Skype poems

 

Cherry

A system like the sun.

I have started setting my alarm for 6 am but if I slept til the afternoon no-one would notice. Yesterday I bought my first ever lottery ticket and...
Gold cherry

Little dreamchoke

I blame the positioning of my bedroom furniture. The wardrobe isn't where it should be and the bed needs to be along the other wall. I need to swap...

Noel Gallagher

You should watch the video to our song 'Whatever' it's one of our best songs. Back then I could write a guitar solo as easy as buttering bread in the...
1 likes

There's a lot of it going around

'There's a lot of it going around' I say to a policeman who is in my flat telling me the ginger girl upstairs has been threatened by an ex-boyfriend...

Sad eggs

Sad eggs. I am abroad thinking of all the times we were abroad. It's a special thing, going somewhere you've never been with someone you have baths...

101 Great Goals

The person you used to drink champagne with now cries himself to sleep and you carry on regardless. On your shelves you have two videos: 101 Great...
Cherry

The museum of the thing

'I'm thinking of putting my bed into the spare room and everything from the spare room into my bedroom' you said in lieu of an acceptance speech. You...

Nod your head when asking the customer what they'd like

It's her first day and she has already changed the radio station that plays from the speakers fixed to the wall by the fish tank, pantings for sale...
Cherry

A trip to the cardiologist

Pads pressed down on stomach flabs and told to relax and take normal breaths and I close my eyes because it might hurt but when the pattern on the...
1 likes

Setting fire to people and things

You go through life setting fire to villages then running along to the next one where you start from scratch and say hello I'm new here and people...

Follow the yellow car

"Follow that yellow car" I shout to the taxi driver and he steps on it probably thinking 'Finally I get to follow something. I've never done a car...
Cherry

Fat lot of good it did me

I packed my bags three days before I was going away. Passport in the zip pocket. No clothes or toiletries becasue I'd buy fresh when I'd settled in...

It turned out Izzie had an alternative motive

This is the problem with Izzies. They're a problematic bunch. I've met four that I know of plus an Isabelle who was perfectly nice and maybe that...
Cherry

You had such a nice nose

I used to have nice eyes I'd get compliments once a fortnight and I remember my dad once saying he was good at football at my age as we ran around...

My summer job was as a lifeguard at the swimming pool.

I think the two people in the flat next door are teachers. I see them on the stairs, a canvas bag filled with exercise books I don’t they they’re a...
1 likes

We won so we get to write the history

I recently saw the two history teachers from my school holding hands through the market place. Both of them long retired, trying on hats then looking...
1 likes

Time Out Guide to Paris

Next year I'll be the same age as Princess Diana when she died. I'm going to work out the moment I'll outlive her and if I make it everyone can come...
1 likes
Cherry

You had such nice eyes

I used to have nice eyes. I'd get compliments once a fortnight and I remember my dad once saying he was good at football at my age as we ran around...
1 likes
Cherry

Hot sad nights

We don't sleep at night anymore.. It's too hard, like sitting an exam you haven't revised for or your first day as a chef when you lied on your CV...
Cherry

The doctor is very beautiful

Both paramedics have muddy trousers from knee to ankle I don't know if they have spares in the ambulance, or socks you can't be a paramedic in wet...

The ceiling spotlight flicked on

You found her diary inside a cook book and now you don't know what to do. You knew she could cook but you didn't know she could draw like that. You'...

IF you fall asleep in your dream you die

which is why I'm always falling asleep in other people's dreams. I sneak in, unnoticed and climb into a bed. If you dream a train is coming and you'...
Gold cherry

Rules for game

I explain to everyone on the plane I’ve invented a game that can only be played on long haul flights. If anyone doesn’t want to join in that’s fine...
1 likes

Out of a lump of clay

I have been telling babies their manuscripts Will often be turned down without the first line being read And it’s hard, watching the babies...
Cherry

because you like horror stories

I have been scaring myself shitless every night reading lesser known Stephen King novels and watching 1980s Japanese ghost movies I’ve read about on...

Chas and Dave

Ayesha is from Margate but her kids have never been there. There’s never been anything to go back for but her friend is getting married so we’re here...
1 likes
Cherry

Dancing

We are only ever as happy as the last text message we received. The onomatopoeia of angst. Good dreams are on the top floor and we’re standing in the...
2 likes
Cherry

Rave's off

Now that most people use laptops trains aren’t allowed to have windows anymore. People with beards wouldn’t type so loudly if they knew their...
1 likes
Gold cherry
Poem of the week

Shopping with kids

Ayesha always went shopping on Sunday afternoons, both kids in the back. Let’s get this over quick as we can. She hates driving but needs to put...
3 likes
Cherry

Milk

She says she’s lactose intolerant but I think she just misses her dad, a milkman, who sat down on his armchair two Boxing Days ago and never work up...

