The Raspberry Awards...

Duran Duran had some corkers, as well: Oh when your nine day feed is up and you've drained your loving cup Come stands reeling to the shore oh when the brave are coming out The dry fight and the dusty shout see you crawling on the floor And diamond stars shining glitter bright gorging your sanhedralites Don't get me wrong; I was a biiiig DD fan in the Eighties. Had posters of Nick Rhodes on me walls, but... 'gorging your sanhedralites'? What the.....?? *muses that they don't make drugs like they used to...*

ABBA's song "Does Your Mother Know You're Out" is a bit distasteful. It's more or less about a man flirting with a minor.

I should imagine Cromwell's biggest claim to infamy would be the on-going troubles in Ireland. The 'let's get rid of the mongrelry' was a farce, the tossers are STILL here!

There's another song from the Seventies/Eighties by Benny Mardones that I used to love, until I actually -listened- to the lyrics; now it just disturbs me. Into the Night She's just sixteen years old Leave her alone, they say Separated by fools Who don't know what love is yet But I want you to know - If I could fly I'd pick you up I'd take you into the night And show you a love Like you've never seen - ever seen. I mean, it sounds like a case for abduction and molestation... Lolita, anyone? Leave her alone, they say? Has he been bugging her? Where are the police!? *goes to make a cup of chamomile tea*

There are several bad lyrics in otherwise good songs on Welcome To The North by The Music, my favourite is: Dance for freedom, fathers of the world which makes me cringe every time. Later they end up channelling Baldrick's poetry for their own anti-war message Boom Boom Boom Still a great album though

I always thought this song of the Boy album by U2 was more than dubious. Boy meets man in the shadows, I ask you! TWILIGHT I look into his eyes They're closed but I see something. A teacher told me why I laugh when old men cry. My body grows and grows It frightens me, you know The old man tried to walk me home I thought he should have known. Twilight, lost my way Twilight, can't find my way. In the shadow, boy meets man In the shadow, boy meets man In the shadow, boy meets man In the shadow, boy meets man.

There are some wonderfully awful lyrics in Jeff Wayne's unintentionally hillarious musical version of War Of The Worlds, but none quite as good as the duet between Phil Lynott and Julie Covington, The Spirit Of Man: Julie: There must be something worth living for. Phil: No, there is nothing. Julie: There must something worth trying for Phil: I don't believe it's so

Marc Bolan was a genius but some of his lyrics makes you wonder what was he thinking of at the time. examples: 'What's it like to be a loon and liken it to a balloon' is got to be the worst one. Then from 'New York City' you have 'ever seen a woman walking around New York City with a frog in her hand' 'I drive a Rolls Royce 'cos its good for my voice' (oh Marc why???????') 'Oh Deborah always look like Zebra' and my favourite from 'Metal Guru' 'I'll be clinging onto a washing machine' (as you do of course!) - although I might have misheard...

In "Leader of the Gang" Gary Glitter sings; "I'm the man who put the bang in gang" One of his lesser sexual depravities. [%sig%]

natural woman lyrics make me absolutely blow a big raspberry .... apart from Lookin out on the morning rain (Ah - ooo) I used to feel so uninspired (Ah - ooo) And when I knew I had to face another day (Ah - ooo) Lord it made me feel so tired Before the day I met you Life was so unkind But you're the key to my peace of mind it gets worse ... When my soul was in the lost and found You came along to claim it (barrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrf) I didn't know just what was wrong with me Till your kiss helped me name it (it's clear what is wrong with you ... you MORON) Cause you make me feel You make me feel You make me feel You make me feel like a natural woman (woman) good heavens i feel quite nauseous ...

I blame it on the boogie.

Surely Ringo Starr wins best lyrics hands down: 'I'm sorry that I doubted you, I was so unfair; you were in a car crash, and you lost your hair.'

"She's gone to get the cat in she's mumbling in latin" Billy Bragg Not sure whether this is one of the worst couplets ever or one of the best. To be fair to Morrissey, that line from Irish Blood, English Heart doesn't come close to be the worst on his current album. The first song on the album 'America is not the world' is lyrically excruciating from start to finish.

Had, 'Somewhere in my Heart' playing in the car the other day. Beth pipes up, 'Mummy, what's, 'baby being born to the overkill' mean?' 'Well, it's.... um... er... Oh, not now, darling, mummy's driving.' [%sig%]

Oops - forgot to mention, Billy Bragg, has a special exemption for dodgy lyric awards because of: 'I saw two shooting stars last night I wished on them but they were only satellites Is it wrong to wish on space hardware I wish, I wish, I wish you’d care.' [%sig%]

i love billy bragg ...

I can't remember who she was but she sang I don't wanna see a ghost that's the sight that I fear most rather have a piece of toast.... lord :-) In the musical 'My Fair Lady' there is the most brilliant rhyme EVER! It goes: "Every time we looked around, there he was - that hairy hound from BUDAPEST Never leaving us alone, never have I ever known a RUDER PEST" wonderful!!! On the topic of creepy lyrics, Bruce Springsteen was asked to stop referring to women as 'little girl' in his songs. And funnily enough NOT because of the child sounding thing but because it was considered to be belittling women. But actually if you listen to some of his songs they sound like creepy paedo bloke - not fabulous rock star guy - see below! "Hey little girl are you all alone did your daddy go and leave you on your own I got a bad desire Oh oh oh I'm on fire Tell me now baby is he good to you Can I do to you the things that he just wont do I can take you higher Oh oh oh I'm on fire" I mean the man is a genius - but what is up with that!!!

'He's got a big nose!'

Quite. Could be sung Terry Thomas style. [%sig%]

I'm sorry. Spandau Ballet has got to have the cheesiest lyrics of all. I LOVE singing along in the car, however... Gold (gold) Always believe in your soul You've got the power to know You're indestructible Always believe in, that you are Gold (gold) "Always believe in your soul"? What's up with THAT?

Don't go dissing the Ballet. Whole new world of pain.

Who was the bint who rhymed ghost with toast? What song was that? Certainly deserving of an award whatever it was. [%sig%]

Busted: Girls don't like boys girls like cars and money, Boys will laugh at girls when they're not funny. Is brilliant. I know it doesn't belong on this thread, but hey; I don't care! I cried when they broke up. [%sig%]

Busted: Girls don't like boys girls like cars and money, Boys will laugh at girls when they're not funny. Sheer poetic brilliance. I know it doesn't belong on this thread: but I don't care. I cried when they broke up.

I know of at least one crap Dylan line: "Her skirt it swayed as the guitar played - her mouth was watery and wet." Someone's mouth? Watery *and* wet? Heavens.

When you're Bob Dylan you can say what the hell you like.

Perhaps he likes sloppy kissers....