) brother-in-law - who was, luckily, too drunk to remember even an hour later. In case you are all wondering, no I did not pee on him! I fear this is too much information and this my second most embarrassing moment. I think I may have shared too much information now. *retires to bed*

'In case you are all wondering, no I did not pee on him! ' Yes but did you shag him?

LOL! John - that is hilarious - what on earth did you do, one wonders, to be subject to that?! You say used to be a lab jockey - I hardly dare ask - what do you do for a living these days?

Stephen - that's a gem. Now we need Liana to show us hers.