Writing Insecurities

My friend, you have just described me for the most part. You are, however, a fantastic writer - insecurities and self-doubt often come with the job. The only tip I can give (not that im in a position to do so) is to print out every copy of writing you ever felt a touch of satisfaction with; even if you worry over it now, set it out in a nice font and print it out. Next step, put it in a drawer and forget you ever wrote it (though don't forget the techniques you mastered to write it). This way, you can move on from pieces that you will otherwise fret endlessly over. Having said that, learning to recognise what is a good poem and what isn't is simply one of those things we writers have to work on. We just have to do it with an open mind and in the knowledge that every write is a step forward, never a step backward. I still posted poems on here expecting they'll be enjoyed only to find the poem I didn't care much for gets more comments. Things like that can shake you and fill you with doubt - but the fact that you feel so strongly about it simply proves how much you care.

Those two comments are what keeps me here and renews my faith.

You have to accept that not everything you do is going to be the same standard, Jamie, and if you post something slightly below par someone will surely suggest how it can be improved. You also have to learn not to take your writing too seriously, don't be too precious - some folk will like certain pieces, some won't - that's life. And if a piece isn't as good as you thought it was you can always change it, but never, ever delete anything.

yes! (why post'm, or why not, mayb someone will like, or not, mayb they are there for us to become readers of them, now, or in years to come, like them, edit them, workshop them, become fond of them, or bin them, delete them here, or there or not - make collections, let them sit a while, - but: back. them. up! -hard copy print, blog storage, and online wherever you fancy, make sure they are stored off your hard drive etc.) Yep -reckon we are all more or less a bundle of nerves!

Sometimes I write a piece, mentally axe it, transform it into the living dead and go to bed.In the morning, I look at it, eyes anew, blood and albumen still damp on my hacker's eyebrows and say 'Merry Shit, that's not bad.Who The Mother of Hell wrote that??' Writing is a sense of madness.We write, in part, so we can invite a connection or response from somewhere out there.I've been writing in many mediums for sixteen years.It isn't long compared to most.I've improved but there's never going to be a time when I rest on my laurels and polish the spit on my knuckles and stop taking criticism. Jamie, it is so healthy to feel a level of performance anxiety.Provided you keep generating work and don't slip under it.Stretching yourself still; without too many bedclothes on.Your talent is explosive, touch paper stuff.

Insecurity provides a sense of yearning for a writer that negates a sense of accomplishment. Much like any job you can never be filled by the end results even if they turn out better than you originally intended; which gives way for more thought on possible outcomes by going the other way. Every writer has a major flaw embedded within his or her nature. That is the essence of what makes their work memorable. Best of luck writing friend and never give up until its done. - Chinobus -

alt---each writer has a particular bend, a niche. Develop it, through re-writes---try doing so as an observer, a recipient of the poem's thrust, and an immediacy---then compare the three visions of the same subject matter. Everyone has to decide what they wish their audience to inhale. I like writing on the moment of activity. Do accept the fact you are a very talented writer, and if you wish to pursue a professional career, then DO IT. All the best, Richard ps. Know when your creation is completed, otherwise, out of control revisions will emasculate your original intentions.

