I have 17 stories published in
one collection on the site.
My stories have been read 494270 times
and 170 of my stories have been cherry picked. 2309 of my 15,068 comments have been voted Great Feedback with a total of 2357 votes
2309 of my comments have received 2357 Great Feedback votes
1 Vote
this kept me glued to the
Posted on Wed, 27 Aug 2014
this kept me glued to the screen - what a fantastic piece of writing!
right, you have a fantastic ending with this Denzella, and your plot is really developing nicely. Again, you need to work a bit on the dialogue (sorry to go on about it!). Too much with nothing to break it up makes it lose authenticity
‘I’ve got a few day,’ - just that one typo, which should be forgiven really, considering how wonderful all the rest is - thank you so much for part two! - now come back to England again soon for one of the readings. I will make the sandwiches...
I haven't read/seen crashed, but I enjoyed this piece very much. If I had one small suggestion, it might be that perhaps it needs a little narrative linking the passages together - maybe some more clues for the reader? I hope that helps - do post...
this kept me glued to the
Posted on Wed, 27 Aug 2014
this kept me glued to the screen - what a fantastic piece of writing!
Read full commentPosted in Spit Out the Bugs in Your Mouth
I think the sparrows theme
Posted on Wed, 13 Aug 2014
I think the sparrows theme works beautifully - a very good piece of writing
Read full commentPosted in Sparrows
I love this poem, but please
Posted on Tue, 01 Jul 2014
I love this poem, but please tell me what a gont is - I have no idea and neither does google!
Read full commentPosted in The Gonts
right, you have a fantastic
Posted on Mon, 30 Jun 2014
right, you have a fantastic ending with this Denzella, and your plot is really developing nicely. Again, you need to work a bit on the dialogue (sorry to go on about it!). Too much with nothing to break it up makes it lose authenticity
Read full commentPosted in The Labour Planet - A Working Title - Part Ten - 1177 Words - Updated
this needs a bit of work - it
Posted on Mon, 30 Jun 2014
this needs a bit of work - it rambles a little - definitely worth an edit though - fantastic piece of writing!
Read full commentPosted in Upon My Arrival
well, this is very nicely
Posted on Tue, 17 Jun 2014
well, this is very nicely done - compelling narrative, strong plot, no waffle - I look forward to the next part!
Read full commentPosted in The Man Who Couldn't Stay Dead. (Part 3)
I really like the repetition
Posted on Sun, 15 Jun 2014
I really like the repetition in this piece
Read full commentPosted in Look Out
‘I’ve got a few day,’ - just
Posted on Sat, 14 Jun 2014
‘I’ve got a few day,’ - just that one typo, which should be forgiven really, considering how wonderful all the rest is - thank you so much for part two! - now come back to England again soon for one of the readings. I will make the sandwiches...
Read full commentPosted in Unbounders Away 2
I haven't read/seen crashed,
Posted on Sat, 03 May 2014
I haven't read/seen crashed, but I enjoyed this piece very much. If I had one small suggestion, it might be that perhaps it needs a little narrative linking the passages together - maybe some more clues for the reader? I hope that helps - do post...
Read full commentPosted in Falling
Very much enjoyed this!
Posted on Sun, 27 Apr 2014
Very much enjoyed this!
Two small typos:
"Uncle Gunder, a renown physicist"
"Sunday’s just got more interesting. " (unless of course you actually mean only that one Sunday)
Read full commentPosted in The Broheim Men
Pages