Cheese and Wine Party for Newcomers ...

hello egriff, glad you are here! We ARE nice, honest.... I would like to point out that i have never sewed anything since school, when my left breast got caught in a threading mechanism on Miss. Cooksons old Singer..... welcome in indeed Liana

Welcome to our little party egriff! Want me to sing my Whipsnade Zoo song? Or how about the noodle one? I'm always open to requests.

I don't normally smell like this

griff! .. you made it ... hoorah ... and welcome to all ... specially the new ones ... now isn't it time for a delivery from that nice KFC man?

How about 'The Hole in the Elephant's Bottom' or is it too early for that? (calls out from corner, looks down face reddening)

And the beat goes on. Emily, nice legs. Ralph

i thought it was a KFC woman fishy dear?

Now egriff, I thought GOT a cherry with your Pack revision. And beside that, I've all ready offered you a marachino. It came with my froot cock tails over here at the mental hospital. Really. You can have it. I've been saving it for you under my pillow for a couple of days. Here you go. Gnarrr...

it's not the gender of the delivery person ... it's the stuff in the bucket! and ari ... DO sing us a song ...

Gardiner - you're meant to be on holiday. What the hell are you doing up at that time in the morning? Go to bed and get some much needed rest so that we can overwork you again next week. As for naked Twister. I've been playing it for the past 24 hours - had no one noticed? Don't reply. I'll just carry on, on my own in the corner here. Oh, there's a board over there, is there? 'Scuse me while I kiss the sky ...

Ohh give us a kiss Fish!

I'm back...any cherries left? Any lemmingade? Oi! Griff! I'm a GIRL!!!! Can we keep this party running all week? I'm feeling up for some more singing, hey newbies, I do requests and pole dancing, welcome to abctales, you'll fit in fine. Cherries? Chicken? Lemmingade? Noodles? C'mon, I'm HUNGRY!

Noodles, noodles, I got lots of noodles, Noodles, noodles, I eat them for my tea! Noodles, noodles, they're no good for poodles, Noodles, noodles, tasty tasty treat! Noodles, noodles, I like eating noodles, Noodles, noodles, they taste best with meat, Noodles, noodles, I eat them by the oodles, Noodles, noodles, they're so hard to beat! altogether now! Noodles! Noodles!...

BEEP BEEP Sorry its a text message - should have switched it off! Oh good - yet another five stars! I'm happy now!. (races out of corner and over to table) anyone want a drink, and where's that bloody Kentucky Fried Cockerel person?

I'll have another drink griff (I can call you griff, right?) All that singing made me rather thirsty. Forget KFC, I'll make everyone cheese burgers. Or noodles, your choice.

Pole dancing? Now you've REALLY got my 'tenshun! Do you do home visits? Got my own pole ya see!

yeh! griff's the name all rigght! (oops, puts hip flask away and sips lemmingade). Noodles are great! Noodles are fine! If I ask nicely, can they be mine? What falvour sauces have you got. Who can tell a joke? (staggers)

noodles. ( a poem to out-weird ari) i immersed myself in noodles their slick beige tendrils not at all nutritious but reminding one of mother's flailing arms truth. noodles. truth so hard to seperate in the pot noodle i discern my own vortex of pain despair confusion and paranoia my screams quiver the noodles into the shape of a puppy dog look now they make the silhouette of harvey keitel with his clothes on for a change

I can arrange a home visit, missi. I think you'll find I'm very reasonably priced...I'll send you a business card, 'kay?

A book of verse, a jug of wine, and noodles, please.

*plonks self down next to hox*

(e-griff catches last words of ari, struggles up from corner where he slept last night, from under the same bench a shrill cry SOMEONE TOOK MY CHERRY! e-griff grins, continuing to the centre of the room) "so you're really not THE Ari Vartannen, rally driver" "Why do people keep telling me you're a girl, and now you did, miss agaony aunt? I checked your details (hence Cambridge) early on, so I know that anyway" "really, I need a shot!"

Noodles are just succulent doodles! (Declaims!) OOPS - there goes the old text messages again. Oh I promised to edit a story for someone! I forgot. Yesterday I got it down from 1800 to 1200 words - can I do better? OH excuse me folks (sidles off to corner clutching phone, ponders.....hmmm... I think I've got it - here goes..... RELATIVE DID MAGIC - OR DID HE? there - that's 6 words. He'll love that. press the button, send . Well, another good deed done! - back to the party. HI EVERYBODY! noodles ready yet?

...."a shot of rythm and blues - with just a little lemmingade on the side!" "any cock's legs left?"

I took it when you offered it, and yesterday I gave it to ari (plus lemming-fluff) maraschino's don't count! Iguess this party finished long ago.

griff, you're back! got any cherries left? I'll sing you another song...

*Swigs Lianas plonk*

"Er, no thanks mister - I meant to eat!" "O, ari - what's wrong with my back - I can't see round there you know, I'm not australian" "can't stay long, I'm practising editing (kill your...) " (sits on nearby pouffe, sipping lemmingade gingerly (or is is gingerade lemmingly? Too early to tell)

'Flinches' as Liana gives emotional slurred speech on the excellence of Bulgarian Red Wine.

lemmingly - as in the style of a lemming? Are you throwing yourself into the glass with wild abandon? And get off the pouffe - that's no way to treat the poor guy

'Well - he deserves it . he willfully misinterpreted the term 'cock's leg' and presented me with a lifestyle choice which may have seemed attractive, but was beyond his remit, politeness-wise"

Oh, ari - here's a maraschino! someone gave it to me yesterday, but they don't count. it's been in my pocket and there's lemming-fluff on it. it should only heighten the experience

*does zip up cardie count*

Haha..

Can we hear the whipsnade song now, ari, everyone seems to be going out of sync and we need refocusing! Sing it LOUD, sing it CLEAR, but not in my EAR! Miss Cookson's old singer? I KNEW him!