Out of a lump of clay

I have been telling babies their manuscripts will often be turned down without the first line being read and it’s hard, watching the babies...

A head of dirty furniture

The for sale sign is in your hedge again The Friday night pisshead are always in the gardens Between the only pub in town and the new Housing estate...
Cherry

The foolishness begins immediately

We stole a police car on our honeymoon. It's something we've both always wanted to do. The first time we met, set up by mutual friends we couldn't...

Flexibility

The whole idea is to be sad for as little time as possible. That's what I've figured out so far. I don't know what to do with nostalgia I prefer...

What are electrons?

When our physics teacher died we didn't have to do physics anymore. The headmaster wrote a letter to the exam board. Equations still on the...

Since I've seen koalas

I don't call it spag bol anymore I call it spaghetti bolognese and describe certain people as the type of person who says 'spag bol.' She's been...

A poetry collection has to use the word 'water.'

Spooky Water Scientific Water Austrian Water Not My Water Cylindrical Water Waterfall Water Sunshine Water Bodily Water Secret Water Wellington Water...
Cherry

In the woods ... WHAT? In the woods!!

I actively encourage the recurring dream of a cartoon bear wearing my pyjamas. He's part of the family now. At first it was just a dream of a bear...
1 likes
Cherry

CRY CRY SUFFER SUFFER

Your next door neighbour's painted your house for free your next door neighbour gives you leftovers your next door neighbour has invited you to the...
Cherry

What were the skies like when you were young?

There is a disco ball so everything is okay no-one else is here yet they've gone for a walk along the cliffs, boxes of wine in their rucksacks. They...

Club Anthems 2001

So many things are replaced by jogging. All the Thetford forest illegal ravers are listening to cycling podcasts now. The last time I saw you was in...
Cherry

Bringing down the birds

I have never walked across this field before it's not one of those fields for walking across it has crops that are probably important but it's been...
1 likes
Cherry

Better things

The first time I told you I love you was by text I was in the back seat of a taxi with no shoes on and I could barely make out your reply because of...
1 likes

I called you on your birthday

You were in the garden. I phone to say how sad it was we couldn't all be there you said it's fine isn't it surprising what life throws at us...
Cherry

Is the local still the local?

When I was at sixth form We went to the same pub every Friday night The bar staff knew our names. Phil the Landlord used to make us sandwiches. He...
1 likes

It starts to form a habit

You order things online becasue you like pacakages arriving in the post. It's always the same person delivering. He's called Andy. He used to wear a...

This lockdown has made me dance

I heard someone on the radio say there isn't a moment when their hips aren't moving and I thought of the way I walk from room to room, how I get up...
1 likes

That would be a scream

Last night I watched a horror movie I don't know which one, I was drunk and typed 'horror movies' into a search engine and I don't remember anything...
Cherry

I already told you in the first verse

I explained it to you in the swimming pool. I don't want to have to go through it all again. Cycling home you asked if I was certain. A cycle lane is...
1 likes
Cherry

You arrive at the dinner party at midnight

and don't apologise for being late, you help yourself to a bread roll from the basket on the side leftover from the starters. A man I don't know is...
Cherry

We'll see you in April

When I answer my phone I have nothing to say and neither do they but it feels good to have my phone to my ear, like when I had a globe shaped pencil...

Fractured silly ankle

But let's focus on my good ankle, the one the surgeon didn't even look at I am touching it now and smiling, its tendons firm like elevator cables the...
1 likes
Cherry

Three key success factors for transforming your business

When someone says hi how are you? you should tell them about your drinking problem and how much you miss your brother. There's a photograph of him...

Cut my hair put on a shirt

You tell me about your previous client a regular, one of your first customers from 1999. You make it clear you don’t often talk about people who come...

Bang bang bang went the gunpowder

Everything is sad now apart from the happy things so I guess we can concentrate on those. It will all be over soon, a nun tells me, every day when I...

Sinister and bright over the land

You sold your house to find out how it would feel to sell your house and now you have nothing. The plan was to grow things but instead you're just...
1 likes
Cherry

Darren Bett

We used to go round to dinner with a man who collected weather vanes. We'd have big Sunday lunches there. He always ate at 3pm which my mum hated but...
1 likes
Cherry

Having a heart attack. Back home later.

This film is bad but I’m going to keep watching. People have been through much worse than this My friend is in hospital she had to call the ambulance...
Cherry

Stupid moon

We were there for the eclipse, people say sometimes when telling a happy story about a time they were in Cornwall or the north of France with friends...
1 likes
Cherry

Somehow the sea was always there to make you feel stupid

We have bought the campervan the only thing left now is the running away. The last customer to ever use the post office before it closed down bought...
Cherry

Like being in a snow storm without a shovel

I'd already eaten a big breakfast the day I entered the Coney Island hot dog eating contest. The house we were staying in had a good bakery down the...
1 likes