iceman

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I have 194 stories published in 28 collections on the site.
My stories have been read 128545 times and 14 of my stories have been cherry picked.

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My stories

Nobody Cares What You Think

Nobody cares what you think Nobody listens to what you say The way you look Or the way you walk Nobody cares at all They’re all too interested in themselves And what they did

Love Notion Number 9

I can cope, but if I don't my world'll crack wide open revealing my ignorance, my inability to see things as they are not as they might be and all the foolishness

The Minkies

Captains Log: I have no idea what star date it is and I care even less. We are in orbit around another brown and green planet following a distress call received over the low alert frequency. Uhuhuh has tried opening our hailing frequencies and we have been swamped by an ancient Barry Manilow concert which has been out there for centuries. Plop, Moans and Slotter have been in the briefing room for four hours along with a tape of Animal House and a crate of beer which we picked up on our last port of call. At the helm Guru and Checkers are staring at the viewport through which even I can see the damn planet.

The Painting Of Florian White

"There's one thing worse than not being talked about," said Lord Harry, flicking an atom of dust from his highly polished shoe, "and that's dropping one's phone in the bath." "It is?" Asked Parsley Halfbeard. "And what pray is that?"

Obesity

"How's the diet coming along?" Frank asked as he waddled over to the cafeteria table at which his friend Lolly was sitting. "We haven't much time to waste." He plumped himself down in the chair next to Lolly and leaned back. The chair creaked. Lolly smiled to herself, and began eating the rest of her banana sandwich. "In about three weeks we have to be inside our official safe weight or else they will arrest us for being fatter than the state regulated norm."

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