No one cares about your creative hub

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No one cares about your creative hub

In anticipation of the forthcoming Half Man Half Biscuit album, no-one cares about your creative hub so get your fuckin hedge cut, on 18 May, I set myself the challenge of writing short stories to the 13 track titles on the album.

​The full set of stories can be viewed here:

  • Alehouse Futsal
  • Man of Constant Sorrow (With A Garage In Constant Use)
  • Knobheads on Quiz Shows
  • Bladderwrack Allowance
  • Renfield’s Afoot
  • Terminus
  • The Announcement
  • What Made Colombia Famous
  • Harsh Times in Umberstone Covert
  • Every Time a Bell Rings
  • Emergency Locksmith
  • Mod Diff V Diff Hard Severe
  • Swerving the Checkatrade

The album will be available for purchase here:


I can see an eclectic mix here. If I knew what eclectic meant I might know what I mean. Good luck. 


I wondered about the title of that set of stories! Have you let them know? (I have a vague memory of someone doing this with Mary Beard and think it might have been you?)


I've posted on the fansite, but not contacted the band. I did a similar collection for their last album, Urge for Offal, 9 offal-related short stories. Mary Beard was the Other Terrence Oblong, he wrote a short story in which she featured and someone on the site was in contact with her (assumedly on a history-related issue) and mentioned the story


I dont think I will buy this.

Stephen d