The Art of being a Gentleman

Her:  Thank you soooo much for giving me a ride home.  My car was supposed (finger italics) to be fixed today but a part they had to order hasn’t come in yet so hopefully tomorrow.  It’s been in the shop like literally forever and it’s getting so expensive to Uber every day.  When they told me they had to order a part I was like seriously? You’re a car repair shop.  Why don’t you have the parts you need already (eye roll)?  Anyway you’ve saved me like soooo much time not to mention money.  Oh my God I am like literally starving.  But I’ve spent so much money on Uber that I can’t afford to splurge on any treats like . . . oh, see there’s a McDonald’s . . . I would love a quarter pounder with cheese but even if I could afford it I’m trying to be healthy, you know, eat healthier (I offer to buy her a quarter pounder with cheese) . . . seriously?  Oh, I couldn’t let you do that.  You’re already taking me home and saving money . . . (It’s not a problem) . . . really?  Are you sure?  I’ll buy you lunch one day.  I promise.  Thank you soooo much.  Oh, when you order can you ask them if they have whole wheat buns and low fat cheese cause, you know, I’m trying to eat healthier.  

My brain:  Do you understand that they offer salads and fruit cups too?  Even yogurt.  And why McDonald’s?  When any sane person thinks of eating healthy that ain’t the first place that comes to mind.  They’re not going to cater to your dietary restrictions.  You get what they offer as they offer it.  I don’t understand.  Who thinks I want to eat healthier.  Let me go to McDonald’s.  What is wrong with you?

Out of my mouth:  Hey, a quarter pounder with cheese, just the sandwich, please.  Do you have whole wheat buns and low fat cheese?