Backhanded compliments

John...I love your special appliance of science

Shirt - like philip schofield but so much taller. (Yank, Flash, Yank! Oh for a Mozilla)

Drew is never filthy with me... sigh. *what's the typing equivalent for 'did I say that outloud' ? *

hey they weren't back handed Emma! I could come up with loads of geniune ones for the good folks of abc.

I think you are all lovely, even if you don't speak proper English.

Andrew - do you want a share of the AC/DC t-shirt?

Don't think you need it any more, Emma! As a lawyer and a complex person, my T-shirt would have to be so full of qualifiers and definitions, it would be down to my feet. I just think Drew is very handsome and talented, and very happy with his nice young man and I think I'll be shutting up right about now.

Rachel - you are so forgiven - and after that description of Shirt we are all in hysterics - he will be known as PS for a while down Camden way. They even gave silly hats in the pub today - specially for Paddy's Day. It didn't make up for the horses though.

Mmm because Lofty is the perfect candidate to front sappy daytime TV programmes - I'm sure he would be utterly sympathetic to menopausal ladies with troubles down below.

Oh, must just say that Drew has never been filthy to me either, directly - but I've read a good deal of his erotic work - *speechless*. Only he could see the sensuality in a severed foot.

Jude - you are my paradox and soul - mate. Which is a paradox in it's self. *Smiles fondly* missi- you are an exception to my rules, but you do it with style and conviction. I respect that. Flash - Your like a best friend that kills you through laughter, I nearly choke some times with your one liners. Radio - I think we two are in tune except your Yankee logic may be slightly out of sink. I mean come on radio! Who would call a 'Dummy tit', a pacifier? Stormy - A man of few words but clear deductive thinking. But what happens when you un plug your P.C? Jasper! You make my dyslexia look good. Thanks mate. Rachel - you just make me laugh constantly and for some one in your condition, thats quite an achievement.

*blush* People always talk about sex at work and I hate it. My erotica isn't erotic to me; 'Feet' was a story about a man getting cold feet. So it was logical that someone should have sex with his severed foot. *looks around quickly for some lofty purpose as it scurries across the plains* Did you read my latest one Emma, about the man who has the speaker put up his bum and then has a Vox-like experience. I kind of chickened out on it, and although I sent it off to Best Gay Erotica 06 I think it needs work. Advice would be nice. Actually finishing in the top 10 of stories selected out of 400 entered for Best Gay Erotica 05 is my proudest moment. I'm up there with all the big hitters of American porn writing, and 'Strange Chateau' is different. Currently it is about the only thing I'm proud of.

of course now if there is a post you dont want liana to read you just have to include the magic word and hey presto!

ha... it doesnt work that way. Cheeky.

Only if you include it in the "Your Name" field, but I'm working on a fix for that. Soon I shall have an all powerful extension, able to ignore anything remotely insensitive or poorly spelled, and shall live in a dingly dell abc world composed entirely of happy well meaning posts by Emilly Yaffle. And if that isn't a back handed compliment...

There's no hope trying to hide anything from Liana, Fish - I've sat next to her as she's scrolled down the threads, and she memorises a 100 post thread in 10 seconds...

... of roses. bwahahaha...

*speechless*

Rachel - oh, you don't look much like your sister, do you? Jasper - you always say what's on your mind Stormy - you look a little like a second division football manager (I did actually say this to him, but I also told him that he looked about fifteen years younger than I imagined... which also counts, I think) And I did tell Liana once in a mixture of shock, awe and absinthe that she was 'stacked' - which is not a backhanded compliment at all, but it was still a surprise to be saying it...

Right thats it, I'm off to do the hoovering. Am even more speechless now.

Better than "you don't look much like your father" I suppose Liana - scrub harder (that'll have to do for now)

Rachel: Muffins, still my favourite nickname for you, despite what you promised to do to my testicles if i ever called you it again.

Oo really. I can't remember but I'm sure I could think of something. Not muffins any more, mate. More like plum duffs. (bet Liana's showing her muffin tops while she's hoovering - I'll leave you to think about that and it has nothing to do with boobs)

Jasper - you are so below radar, it's actually quite an achievement.

Hey, Does anyone here use Mozilla? Because Dan made me a GREAT program... I am using it all the time now. It's the same as an ignore button for the forums. hurrah. You cant believe how good it is.. Dan is my hero, and the cleverest bestest geek I know. (Is that a backhanded compliment?)

Being not very technical (I have yet to own a mobile phone so a mozilla may be beyond me) I use the old fashioned method of fingers in ears and lalallalalalalaa coming out of mouth. Could he get a Godzilla?

Oh no, don't say you don't like me Jasper, my brittle shell of self-confidence will collapse in on itself. *winks*

'Hey Flush...ya ain't got nuts..I've seen em!' Erm.......ok!!!!!! How? Well i might have none Jaspiee, but Australia is obviously full of them cunts that is...i mean nuts.

Rachel - you are always so reliable for lunch. I forgive you everything. Keep hoovering Liana - the vision is with me.

Is there some sort of Retard of the year award you're going for Jaspiee? Cos you can chill and go into cruise mode now cobber, cos you're miles ahead of the rest of the field, and some field that is. Now if you don't mind, could you please fuck off pronto.

George, the holy spirit truly shines through your love

Tony - I am terribly unreliable for lunch (was trying to keep morning sickness under wraps) but am confused - am I forgiven or not? Jasper - you are a desperately unsatisfactory being - I would recommend that you try harder but in fact I couldn't care less.

Missi-much better looking than the wurzels lead singer. Liana-Bionic woman/GI Jane. Stormy-much better than a third rate mississippi. John & RD- Not as Nerdy as they first appear to be. Fish- obviously a Brill fish. Marty T- thinner than Anthony Worrall Thompson.

I resemble that remark Flash.

You guys are just great, for people I only meet in the virtual world of the web

RD - not bad for a yank.

Stop yanking Rd Rachel, you're already spoken for and with child for heaven sake!!!!!!!!

Rachel, Mozilla is just a browser like Internet Explorer (but vastly superior). You know, Dan's program is great... I get little empty boxes instead of piles of guffy illiterate loonsome posts from that berk ... I just look at the little empty spaces and laugh my head off. I can now read between the lines and be all smiley. Dan stands up there with the bloke who invented chocolate Hob Nobs, for when I am Queen and get to give out gongs. Yay Dan. Tony, do you realise how clever Dan is?

*does a twirl in AC/DC t-shirt* Missi - troll baiter extraordinaire Flash - no-one can compare with the way you have developed the literary possiblities of a single sentence Andrew - you've used up more of my hard drive than anyone else (even my lovers can't keep up with the amount of storage you require on my pc) Drew - you're filthy under that charm Liana - I'll never forget the way you brought eggy bread back into my life Fish - delectable bundle of plotless consciousness, you silver me... Rachel - how nicely you remind me of the joys of pregnancy TC - literary guru of the internet! Mark - one day your beauty will be noticed and you'll make millions dressed like Lawrence L-B on the front cover of 'Good Housekeeping'. Radio - you've bullshitted your way into my heart 1Leg - without your insults, where would I be today? Neil - you champion my work so much, I'll probably waste my whole life thinking I can write Fergal - for a moment you made me think I might wear pink again