Plea for help

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Sun, 2012-06-10 15:18

Plea for help

I would appreciate any comments on how I can improve my poem Going for Gold which is a fiftieth Anniversary poem. By improvement, I mean the technical aspects as I don't seem to have an ear for metre or rhythm. The words are not set in concrete so if it was necessary to alter some in order to improve it that would be okay too. Writing proper poetry doesn't come naturally to me but this poem I want to be as special as I can make it without it being written by someone else. I am also more than a little embarrassed not only by what I've written but also because I am drawing attention to it. However, I am prepared to live with that.

Moya

Sun, 2012-06-10 16:30

TVR

Hi Moya, I haven't read it yet but I will and offer any help I can, although I'm not too clever at poetry myself. What I will say - and I think I've mentioned it before about this particular poem and event that's so important for you - is that whatever you write will be from the heart so just stay faithful to that premise and it will come out fine. If you start worrying about metre and rhyme it may tempt you to stray from your true thoughts for the sake of satisfying that technical aspect alone. Don't worry about it because you are writing for a loved one who I assume is not a serious critic, just someone who loves you dearly. I don't know how literary appreciative he is, But I doubt whether the technical aspect of your poem will worry him unduly. The most important thing is the emotion and sincereity you convey with yours words, and you always do that. So do what you always do so well and write from the heart and I bet hubby will love it as much as any of us. Trev

TVR

Tue, 2012-06-12 06:44

(Reply to #2) #3

Denzella

Aaaw Trev, You're such a great guy! Thanks for all of the above and you are right my beloved will not be in the least bit critical even if I should write it in a foreign language. He would just say. 'Lovely dear! Very nice!' Mind you, if he does...he will be saying it from his hospital bed! Moya x

Mon, 2012-06-11 00:15

Sooz006

I'm all read out for tonight, hun and I'd like to come to it with fresh eyes. I'm no poet, so don't know if I'll be any help to you, but I can try. See you tomorrow.

Tue, 2012-06-12 06:47

(Reply to #4) #5

Denzella

Sooz, I can't thank you enough for being prepared to come galloping to the rescue. Moya

Wed, 2012-06-13 20:11

Denzella

DING DONG!

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