Mundane facts about your day

Any way! Some one on that other sight, "The one we would never go on", told me why they call you "The Flash Master"..

the bloke downstairs is selling his flat, so we're going to have to get used to new neighbours, after 8 years, he's been alright, very quiet, away a lot... i was thinking of trying to put off potential buyers by sitting on the door step, in a vest and trousers (no socks or shoes) trousers flying low, the mouse nearly out iof the house, swigging tenants super and yelling at eveyone who walks past the door... but then i realised i did that all of last week, and it's time i got myself a new hobby and hox needs it's vest back...

They're just jealous because i played beach volley ball with Heidi Klum and Monica Belluci...ignore them john they're all hot air mate... probably too much pumping pie. *sniggers*

it's vest...? once again, wishes there was an editing function...

Nippple cramps any one? Gets out crop and shackles..

now...what shall I get for lunch????

Just had a bacon sarnie.

am drinking water waiting for 12 so I can go off on my half day

I'm meeting me mum for lunch, which can't come soon enough because my hangover has transformed itself into a ravenous hunger.

i'm just off for lunch, and i have to remember to post a card to my parents who "celebrate" 40 years marriage on the 31st, also their mates, who also celebrate 40 years, they knew eachother then, and got married the same day, people had 2 receptions to go two, people were going between the two... we're off to see them on sunday, but my moany old dad, doesn't think it's worth celebrating, so he won't be getting a present then, and mum will, for putting up with the old *%@# since 1964 and i celebrate my 40th in 5 months time... medical technology was apparently vary advanced in bath in those days as i have been informed by mum that i was a premature baby

I'm in an email cafe. AGAIN. Woke up. Read the first half of 'An Artist of the Floating World' Wrote a 'Things to Do' list- 1. email 2. photos 3. Brian's present 4. Milk 5. Butter 6. Bread 7. Breaded Pork 8. Cheese? 9. Amend 'Things to Do' list Still struggling with the first one. Will slim it down to just some breaded pork.. and then spend the rest of my day settling into another new apartment (although this one is anything but new).. bollocks to decorating. So many mosquitoes.. so little time. [%sig%]

I've managed to put off doing three things I really need to do whilst reading this utterly mundane post. I will now go and talk to Fidel Catstro and tell her that she is annoying me by scratching on my office door. It will not be gentle. She will not come in. She shall not pass.

Cat is now in office.

I just read the latest posts while listening to the Telle Tubbies in the background. Started the washing machine.

i just forgot to put a stamp on a ruby anniversary card for my mate's mum and dad...is slim enough to get my card out of the post box?

Why do dogs wait until 4 AM to need to go to the potty? The lazy bums are sleeping in my bed right now.

meant to say is any one slim enough.. i am in a bad mood btw, got a shitty e-mail from my boss... now i must learn to strop, something i have never been able to do properly

saw a little mouse at the bus stop. I don't think it was waiting for a bus though. I smiled at it, but everyone started backing away from me not knowing why I was smiling at the floor. went to post office and posted my heart to another country where it won't be able to hurt me again. At least not till it gets back, should take it a while to find it's way back to me.

Now I'm timing the piece I'm going to read at the Eagle in Brighton tonight. Cat has left the office. Doesn't want to be in here now it's allowed in.

Spent ages booking a holiday and now it's unexpectedly five o-clock already and I can go home. Wooooeeeeee.

in email cafe in Juhu Mumbai, girl next to me wearing grey hooded top

we decided to have the dog and after a very long family discussion in the the car on what to call her we managed to decide on Capt. Mo Marley ... as soon as bert saw the idiot dog he demoted her to corporal ... the kids chased her round the RSPCA centre for half an hr and then we came home ... since then i bought some very expensive staples and left the stapler in tescos and had to go back for it ... the woman at tesco was disappointed as she had her eye on it for the office ... it's a good stapler ... does up to 60 sheets of paper ...

Had lunch with Beyonce...swam the nile after lunch on a full stomach...played beach volley ball with heid klum and Monica Belluci mid afternoon, came home and wrote a booker prize finalist before tea. then spent about an hour answering comments on my poem 'I wish whales had bazookas.' on other sites.

