EB
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I have 29 stories published in
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My stories have been read 82553 times
and 37 of my stories have been cherry picked.
24 of my 448 comments have been voted Great Feedback with a total of 24 votes
Elliott Bradley
My stories
China Songbird - re written
reworked and reposted thanks to great feedback.
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- 9 comments
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- 2292 reads
Chandelier
Edited and reposted.
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- 13 comments
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- 4617 reads
I like this too, and get the
Posted on Wed, 01 Jul 2015
I like this too, and get the sentiments which are finely expressed. If I had one criticism it would be that for the most part, you lean heavily on alliteration, and near the start, especially 'p' words. Toward the end this evens out and feels...
Read full commentPosted in Surface Tension
Very visual and carefully
Posted on Sat, 27 Jun 2015
Very visual and carefully worded without waste. Did you mean 'your mayfly's dare, (is) to roam.' or 'your mayflies dare to roam' ? Wasn't sure. Excellent though.
Read full commentPosted in ‘Coming Home’
Nicely rhyming and not too
Posted on Tue, 23 Jun 2015
Nicely rhyming and not too obvious, with some lovely flowing lines.
Read full commentPosted in While you were sleeping
Interesting stream of
Posted on Wed, 24 Jun 2015
Interesting stream of thoughts. I get that feeling too. The harder we try to get it right, the further away from the actual reality it all becomes. But then we'll keep writing it anyway. Just keep going mate, or what's left? An honest lack of...
Read full commentPosted in (dis)Honesty
You make the scenery sound
Posted on Thu, 18 Jun 2015
You make the scenery sound exciting and enticing. Works well with the rhyme.
Read full commentPosted in Up to the Wind
Describes well a turning
Posted on Wed, 03 Jun 2015
Describes well a turning around from delusion using colour. The words flow like paint.
Read full commentPosted in gray delusion
With a longer life expectancy
Posted on Mon, 01 Jun 2015
With a longer life expectancy, more aging children will be caring for their parents. It's hard, but as you point out, there are rewards, and hopefully some welcome, if unasked for assistance from an occasional kind hearted soul who sees a need....
Read full commentPosted in Aging Carer
The quiet and shy have learnt
Posted on Sun, 26 Apr 2015
The quiet and shy have learnt how to brave and cover up their true nature. Most often we are not allowed to be ourselves, as demonstrated by the automatic derogatory reactions to sensitive personal revelations. You built this up so naturally and...
Read full commentPosted in Who Knows?
Every line counts.
Posted on Thu, 30 Apr 2015
Every line counts.
Read full commentPosted in An Uneasy Truce
A worthy subject,
Posted on Thu, 30 Apr 2015
A worthy subject, thoughtfully penned. I feel that the rhyme and jaunty rhythm detract a little from the meaning, and also not sure they'd dream of gingerbread, but a stark picture painted.
Read full commentPosted in Famine
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