who is the poor soul who gave me a 1?

it's a shame people can't appreciate a bit of humour nowadays. especially such congenial humour as this.

excuse me for my drunkenness last night less angry than annoyed now

actually, back to angry again seems the same feeble minded pune did the same to the remainder of my abc set. why are people grudgeful?

richardw, I don't even have the option to rate my poems turned on. There is always someone that finds a reason to either promote or dismiss someone elses poetry. I have been on many poetry boards where it seems the moderators make a contest of who can write the nastiest critique. The critique becomes the focus, not the poem. I am a believer in, "if you don't see anything worth mentioning don't mention it. If, however, you see something worthy of mention build on that in your critique." A quick push rating button, really doesn't help me improve my writing, it just feeds or starves my ego. My advice is to ignore it, or write it! Bobbie

I am nearly getting tired of saying the same thing in every thread, but isn't it obvious that this zero-to-five rating thing doesn't serve any useful purpose and a space for comments is what we really need? Then people who wanted to be scathing would at least have to think of something scathing to say, and I reckon that would silence the most of them.

Richard, I haven't read your piece and it, therefore, wasn't me but I must say that I don't see the point of having a scale if only good scores are allowed. Surely an average score should represent the average and not the average of people who liked it. Admittedly it's as frustrating as hell when someone finds a way of saying they didn't like the piece but can't give reasons but it's still usefull to know if people don't like it generally. Maybe the low score was a genuine reflection of someone's views and not just someone being spiteful regardless of the quality of the piece, lighthearted or not, some people just don't get it.

I disagree, ely, I think a raw score (for a poem, of all things) is actually worse than nothing, and I think that the discussion in this thread illustrates that very well. All that happens when a low score is given is that the author is hurt and mystified - why didn't this person like my work? I would react in exactly the same way. But if someone said to me: "I thought your central character was two dimensional, your dialogue was weak, your plot full of holes, your spelling and grammar autrocious and your descriptions lousy" then I would say to myself something like: Okay, s/he's given me a whole lot of pointers to where I'm going wrong. I'd better take another look at that story and see if it's really as bad as that person says it is and how I can improve it." I might still be a little bit hurt but at least I've got something to go on, I can understand what it was that this person had in mind when they rejected my story. Just to be given a number like that is hopeless, I've no idea what I've got wrong in that person's judgement. Maybe they just don't like poems that don't rhyme or poems that do rhyme, or stories about Welshmen... who knows? Who can say? All they've done is upset me. Nothing positive has been achieved.

Is it not possible to get a rating or review from abc tales it self. If not then do you think they should?

the one to five stars doesn't give the option of opinion, it's just a raw reaction metre... and as for bobbiego not having their work ratable, that's so typical of the entirely precious self-adoration of the beat generation whom bobbiego so consistently plagiarises..

Stop trying to be an anonymouse @!#$, grief. You're a famous @!#$. Relax.

TO 666, Well did it come from here if it did apolgise Im in a Day centre. wasn't me. Someone else may have used this when I ws logged in. And the writeer if it was.

@=w ! =a #=n $=ker (invoice to follow)

No sweat, Kid. It was aimed over your head, further up the thread. It's a kind of soap opera. Grief pings in for a whine when he thinks he's not getting enough attention. He's been usurped by an omellette! Oh, the ignominy of it...

Geeze, I was just trying to help the guy out. Bobbie

you're absolutely right Sirat although it should be said that even when someone gives reasons why they think you're just one of the less talented of an infinite number of monkeys, it's still hard to accept they might be right. If someone says they think your dialogue is weak and unrealistic then you're not really likely to agree, Ronnie: "unless, of course, it is old chap" Reggie: "indeed, then it would be right would it not" Ronnie: "yes, I agree. Oh look, I've just killed someone". I think that any response is better than none and if a thousand people read your stuff and give it an average rating of 1 then it's time to say goodbye......so...err.... (ahem) good -bye.

*Jesus Christ* is this all we have to talk about?

Of course it isn't, David. It's just some lighthearted banter. Fancy a cosy chat about Torturing Tanya? ps Someone ought to fix that Auto 'Tranlator' (sic)

333 that would be me as far as I can tell. "What a loser number" is a statement not a question and I believe you spell Monty with a 'y' you f*****g halfwit and if I wanted someone to start personal insults for no apparent reason then I'd find someone with the imagination to cope. Otherwise thanks for a warm welcome to your world. Kindest regards Ely

Any response is appreciated, but not everyone who reads your story rates you. You could end up with 20 readers and no scores, so then you're even more mystified - did they hate it so much that they couldn't even be bothered to rate it? As the vast amount of discussion threads indicates, people love to have their say, and writers love feedback - let's face it, every writer has experienced rejection (sob) so we can handle some more...!

ely, Did you know that an anagram of my name gives: oui, me king - ely it also gives: minge you like. but the less said about that the better. Sorry if I interrupted your chat with e-griff...

well that's a bit more like it, if I'm going to be insulted then let them have a bit of effort about them, finding a famous name that contains mine must have taken entire seconds of your full and active life. nopt to mention using the anagram website with such aplomb. An insult should be from someone brave and quick not someone who drinks in the Scared Slow Cafe. I mean anagrams are fun even for those on the receiving end, I might just start using them whenever we meet, I can see the headline now, Ely Talks New Slant, I think it's the only way to get on your level.

