selling your self

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Rokkitnite
Anonymous's picture
Sheesh... don't strangers romantically blunder into one another anymore? If there's one thing Hollywood's taught us, it's that you get the girl by knocking her shopping/stack of library books/bag of sex toys out of her hands then helping her to pick them up. Then and *only* then, does she realise how attractive you are... then it's coffee, second date, and all the rest. Seriously though, net dating? Wouldn't it be more fun to join some kind of club or something where you can meet people face to face in the real world? I'm not knocking it... I went out with someone who I met and communicated with mostly over the net... but there *must* be better ways. Learn kickboxing! Ya! Ha! Boom!
Sirren
Anonymous's picture
Ooh I wouldn't play I hate board games, it's bad enough having to do this for real without having to sit around with your granny and uncles deciding how many cheeses you get for a shag on first date. Yes Liana sadly I am shallow and go entirely by looks, which maybe why I am single, but at least I have had some really nice looking idiot boyfriends. (Rachel will testify to that, may have been her mates.)
fergal
Anonymous's picture
hopefully, god willing, you don't get 'any' cheeses for a shag on first date.
Sirren
Anonymous's picture
Sorry was I getting muddled with trivial persuit? One of the rules would possibly be no cheeses.
andrew pack
Anonymous's picture
Tim - have met in my distant past a girl through tae kwon do, which is sort of like kickboxing. There is a distinct difficulty in that when you break up with them and then try to attend the same class, especially when your instructor (who is supposed to be your bloody mate) knows and puts you together for sparring.
Jay
Anonymous's picture
As usual me alway behind the times as have only just seen this thread not that what I have to say will make much difference but do like to keep my hand in so to speak. So Sirren like you right or wrong, I always went for good looks and a mate of mine knowing this set me up with this blind date after showing me his photo my only fear was he was younger than me by six years but went anyway, to cut this short he became my second husband yes terrific looks fantastic in bed but once his feet touched the floor in the morning the rest was crap but then it depends if you think two out of three can't be bad hope this helps. What did puzzle me on this thread was the talk about underestimted and overestimated correct spelling because it wouldn't bother me or I suspect the majority if he hadn't been on master mind as long as he was normal with a certain amount of brain and could make a person happy the last being the most important factor...
Sirren
Anonymous's picture
I do a rusian martial art actually, and I do meet lots of men face to face, and not all of them when I'm fighting. It isn't that I don't meet men, and it's not that I'm a moose. It's just so random and I thought this way would be a little less so. But after 48 replys so far today I think I'll stick to my usual method of pulling. Rach you'll just have to get married again, I'm running out of photographers.
neil_the_auditor
Anonymous's picture
"he became my second husband yes terrific looks fantastic in bed but once his feet touched the floor in the morning the rest was crap but then it depends if you think two out of three can't be bad" Ha!Ha! Jay, you really should do more writing if you can produce gems like this!! The only place I've seen realistic personal ads is "Private Eye" and they're always from randy old men. Sirren and Jude, if I were senior enough to warrant my own office you could job-share the hanging around. Here's mine: "Opinionated, overweight Yorkshire-born writer with ginger beard WLTM broad-minded lady for erotic inspiration and possible socialist pilgrimage to Cuba. Must have GSOH when discovers self in sleazy stories, looks immaterial as I don't wear my glasses in bed. N/S unless you know a good dope dealer. Crazy bunny-boilers cautiously welcome as long as live well south of Birmingham. No Republican cheerleaders, trans-sexuals or internet Ids belonging to plants or animals."
Jay
Anonymous's picture
Neil nice of you to put it the way you have as there could be hope for me yet but really all I do at all times is tell the truth as I see it and if that comes out like gems which because I do love the real polished gleaming ones I'm happy with that so thanks for making my day...
