Air guitar lamp incident
By mcmanaman
New poems, 2011.
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- 1221 reads
I was an idiot at that party
'Someone's drank my beers' a man who seemed kind said
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- 5 comments
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A secret something
It was like the two of us had murdered someone; I had accidentally tripped an electrician down the stairs and now he was tied up in the boot of your car.
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A sunny day in Bognor
When some people make sandwiches. they know what goes with what.
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Brown leather jacket
This is the jacket for you, my friend,’ he says and before I realise it my arm is at a right angle as he slips it on.
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Buying dishwasher tablets
But the thing about praying, they used to tell us at Sunday School. is that it cannot be selfish
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Rebuilding the woolly mammoth
there is something comforting about a warehouse space where a group of people try to rebuild a lifesize woolly mammoth
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She'll break your heart
Nothing beats being inconsolable seeing my friends worried faces, not knowing how to deal with me. 'I've never seen him like this,' I want them to say as I am writhing on the floor, howling,
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Some chips and a pint
he's not waiting for someone if he was he'd have checked his phone or watch or looked over his shoulder
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Holding a pair of last year's trousers
“That was the day I realised” he'll tell Matthew Wright on Channel 5. An anecdote about a patio chair snapping in two.
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Things are okay right now and hopefully it will be like this for a while
I make a note of another dinner party on the calendar on my office wall and look at the paintings
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Sharing a Jägerbomb
You can share my jumpers sometimes I'll wear your shoes if I need to nip outside to take the bin out
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There is something astonishing within you
I had accidentally tripped an electrician down the stairs and now he was in the boot of your car.
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The Apocalypse
That's why I've been walking up and down the road wearing my The End is Nigh sandwich board
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I wish I believed in aliens
I wish I didn't find it so implausible that a spaceship could land beside me on Brighton beach
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Milkshakes on Wednesdays
tomorrow you will be Batman and I will be Robin. The other customers looked confused at the sight of us in fancy dress lycra
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- 449 reads
Living by the seaside
This week I've been staying in a flat near the seaside
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Let's buy a pier
in fact when you told me the news it was me who bought you the Champagne
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The Cannes Film Festival
the assistant Director of Photography died in a warehouse fire last Christmas.
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Screaming our tits off
that odd contradiction of screaming your tits off with the tranquillity of breast stroke.
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Je joue le pingpong
I am eating a lolly with my top off.
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Shmoozing at an evening do
No-one really likes canapes
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The former president of the German Central Bank
All we need is a few billionaires to put their hands in their pockets.
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- 441 reads
Drunk Groom
as he was saying I do Gordon, a man with a van was moving everything to their new house
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- 506 reads
Tuesday was my perfect day
you spread out your arms and made the plane noise ‘zooooooooooooooooooooom’
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People get sad on holiday
dive into a circular swimming pool drink posh cocktails with bendy straws
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Two men talk about the blues
And suddenly Robert Johnson is in the five disc changer
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I'm sorry for mentioning how much you must miss your ex boyfriend
I’m normally good at these sensitive things Once I saw a girl crying on the street It was eleven am and I said are you okay and she said no
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Grown man makes new friend
Camra shortlisted Pub of the Year that is worth the extra walk.
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Must kill President
I have never assassinated before never even killed a dog.
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The man who sells roses has never given his wife roses
I was in a bad mood but then Katie sent me a photograph of a sandcastle.
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The 2012 John Lewis Christmas Advert
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q7Nz5PzDleQ&feature=youtu.be
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Holiday snaps
But in the canteen she is so happy saying: these are us the sandcastles we made
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Probably start a poetry night
It’s nights like this I think about Whitby. Whitstable
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Stories of buried treasure
The little boy has heard stories That the churchyard near the seaside has ghosts.
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Dirty seaside town
people who enjoy strolls round cathedrals and popping into antiques shops wouldn’t like it
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How do you go on holiday?
I guess you go into a travel agents or maybe have a look online. Someone you know might want to come along too. I guess either you've been saving...
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- 278 reads