Flash said: "Pumping pie did it make you feel bloated john???" Well, Bloated John, did it make you feel??? Am off to buy a pumpkin from the market so I can make pumping pie too. Have got some cardboard left over from the last time I tried to cook something. Luckily.

Made pumpkin soup, which smelled VILE but tasted wonderful... even to me, who loathes soup. Anyone want the recipe?

aaah pumpkin soup.... the secret is to strain it through your vest. And add a little paprika. [%sig%]

Please, call me BJ. And no, I've never met pumping pie and I'm particular when it comes to my feelings. *Puts on mucky rain mack and goes to fallow in Flashys foot steps*

Yes please Liana. My daughter wants to make it, but i don't know how and cant find it in any of the cook books i have hear. She says she knows how, but then she always Say's that.

nutmeg

and?

Nutmegs to you too darling!!!

and carrots and sweet potato and orange juice and stock and cinnamon and brown sugar want the method?

Yes! Is that really what i have to use Liana?

yes... hang on, I'll copy the recipe here. (cant believe that me, an avowed soupophobic is handing out recipes for the stuff... but it really is yummy) two mins.

New England (whats wrong with the old one?) spiced pumpkin soup 25g / 1oz butter 1 tblspn flour 8oz pumpkin flesh, cubed 2 smallish carrots, sliced 1 sweet potato, cubed 1 onion finely chopped 1 clove garlic 1 tsp brown sugar pinch nutmeg 1pt chicken stock 1/2 tspn cinnamon 1/4 pint orange juice salt and pepper (cream to add at end) Heat butter, fry garlic and onions for 3 or 4 mins until soft add flour, spices, salt, pepper and cubed veges, stir and cook on low heat for two mins add stock, juice and sugar cover and bring to the boil reduce heat and simmer for 20 mins until veges are softened. Liquidise until smooth, heat through a gain and stir a swirl of cream in to serve.

Ok. Got: Carrots,butter:flour, sweet potato's: pumpkin 'bought fresh today', brown shouger, onion, stock, orange salt and peper. No garlic, no nutmeg, no cinnamon and no cream. "a visit to shop tomorrow" Got method. Thank you and will let you know how it goes after Sunday. *Me daughter will be so impressed*

OK John,er.. I mean blow job.

hahah yes she will... be warned though, it smells like soap when its cooking... thats soap, not soup. Keep the lid on and have faith, its gorgeous.

**sips tea** What a great thread **devours chocolate brownie**

*Wonders if john will need his chemistry set back, after making that Concoction.

1. I had parsnip soup last weekend and quite liked it. 2. My face and ribs hurt from last night's fight with a policeman. (rather more mundane than it sounds, we are friends, but sloe gin and masculinity got the better of us) 3. Now wondering whether Miss Wainfleet is going to be more surprised by me being masculine or me eating vegetables... (suspect the former)

just made lumpy custard with double cream and am scraping congealed bits of bottom of saucepan... yummy

Just ironed a shirt. I lead a full life.

It beats all that pumping missi and dos not require the assistances of Viagra or the Flash master very dubious forums??

you see we whould all love our mundane lives... i just had an eccles cake...

watched celebrity fit club. eat cake. laughed at the mirror.

He's your mate Andrew? I hope I'm not considered your enemy! I doubt St Mary would be surprised about your masculinity either, you appeared completely mescaline when I met you. Sorry I mean masculine, I really must learn to concentrate.

Must brave wind and rain for a trip to tesco express to buy more Rizla. Only five leaves left **enter stormy with revelatory Nick Drake connection** Must check for car bombs.

I've noticed that this thread is getting rather long.

Flash wrote: "Had lunch with Beyonce...swam the nile after lunch on a full stomach...played beach volley ball with heid klum and Monica Belluci mid afternoon, came home and wrote a booker prize finalist before tea. then spent about an hour answering comments on my poem 'I wish whales had bazookas.' on other sites." I find that highly unbelievable, Flashmaster. You expect us to believe that you visit other writing sites? Pah!