Hmm. Writing insecurities? Let's see? I've recently started doing work on a first draft of a book, and it didn't take me but a day or two to come to the realization that I just about absolutely suck at writing and have no business putting pen to paper. Unless it be to sign my last will and testament. Then I go and log onto ABCtales to delete all my stories. Embarrassed that I ever thought they had any merit to begin with. "I'm just blowing smoke up my own ass," I tell myself. I sit there deleting one collection after another. It took me about fifteen minutes to realize that deleting collections from your account doesn't get rid of the stories. They're still up there. lol. Then I calm down and go to bed. I go through similar routines once a month. That's usually when one of the stories I submitted for publication is returned to me from whatever magazine I happened to think worthy enough of publishing my crap. It's been going on like that for the past ten years. So either I'm a real writer or I'm just a masochist with a keyboard. Then I'll wake one morning and the words flow from the pen and I don't know where its coming from. And it's such a warm and wonderful feeling that I know God can't be just fucking with me. I was born with this desire to create. Maybe I'm just not working hard enough. Then I resolve not to be so damn lazy about my talents. I tug at my boot straps and dig in. I know those bad days will be back. But, like flies in Summer, it's to be expected. My only advice to you would be to keep flexing your muscles. It'll only make you stronger. And believe me you'll need that extra strength to get you through the bad times. I truly recommend you forge ahead. Love what you do and dare to be different. Fuck what anybody else thinks. You know you better than anyone. And most of all listen to that little voice in your head. It's usually right. I wish you all the best, bud. Rich

I've been writing since I was a child. That's some 50 years. Throughout that time, in spite of some very early success I had the same feelings of self-doubt as you describe, yet still I had to carry on in some small way, though I often felt unsure about my work. And looking at the comments, this seems to be the norm. So, ALT, take on board the excellent advice above from people with so much talent, and carry on following your star, and use and develop the gift you so obviously have. Linda

So many of you have described me entirely. I doubt everything I write, and every piece of art I create. No matter how many times people say you are good if just doesn't sink in. The encouragement is good, don't get me wrong, but I hardly ever fully believe them. Vera, I always wake up in the morning and wonder who the hell wrote my words!

Me too. It brings to mind Stephen King's outlook, he says he has no idea where his stuff comes from and he often feels like a medium expressing someone else's thoughts.

I very rarely get involved in forum discussions Jamie but this time I think i will. No bullshit, you are one of the best writers of prose and poetry on this site. Please keep posting because I love to read them.

Or automatic writing. Maybe the soul of some sicko is using our typing fingers. [Speak for yourself Vera.] I still laugh at Vera - the screen name, not Duckworth.]

If you don't mind me saying, whispering from the back of the room, all the above know what they're talking about, and so please take their words to heart. Wishing you all the best .. Denise

there are children around here -we have age ratings to protect them from something or other -I often find that patronising to youth, especially reading the harmless content of some pieces rated 18 -no age ratings on the forum, should there be? - to see adults behaving in the ways I see when I pop up here often feels embarrassing -the nastiness I've seen over the years, the vicious tapping of keys swiping points, aiming to hurt, win, feel awesome, -disgusts me -i wouldnt want my kids anywhere near any of it - drunken brawling and I have wished I still had vertigo up here -it was the best disorder I ever had :)..however I would have missed a couple of good'ns - a.l.t., please start thinking about your very good influence on other writers, not just in your writes, but your perspective, how well you come across, the questions you ask and the responses you make - be a little proud, smile, you are an inspiration, and the way you go about things 'sloppy'?!stands head and shoulders above the petty, immaturity that I see online from people 4 or 5 times your age. You make us think, if we can do the same for you, good. Re The writes with no comments at all - the writes I dont comment on tend to be either mildly uninteresting or mildly mindblowing - silence is interesting, and assessing our writes, or others,in the silence, or noise of discussion is the most interesting thing - all insecurities, all our character will come into that process, because (as you said very well in your poem 'parenting') if poems are our creations, there is a birthing and nurturing to be done with them -glad you are going to keep yours safe.. 'like a clock maker who delicately strings together all of the parts to make one, perfect contraption. And you know, as a parent, perfection cannot be reached. But happiness can, even though it's set to take a lifetime. There is no punchline to this story. Just love them. Never forget that the experience is sublime.' (a.l.t 2013)

Of course, all the time, i always look at my work and think its shit. But it only makes me want to improve all the time. I think there's something deeply wrong whenever i feel satisfied with anything i produce.

That's common, Zalgradis, I think we all think we're crap.

Beauty of it is we improve huh, the only danger is letting it stop you writing i guess.