Gary Speed

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Gary Speed

I was lucky enough to meet Gary Speed briefly when he was still playing. I was really moved by this tragic story because it has such resonence for me. My father died suddenly outside my bedroom when I was a similar age to Gary's eldest and nothing seemed real for a long time after that. A close friend of mine who I knew was very unhappy, hung himself 11 years ago and he had two young children. I did not know how to help him although I tried. I spoke to the man who found him and cut him down, I cannot imagine what Gary's wife is going through now or his children.

Will we ever find out what caused this lovely man to do this? No-one seems to suggest he had any problems - he appears to have been adored. At this time of year when we are all getting ready for a well earned break and celebrations, spare a thought for this family and the world of grief they now live in.

Hear hear. If there is a God, then God help them and all those in a similar position.

 

Quite - if we knew he was depressed then at least we could have something to hold on to...

 

new Lavadis, I sent sympathy card,hiope went to correct church,said where they got married. yes, be a very difficult,sad christmas for all of them. Never will be the same,for his parent's Roger and Carol,and his wife Louise and two boys And his sister. Although never knew or met them, I was gutted! Reading all and seeing it in papers. And it all happened terrificly quick. So pleased now there is an inquest! Just pray. R.I.P 'Gary Speed'. julie
Alas the truth is we never really know the person standing next to us for sure, even closest family and friends. Gary seems to have been so well loved and respected that he could have received legions of help if only others had known. I suppose part of the tragedy is that he should have felt so isolated amongst a sea of friends who were obviously ready and willing to offer all the support they could. My heart goes out to his family and anyone else who find themselves in similar circumstances.

 

That is so true. I spent years trying to sort out my friend's problems - I even found him a business partner and somewhere to work but he found the bottle was his only true friend. The world was a pill which became too bitter for him to swallow

 

lavadis Yes I solely agree,with you. In paper depression,afte great' Garry Speed' Welsh Boss! Must have been great to have known. Get the paper and read more, to-day's always a cause. Always something somewhere caused it,I knew obvious, everyday coping lives situations. No matter age! Circumstances feelings. 50,000 leaflets been done for footballers. Such a shock to so many! Of course. He was so well loved and liked. In a difficult sport Have taken photos of t.v and paper if you haven't any,could get Ray to attah for you if give me your email. Want any. Condolences 'Gary Speed' parents,wife and two boys. R.I.P 'Gary Speed' suddenly taken. I just cannot believe,he did it,at all paper states mystery. Funeral is Friday La-vadis. Diana's always,was mystery really always will be,now making a film of her. Truth will come out on both, one day. julie cavalcaderl.x
Hello lavidis. I signed and was about to post a new tale. But after having read your thought provoking post I shall leave it for another day. It doesn't seem right somehow, brings a lot of things into sharp perspective. Kind regards.
ScoZen
Go ahead and post ScoZen - we are about moving forwards on this site and giving other people some light in their lives. One more smile than they would have had might be the smile that makes the differnce

 

New I left Condolences. To this great Welsh Boss and Footballer. Although don't follow football much. I cried shock for all and his mates football, all over the world,and T.V interview. My thoughts and heart, goes out to his wife and children. R.I.P. Gary. Yes,I know a few too! It is a split 2nd of something,causes it,when it happens, like this. In this world to-day. If only whatever whoever,can get the care at that precise moment. That doesn't always work either some. Build up of many many things of life usually I know we can all help someone,but we never know their,true lives. But 'Gary' Speed' there for all. The way it was done, is terrible. But we all have and are different personalities,and feeling so much. Thanks La-Vadis. Experienced quite bit. Day centres, the mind is a very complicated way all works,for all. Never know anyone truly! really. For help. cavalcaderl julie.
Thanks Cavalcaderl

 

As a Leeds fan I have to comment on what a great footballer Gary Speed was, one of the four midfielders on which the great 91/92 team was built. It was fitting that Leeds responded to Speed's death by actually winning a game for a change!!!!!!! By all accounts Gary was outwardly happy, was proving a successful manager and had a healthy, happy family - it just shows that what you see outwardly doesn't represent what's going on inside. I remember when my mum died I returned to work after a couple of days and I had three people come up to me and say "you look happy today". I guess I can understand why he was smiling outwardly even when he was planning his own death.

