I feel like zang

smeared words, fingered awkwardly

the hot air balloon

I looked out of the office window and saw the hot air balloon. “Hey look at that hot air balloon,” I said, which met a unanimous silence.

bad experience in the underpass

The group of youths encircled me, their bizarre collective deformities creating this lumbering gait, edging heavily back on forth on in-turned feet.

Davey Mercator's Incident

Davey Mercator watched a kid fall down from a second-storey window.

please take me with you someplace better than this

Jerry Mandible stopped the lawnmower with a sigh and, shielding his eyes from the glare of the sun with one hand, turned back to look at his bedroom window.

the lump

I gripped firmly at the porcelain surround of the sink. It was cold to the touch.

the rise of the ants

Because she really wanted one, and because I generally like to think I’m a decent enough guy, I bought my girl an ant farm as a present last Christmas gone.


Under frail skies it happened as all always happens, the funeral.

on the roof

"Suicide!" proclaimed an animated Little Rawlings, arms extended to his either side like a pyjama-clad Christ of the industrial roofways.
Story of the week

the animal police

Johnny Mondays was fast becoming the least popular private dick in all Norwich, and he wasn’t even a private dick.

feelings of scared

“We’d better microchip the children,” said Plummer – a bald man – matter of factly. “I’ve been thinking.” He nodded as he spoke in a way that was unsettling to focus on.

the boy

I met the boy on the burning bridge. He wore trunks and sandals, and sat on the red hot iron rail with his legs swinging slightly over the sides as though he were somewhere else.

the girl with hands like an alien zygote

There is a girl I know, local girl, with hands like an alien zygote.
Story of the week

Derek Obama, President

The two men, strangers, stood at the checkout. They weren’t patient, but had not been queuing for long.

the pink ladies

“I beg your stupid pardon?” he said, taller than me, his eyes narrowing slightly as though weighing up whether or not he should punch me.

my wife the psychopath

By cover of night she gets psychopathic, my wife.

the aviation museum

The affair started in the aviation museum, an eco-build of wood and glass that was conspicuously modern among the hopeless countryside.

the christian girl

I have been having coffee with a Christian girl.

different worlds

1. A Hand on a Guitar