Snowmedia
Anonymous's picture
Nat I can't help but think that kicking the shit out of a bloke might not be the best way to meet anyone other than the most masochistic self-flagulating of men. (maybe that's yout thing though). The joy is in the randomness of it all. I would not have been out with any of the magnificent girls I have met in my life if I had not left it all to chance. None of them were what I thought was my type and I am not anybody's type so sometimes I simply have to rely on my favourite two tools alcohol and an ability to put across a nicer image than the real me. MM
Ely Whitley
Anonymous's picture
overweight sex addict who's best smell is wet dogs seeks pizza delivering dwarf with own off licence and a gagging fixation. Looks must include naturally large breasts; flat head and very large ears, (one for hanging the ps2 controller on and the other to wedge the remote behind). Must find farting and low grade amateur attempts at writing extremely funny. GSOH essential. Please reply with recent pic. No time wasters or religeous types please.
Jay
Anonymous's picture
Neil I left out a bit please keep fingers crossed for similar gems to come up for me as Saturdays are always my horse racing betting days from my arm chair that is were I always am watching them run on tv and must admit get sick of hearing so and so horse came in last as that is usually mine but it does give one another string to their bow when ones legs won't let you get anywhere but even though it may looks like it i'm not moaning...
d.beswetherick
Anonymous's picture
I've never used a dating service - I suppose because North Cornwall is full enough of women and I'm not choosy - but a bloke I know in Port Isaac put an ad in the local paper, along the lines of 'bloke newly returned from Australia seeks woman who likes going to pubs and having a good time' and got 63 replies. So that summer all these different women were turning up, and he was setting the surfeit up with his mates. In accordance with the advert, they all seemed great people and a good laugh to have a booze up with. I'd suggest you keep it fairly open, without showing yourself up as too picky. I mean, you can be picky later, when you read the replies. Shared interests aren't always a good thing, by the way, because you might end up arguing about the shared interest.
radiodenver
Anonymous's picture
I dated a woman from the internet several years ago, she was an actress. I felt like I was auditioning for a role in her life. Turns out, she was a serial dater and kept a log book of all her dates, tracked their astrological signs and kept notes on her interactions with the different signs...Being a Sagittarius, and totally unconcerned with her horrific-scope fetish, we hit it off quite well, dated for about 9 months and ended up getting bored to tears with each other. I often wonder what she put in her little journal about me, but then again, why should I care either.
Tony Cook
Anonymous's picture
To go back a bit... No, I don't snore ... much.
radiodayton
Anonymous's picture
So, Tony...what did you do? Set up a recorder last night and record your sleeping and play it back today to see if you snored?
Liana
Anonymous's picture
Sirren... was only kidding about teh shallow bit. I am more shallow than most, in fact am thinking of changing my username on here to 'Puddle'. I have met people through internet sites, but to be honest you have to sift through an awful lot of chaff to find anyone decent ... you can't beat the age old way of meeting people though. At least when you meet someone through friends or in a bar, you know pretty smartish if they're ok.... have you had any replies yet which go along these lines? "Hi U look GR8. Wanna meet up? We cud go 4 coffee if u like." These used to make me feel almost physically ill... Good luck.
radiodenver
Anonymous's picture
Myself, I wouldn't go out with any woman I met in a bar. That rules us out Liana, sorry.
Liana
Anonymous's picture
*orders two dozen boxes of man size tissues*
radiodenver
Anonymous's picture
What is man size? (drum roll please....)
Liana
Anonymous's picture
well i imagine that the american versions are much bigger and better than ours, so i cant really say... badda boom.
justyn_thyme
Anonymous's picture
Someone recently offered to lend me a book written by a 67-year old woman who had placed an ad in the New York Review of Books that was something like: "67-year old female writer wants to have a much sex as possible before death. Will travel. Enjoys discussing literature. We can begin with Trollope." So the book is about her experiences with the men who answered the ad. The woman was either American or Canadian and this book was evidently a best seller in North America because the person who brough it to my attention just bought it in the airport somewhere in Canada. I haven't read it, but the premise is promising, one of those things that only works if the protagonist is a female of a certain age. A man trying the same stunt would probably be arrested.
radiodenver
Anonymous's picture
Ohhh, I bet you could say too.....badda bing!