 

I remember when my mum died too.

 

I tried to write about this - linking the event with that of an `aunt' (friend of my mother's I knew as a child) who also hung herself and was found by her daughter....but so far I have failed to get it together. Too new and raw perhaps. As a Magpies fan, Gary was a hero of mine also. I can only assume he was suffering from severe depression and some people are very good at hiding it - even from their nearest and dearest. I also knew a couple who lost their son (early 20s) in the same way and they had no idea anything was wrong.
I would often reflect with a close friend of mine whose mother took a year to die from cancer that he had the chance to say goodbye when I didn't with my dad - perhaps that made a difference. My dad worked such long hours - 3 jobs, 7 days per week, just to keep us that I never got to know him. If I had maybe it would have hurt more in some ways and less in others. Either way it teaches us to perhaps be more vigilent for the signs and if there is anyone reading these posts who is feeling down then do not bottle it up.

 

From what I know working in a mental health charity, would be suicides often feel a lot better when they have decided to take their own life. It happens more to youngish men, as women tend to articulate their distress more than Men. If one thing comes out of this tragedy, I would like to see more help for men out there, and also a specific focus on sportmen. They feel the need to keep up such a front when they are actually very ill. Just ask Stan Clollymore. It's really horrible. RIP Gary Speed.

Overthetop1

I agree with everything you say Julie. We are a pretty sorry nation if we can't even find resources to highlight the situation poor Gary must have faced to bring him to end his life, and the horrendous time his family now face.We are getting something wrong aren't we?

Overthetop1

new Overthetop1 I absolutely agree with you. although don't watch football, much, and don't know 'Gary Speed' I burst into tears,papers and what said. And t.v all so quick! Terrible think a great person loved by all,and great Footballer and Welsh football boss. So kind to all. so many adored and ,loved papers said 'Gary Speed' R.I.P cavalcaderl julie.
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new Lavadis. H! You may know or like to know. A tribute song,to Gt Welsh boss footballer 'Gary Speed' at very Private funeral. Friday. By Stereophonics star 'Kelly Jones will be played at the soccer aces funeral. 'The Sun newspaper' states to-day in,footie 'Ian Kelly '37 recorded 'Andy Williams' classic Can't Take My Eyes Off You, after awful death of of 'Gary Speed' I am briefing, this, Welsh 'Kelly Jones' sang it on a tribute show to the Leeds,Newcastle,Everton,Bolton, star on BBc Wales- and it was a hit, has since had more than 12,000 hits on 'YOU TUBE.' 'Your too good to be true' Can't Take My Eyes Off You' etc; The Wales manager's grieving widow Louise asked for the song-to be played at to-morrows private service. A Welsh -anthem. 'Kelly Jones said "Its a great honour-I hope it is a fitting tribute to a great man." Leeds fan 'Kelly was reduced to tears,when he heard of 'Gary's death at his Cheshire home. He was consumed and couldn't get his head round it. I never watch football much,read all about this wonderful man,in papers etc; I was reduced to tears to. ESspecially conditions,found by his wife hanged, terrible. Wife found him 7am papers say,can't and won;t belive he did it? And took photos of t.v and papers. Such a terrible shock! to get it out my head a bit. 'Andy Williams' sung this song in 1967. We all used remember it a bit. It is beautiful, I must try and find here,somewhere, among other songs etc; maybe,songs of my time more or less then. and practice it too,amazing words love. if anything should be deleted please let me know, although never met or watched a lot of football. Read it all in paper, all so quick. after t.v interview etc; only about 18 hours later terrible tradedy, loved by all. His wife 'Louise, two boys,his parents,and sister I will pray for you all. The love you gave to so many. Always wonder why? R.I.P 'Gary Speed' cavalcaderl julie
Amen to that Cavalcaderl.

 

new scratch Lavadis. Well my prayer's answered, and tears wiped away! No suspicous circumstances. Now paper states an inquest next month Course must be.. Helps me with dream,after I photoed the photos and all in papers,stop crying, my mind went into like x factor tape goes along! jotted all down for me to keep! As drifting off to sleep! R.I.P 'Gary Speed' cavalcaderl julie x
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