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My stories

California Diary 6

L.A 13th August 8.56am In the baking sun I had to go for a little walk. My heart was soaring, and I was smiling and crying all at once. I have conjured redemption. I got an email from Elizabeth. I spoke to her on the phone on Friday, you might recall. It was nervy and strange, but I was glad that I did it. I hurt this woman many years ago. Ran out on her the day before she was going to catch a plane from Hollywood to London and marry me. She sold all her belongings to get to me and I slammed the door on her through fear and self interest. I have carried that guilt around in my back pocket for what has seemed like forever.

California Diary 5

L.A 12th August 8.45am It was like Apocalypse Now, or that scene in Goodfellas! Last night, as I was trying to sleep, helicopters invaded us. They were sweeping low. There were at least three of them. Searchlights and everything. I walked into Paula's bedroom and asked what was going on. She said that it happens all the time, and it's the L.A.P.D looking for fugitives. I was expecting Jack Bauer from '24' to burst into the house at any moment and save me from myself.

California Diary 4

L.A 11th August 7.30am Ghosts everywhere and I cannot shake them off. Perhaps I don't want to. There is panic ensuing. Chaos at the airports. Rumour, then counter rumour on the radio. Out of nowhere the American flag is being unfurled on masts and in the windows of the houses of Madeira Avenue. We are still a while away from Labour Day. The fear is contagious and I have been here before, felt it and lived it at the closest of quarters.

California Diary 3

I've made a mess that is unfixable and now I have to simply give up. It's a relief. I'm too good and I value myself more than the constant trips to hell. Fuck it!

California Diary 2

LA: 9th August 7.15am I had big plans for yesterday. Was going to go downtown in the sunshine, look at some art at MOMA, buy some postcards and eat some overcooked meat. It never happened though. Jetlag and a dispiriting message from home bamboozled me. The best laid plans of mice and men.

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