I see the sense of humour by-pass worked wonderfully, ely. Now, what were you saying to e-griff?

yes, what happened to that ely v egriff conversation? here I am am, totally immersed in a bottle or two of jackla feet swear san nerf, and I can't make head nor tail of this alliterative cunninglingual contrived conversation. yours, floored, in parquet Stan

you taking the piss?

sorry Iamam, a llamallama ridden by kemalalala attaturkurk confuseded meme.

333 - what a loser number? anyone want 666 and the full monte? Sirat, relax.

been at the whine again grief?

I wasn't aware I was in any kind of chat with e-griff. I seem to be responding to Kylie and Hercules, neither of whom seem capable of grasping the idea that I made an initial response to an insult from 'w.a.n.k.e.r.s anonymouse'. If either want to know what I was saying then they could try reading it. Why e-griff whom I don't, as yet, have any dealings with should be brought into this, I don't know. surely, to suggest that he would hide behind such a pigs a.r.s.e of a collection of pseudonyms is insulting to him and all the other letters in the griff series. Hercules, that sense of humour bypass line wasn't even funny when it was new. Your purile postings are so lame they couldn't outrun a one legged kitten pulling a 747 up a cliff with the handbrake on. I laughed harder when my appendix burst. You make Arthur askey look like Eddie Izzard....... hey, no hang on.........yeah, got it, I hope you got a FULL REFUND........ get it? eh? "full refund" .......no, er sorry I haven't finished......."from the Evening school lessons in telling funny jokes"......HAHARHARHAR! ....killer man, killer, I mean WIPE OUT.....hey, er "ouch my foot is killing me now........from kicking his a.r.s.e!"....HARRRRRARARHAR.....oh, somebody stop me, I just get better, I mean that was just cruel......KAPOW!...right in the kisser.....no prisoners man, no prisoners, thank you, thank you, I'm here all week, please show your appreciation at the door....and for those of you driving home tonight, er..remember to.........er.................................to, er............................... .......... no I had one then, remember to........... drive carefu - NO!- TAKE THE CAR! HARRRRRRARARARARARRRRRRRRRrrrrarararrrrrrrrrrr.... killer

ely, when the valium wears off, double click on the red bit of Author: w.a.n.k.e.r.s. anonymouse. There's a bit of a clue in there. It ain't rocket science - it ain't even sprocket science. I hope the PMT doesn't last too long.

I know, I was making a point about him hiding behind false names: clue:- surely, to suggest that he would hide behind such a pigs a.r.s.e of a collection of pseudonyms is insulting to him and all the other letters in the griff series. by the way, it's "CANDYGRAM for MONGO" (before you reply, let's just assume you knew that and were also using some kind of irony) By the other way, I'm not on valium and, being male, I don't suffer from PMT (aah, wait for it, now then, is that pesky little Ely doing it again? you ask yourself.....see, it's quite easy this humour thing once you grasp the basics) Valium, PMT.....killer man, killer

You talkin to me?

Well I'm male and I suffer from PMT, so does everybody in this house, she makes sure of that!

I think ely is egriff incognito. could be wrong. but they sound the same to me.

Well - they're both quite hilarious! Quite good fun! Did you know that an anagram of ely & egriff is feely frig? Quite clever, what? killer! man!

I can state quite categorically that I am not e-griff. I am ely whitley. I should also point out that I am using a pseudonym myself, my real name is Ian Watson as anyone bar the rocket scientists amongst us should be able to discover quite easily. I use the name Ely whitley as a writing name and there is a full explanation in an older thread about names on the site. I never use other names for the sake of threads and individual comments and I only have one e-mail address. My writing is fairly mainstream comedy/drama except for the occasional short story or serious poem. I am currently writing a novel and most of my work is here on ABC. That's about it, I'm not really interested in some kind of keyboard war with e-griff in any of his/her guises but I speak as I find and can't abide snidey comments, which I thought his/hers was and so responded but I have no feelings, good or bad, towards him (or her) and I see this thread as light hearted banter with a very small degree of malice, certainly not enough to warrant paying Babs to go round and break his arms and legs, do him up the wrong'un and cover his face in Honey (this is a reference to a character in my novel and a cheap plug to try to get you all to read the chapters on this site).....and erm so, you know. There you go. Hi everyone my name's Ely and I'm an alcoholic.

Welcome, ely! You'll fit in well here.

Ta Betty, love your cars, love your clinics, looks like you've got the whole drink driving thing covered. I used to drive a Betty Sierra, I got it in auction for ninety quid.