Hello?... hello...? hello...?

Look, if this liaison goes anywhere it'll be sheer luck, Holmes.

I think so Jeff. how was the custard.

*gulps * Pssst Flash - He'd have to be very clever to lure me anywhere's I might not want to go Mistress - whose my master then- surely I must have a master if I'm a mistress? I just had another offer - this time to clean my bathroom? At this rate I'll be able to relax and allow others to do all the nitty gritty work for me Flash You wouldn't know what these secrets are would you?

Or should i say.. Luck my dear man has nothing to do with the obvious! One must only consider the facts and nothing but the facts? Flashy, by his own admission! Reads about people who like to fiddle with them selfs.. The temptress pioden, again by her own admission has had numerous encounters with un suspecting strangers, dairy products and kitchen utensils! The rest is elementary dear Jeffry.. Elementary!

Temptress???? Pioden what are you up to now..........i thought these strange men in your kitchen were trying to tempt you not the other way around. And no don't tell me secrets......they're too,too much for me .......i'm only little. And get it right Sherlock it was you and your bleedin fiddlin i read about no one else's.so come on admit it when no is there you whip it out and give it a strum don't you? The rest is a lemon entree my dear........whoever.

no its Emmental - I keep telling you its Emmental cheese dairy products and kitchens go together ... Cheese

Your performance is academic, that i grant you.. but the evidences of your cunning scheme has not gone un noticed? Firstly, there is the matter of your clever use of metaphors, hidden in your own words and designs to aloud from the evidences at hand.. 'Emmental' you say? Did you think this would aloud the great john - at - homes? well think again my dear lady, for i will now demonstrate the un deniable power of logical observation! "Emmental" is clearly a code that re fares to........ ..em tal men!! hang about! what has 'tall men' got to do with cheese?

I haven't done nothing - yet

This thread has got a bit cheesy. *Considers the wonderful difference between cheese, cake and cheesecake* Anyone for cheesecake?

Pioden you seem to have come a long way since the wayside but do admire the fact even if it has left me behind but if you ever feel like wandering back I promise their will be chocolates and wine waiting with a good old fashioned chin wag and no washing up but do secretly know those days have long gone because nothing lasts forever and you have moved on and thats as it should be because thats what life is all about where as I have stood still so this time when I leave I will sadly close the doors for the last time but store all the lovely memories amongst my most memorable... xxx. Don't quite know why but feeling really morbid at the moment but know from past experiences these things do pass and the quicker the better.

I never close doors Kath just leave them slightly open - just in case I want to go back through them - saves having to brake in. Beside last time I climbed in through a window I did myself an injury and the nice policeman was ever so polite once he realised I was braking into my own home He even arranged for me to have those nice secruity locks and offered me loads of suggestions about how to remember to take my keys with me all the time and he washed his coffee mug before he left too I'll never be far away Kath - I'll be quite busy but never far away and I'll always have time for you in the wayside with some nice cheese sandwiches and a flask of tea xxx

seems ok for me, i haven't been able to log in but the forums are fine.. morning,honey :-)

i am here. i feel terrible...must have had a bad pint last night.

gosh, good morning... i think we're alone you know...

Children behave That's what they say when we're together And watch how you play They don't understand And so we're... Running just as fast as we can Holdin' on to one another's hand Tryin' to get away into the night And then you put your arms around me And we tumble to the ground And then you say I think we're alone now There doesn't seem to be anyone around I think we're alone now The beating of our hearts is the only sound

Morning. No problem for me.

The forums are on a different server and use an entirely different mechanism than the main site so I would be surprised if the powers that be have touched them. According to netcraft they have moved the main site to a different hosting company but left the forums where they are so maybe there is some sort of problem with the name lookup (my tcp/ip is decidedly rusty so I am not sure if that would be a problem or not). Needless to sasy it's ok for me.

Fingers has been away but is now back. Results should be forthcoming. Tony's going into hospital for an operation next week, so in his absence I'm attempting to take on his authorative mantel. Hence the staccato sentences of reassurance. What else shall I say in my new position as pseudo-Tony?

Hurries up to unlock and open the doors at the wayside again and spruce the place up as have a friend coming Oh I really can't wait I am so excited and am over my blues already. Now where's that broom but first music ar thats better The Hills are alive with the Sound of Music>>>>yes thats much better and thinks how the world can change so quickly when you have a nice friend or friends coming to see you. Oh broom do behave Piodens will arrive soon and I can't wait do hope she is not delayed no here she is now runs to hug her Pioden ever the sensible one mind the sandwiches Kath quick lets get the kettle on then we both stoped looked at each other and just fell about laughing it was then I knew Pioden was right about doors staying open and the wayside would never close its doors again...

Main Site??? This is the main site. [%sig%]

i seem ok to use this forum but the bugger is not letting me access any capital letters, hence all lower case for now, the other weird thing is it won't allow me to use modal verbs or the subjunctive, also for some reason cannot mention any mammals except for bears and hedgehogs, dont like to make a fuss but I think theres a problem here

so you're the boss now, Mark Repeat this phrase after me "oi, gardener, mae me a cup of fucking coffee....now" and can you report back on any response... i thank you...

I don't fancy his chances of being able to report much other than GBH if he does that...

and i don't know how gardener would be able to mae a cup of coffee anyhow but he should make you a fucking coffee....

Mark Have you been practicing saying "Ho hum"?

I'm finally allowed back in - was worried until George told me that he couldn't get in either. Don't do that again lads - this is the only way I know all my mates are alive and well...

I can't get on to the new sight, the link no longer works.

Sometimes it works fine, but often the home page won't load at all, then other times when I do get the home page, it takes ages to get to the forums. Of course, if I were clever, I would bookmark the forums, but why spoil a good whinge with a sensible (partial) solution.

Same hear justyn. Think I'll just hang around hear until they get things sorted out. *realizes he has little chose in the matter*

John - Justyn wont be able to hear you on account that your dyslexically hanging onto his ears - well one of them - shall I hang on to the other one just to balance him out a bit sorry that was naughty of me .......... *I love my spell checker*

I can load the forums no problem, there's a separate link, but the main site I can rarely load and then I can't pull down any stories. There's always the library...

Yes pi, please feel free to hang around on Justyn's other lobe. Though he may experience a bit of a hangover..

well as long as he doesn't shake his head we should be ok but I'm not whispering any sweet nothings otherwise his hangover might become ... a bit of a problem and I not really into causing trouble being sweet and innocent Neil your having a lot of bother with this 'loading' and 'pulling down'

perhaps Neil should try 'un loading' and 'pulling up'..

I went to search for him in the library - but couldn't find him anywhere and justyn's gone to sleep I'm bored ... got any games to play?

You've not all gone to the British Library now and left me here on my own Btw is it safe to be here on your own?

Hay PI, this is very strange. I goggled Library as 'yrarbil' - just to relieve the boredom. It came up with UKAuthors.com. Ponders the implications for Dyslexic writers looking for writing forums..

Pi....look under your bed.

why have I got to look under my bed?

dam! invisable clock not working properly? *Hides behind PI'S curtains..

I suddenly seem to have a lot of people in my bedroom for some reason!!

Are you dressed?

Yes radio, she is..

you know what's coming next.... try getting undressed...

Invisable cloves not included!

I am not only dressed but I have a blanket wrapped around my feet cos I don't like been cold so whats under my bed that I should be worried about?

Some thing to do with Vickers and Eggs i wager? Runs for cover..

*Gives Denver THAT look which says Watch it or else *

*growls at Denver*GRRROOWWFFFF!!!

Troughs Eroo a bone.. down boy..