Flash
Anonymous's picture
Flash
Anonymous's picture
Gentile and sensitive young superhero, tall dark, good looking, also invincible which could be handy. Enjoys poetry, flower pressing and crochet. Wears underpants on the outside of his trousers......also has a groovey cape. Seeks lady with similar disposition. No saddo losers need reply
neil_the_auditor
Anonymous's picture
I saw that lady being interviewed on the telly; the literature thing was to weed out the no-brains who thought she liked being CALLED a trollop.
radiodenver
Anonymous's picture
Flash, Are those underpants inside-out or is the little tag where it's supposed to be? "girls go for the tag out thing"
Tony Cook
Anonymous's picture
My wife tells me these things... She snores...
Emma
Anonymous's picture
I wooed my lover with only the following to go on... 35 f intelligent... That's what made her click... then luck came into it somewhere. It was the first time she'd ever been into a chat room, and subsequently the last... Bloody hell!! We still can't quite believe the process that brought us together.
mississippi
Anonymous's picture
Er... would that be 35 F (small body, big tits) and intelligent or 35 yrs, fucking intelligent ?
radiochicago
Anonymous's picture
Women snore worse than men I think.
dublindian
Anonymous's picture
One of the issues underpinning all of this is that quite a few women seem to have unrealistic expectations of the male of the species (and the same is true in reverse no doubt). There's really no excuse for this. It's now well documented what men are like and how your life as a woman is likely to be if you live with a man. If women entered relationships with more realistic expectations, they would be a lot happier and in some cases might end up being pleasantly surprised. Otherwise they might be better off getting a Labrador.
fish
Anonymous's picture
what if you have unrealistic expectations of your labrador?
dublindian
Anonymous's picture
a) that's impossible b) get a Cocker Spaniel
Emma
Anonymous's picture
Well, the former would have been lying...and honesty is the only way you can really get to know someone over the net. As for the latter, that would have been an exaggeration...I have no illusions about the limitations of my intelligence. Intelligent fucking sounds nice though.
mississippi
Anonymous's picture
hahahahha So if it was neither would you translate please?
Natalie
Anonymous's picture
maybe better to have a relationship with another woman then. Maybe same sex relationships are the answer if you go by dublindian's theory. I think even then one person tends to take the "male" role and the other the "female" so the smae problems occur. but then how dull would life be without problems.
Emma
Anonymous's picture
The 'f' just stands for female, Missi...ordinary chatroom etiquette. Don't you dare offer any witty alternatives to that...
mississippi
Anonymous's picture
*looks crestfallen, illusion of small body big tits shattered*
Emma
Anonymous's picture
But you've met me, George, you know my tits are modest...
mississippi
Anonymous's picture
Yes, but I was wearing my tit-enhancing glasses that night. They make all tits look bigger, that's how I know flashy wasn't there, he would have stood out like a gigolos dick!
Flash
Anonymous's picture
Have you got a mammary problem Missi........er.... i mean memory problem?
mississippi
Anonymous's picture
Both actually, I can't remember what a tit looks like. You going to the UKAdead do? (don't bother with the mirror joke, it's been done to death)
Emma
Anonymous's picture
Nah, that aint the answer to the expectations issue. As ever, it isn't possible to generalise too much on this matter. There do seem to be some standard issues, though, between men and women...but I think it's mostly down to the women being unrealistic about men, and men being inflexible. Same sex r'ships are NOT problem free...just very different. You can be free of so many of the man-woman issues, sure, and that's great if you are sick to death of them...but your gonna get a few surprises if you're a woman and start dating women. Dull - no way!
1legspider
Anonymous's picture
George... I think you should go... you could disguise yourself (dark glasses, long raincoat, hat), take a hidden camera... no one would know and we would get an inside story.
Flash
Anonymous's picture
No i ain't going to the UKA do Missi...but you should go a lot of people would love to see you i'm sure.

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