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A really excellent piece of
Posted on Wed, 07 May 2014
A really excellent piece of writing. The ship's world and the relationships of the characters are established right from the outset, I think that this is really accomplished. I don't like the omniscience of the seventh last paragraph but that...
Read full commentPosted in William's Powder Keg
Really excellent. Short,
Posted on Sun, 06 Apr 2014
Really excellent. Short, pithy and encapsulates some of the universal truths of love's fallen hope. Well done.
Read full commentPosted in Dining with you
Absolutely made me laugh not
Posted on Mon, 03 Mar 2014
Absolutely made me laugh not just smile. I agree with the above comment concerning the comma. Excellent stuff.
Read full commentPosted in The Golden Spoon Award
Could really picture the
Posted on Fri, 21 Feb 2014
Could really picture the sword fighting drills scene. Well done.
Read full commentPosted in Tales of Ancient Rome: Salidia and Lydia Chapter 6
Glad that you didn't get too
Posted on Thu, 20 Feb 2014
Glad that you didn't get too explicit with the torture scene, omission heightens the effect.
Read full commentPosted in Tales of Ancient Rome: Salidia and Lydia Chapter 4
Surprised that this poem hasn
Posted on Fri, 21 Feb 2014
Surprised that this poem hasn't garnered a few more comments David, I really like it. Written with a simplicity that augments it and that in itself is a mark of quality. This is the first of yours that I have read (I think) but it won't be the...
Read full commentPosted in Listen
Another good episode. A typo
Posted on Thu, 20 Feb 2014
Another good episode. A typo to consider:
"and then the guy just feel (fell) down".
Read full commentPosted in Tales of Ancient Rome: Salidia and Lydia Chapter 2
I think that this is very
Posted on Wed, 19 Feb 2014
I think that this is very readable. Ease back on the literal, for example:
"In a few heart beats he was on the ground dead and she was standing over him, glaring down in hatred at him"
the "in hatred" is completely...
Read full commentPosted in Tales of Ancient Rome: Lions in the Valley
But who is he?
Posted on Mon, 17 Feb 2014
But who is he?
Good poem Leanne.
Read full commentPosted in Happy Camper
A fantastic travelogue made
Posted on Mon, 10 Feb 2014
A fantastic travelogue made fascinating by the description of of the effects of cultural perception. I hope that there is a second part to come that puts us 'in country' alongside of you. This is a very good piece of writing Tina, more please...
Read full commentPosted in 7 days in Tehran
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