By The Walrus
Tales about Brian Lucifer and family.
Brian Lucifer admired the burgundy flock wallpaper that he had just finished applying to the chimney breast in his living room.
Eventually he realised how big the cave was, you could have fit a few dozen cathedrals in there and still had room to spare.
“What do you mean, you don't like the burgundy flock wallpaper I've put up on the chimney breast?” Brian Lucifer said to his missus.
“Order. Order, lady and gentlemen, please,” Brian Lucifer said to his Grand Council of Demons, who were chatting amongst themselves and completely ignoring him. “I SAID ORDER!”
“What do you think of Swallow Cottage then, peeps?” the former Mr. Lucifer said to his nearest and dearest.