Errant Banger Poetry Prize
Mon, 2014-11-17 00:32
#1
Errant Banger Poetry Prize
Any news on the Errant Banger poetry prize awarded to works of 'an unusual metaphorical complexity that delight in undepilated verbiage?'
Are the Old Bangers still meeting in Cuckoo Haven at The Black Boy?
The prize is a weekend with the Old Bangers at Spartans Spa and Body Beef Up Clinic. The entry fee of 50 Euros reflects the seriousness of the admin costs and the maintenance of the village photocopier. Good luck!
I came second! My poem " Squirrel nests in the Salvation Army's waterbutt" was highly praised but didn't get enough votes. Still I did get the second prize. A jar of pickled walnuts and a box of used kleenex.
I didn't get short listed with 'Feel the Meat.' Too many meat references. Too self-indulgent. Far too much paternal association and the verdict was 'Depressing. Needs therapy not poetry.' The participatory prize was a bag of lean minced beef. Can't grumble.
Bloody funny Jolono and Vera.
I have always won, and will continue to win, the Errant Banger Award so long as I remain at the peak of my literary magnanimity and leader to the poet abortions that refuse to see their work for what it is. As chief editor and sole judge of this marvellous literary gesture, you must understand that, while I find it both hilarious and deeply upsetting that poets insist on entering, one has to show that one cares. Giving the poor dears hope, however futile, is the very least I can do. Now I really must take my leave from this bedraggled backwater. A large donation of offal in sawdust has just arrived from the local abattoir and the pigs are honking in my already delicate ears.
By the by, entry is £50, not 50 euros. Please make cheques out to Lord Effector (king of plebian poets worldwide). The closing date for next year's Errant Banger Award is yesterday.
Yours most humbly and graciously,
Reverend Rock
I'm glad the Reverend Rock can judge the competition in between writing the Parish newsletter and getting up the am dram group for a celebration of the work of Tinto Brass. I saw a sign on the beach near Cuckoo Haven and it said Beware of Dark Voids and that is what I intend to do. All the entries are strong but I was particularly taken with Lucinda Hedge Fund Lucas Tooth and her pungently unapolegetic The Persimmon Gatherers.
By the way The Lampeter Review is seeking short submissions (both poetry and prose) inspired by latin america and magical realism. dig out your talking iguanas. Details here:
http://lampeter-review.com/submissions/
My epic performance piece 'Bingy bangy bingo lingo' was almost highly commended or so I heard. I used all ninety-nine bingo numbers in a lot of sequences.I accompanied myself to banjo, ukelele and tambourine often both at once! I celebrated my near success by going to my local meat bingo and winning a leg of something that I gave away.
Talking iguanas? I'm in!
add a dictator with a foot fetish, a mysterious grandfather clock that houses an actual grandfather and you're away
I was section winner in "Unsupported Poetic Intent" last year. My prize was collected by a doppelganger who was later arrested for performing without license in a public toilet.
Parson Thru
Just returned from The East London Yodel Fest in which I came third. I yodelled Bachs entire works in nine minutes but the judges gave it to the frenchman Dustin Le Mantelpiece for his yodelling interpretation of the Black Lace classic, Superman.
I was dissapointed to hear that the closing date for the Poetry competition had gone, however I have managed to speak with the organiser ( Dr Jimmy Erant Badger) who agreed that I could send in one more entry. I have finished it and sent it off. It was inspired by you good people. "Bingo Bango the Iguana Tango" is on its way!
When we all inspire one another like this Life can be truly Inspirational.
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Parson Thru
Kachagoogoo were to shy hush hush eye to eye, which I thought should have done better than No 1 in the charts and won the real Banger award.