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StoryDwellers of the New World Chapter Thirteen ( Pt 12 ) A Discovery Is Made skinner_jennifer611 months 4 weeks ago
StoryDwellers of the New World Chapter Twelve ( Pt 5 ) The Wait skinner_jennifer1111 months 4 weeks ago
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204 of my comments have received 222 Great Feedback votes

11 Votes

Comments

Posted on Wed, 06 Aug 2014

I cannot over stress the importance of commenting on other writers' work.  The benefits aren't just the obvious ones of providing feedback and recieving reciprocal comments yourself.  The hidden benefit is that your own writing standard will...

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Posted in Dust

3 Votes

Good

Posted on Sat, 15 Aug 2015

Well if this is your first poem you've got real potential as your experience and practise grows. I really quite like this piece although romance poetry is not something that I would actively seek out.  A couple of observations if I may?

...

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Posted in first poem not great

2 Votes

A column of comments is often

Posted on Thu, 25 Sep 2014

A column of comments is often a barometer of the talent of the writer and the quality of their submissions.  I'd like to add to the column.  I missed this one Philip, don't quite know how.

I like the whole thing but especially the simple...

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Posted in Smoke

2 Votes

I'd like to see the first

Posted on Sat, 06 Sep 2014

I'd like to see the first stanza given a looking at.  Make the sting and the urgency that lives in this great poem hit right from the start.  Very excellent nonetheless.  Congratulations on the pick.

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Posted in Time-Lined

2 Votes

Edit Suggestions

Posted on Wed, 06 Aug 2014

I like the opening sentence - straight into the action with no spoiling preamble.  I'm less keen on the way that Ahora 'deemed' it to be 'of sufficient width' I get that you are trying to instil an aura of other...

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Posted in Under the Ice (2)

2 Votes

Ok

Posted on Sun, 06 Jul 2014

Your writing is convincing and packed with intrigue and excitement.  

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Posted in Chapter One: The Old Compton Street Murder

2 Votes

A second piece from you - a

Posted on Sat, 08 Feb 2014

A second piece from you - a poem this time and a damn fine one it is too.  There is lots to like in this and I particularly admire the soundless feet image.

However the whole is greater than its parts and all that.  

That you have...

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Posted in The Acrobat

2 Votes

I love this!  Welcome to

Posted on Sun, 02 Feb 2014

I love this!  Welcome to ABCtales Tina.  Can't wait to read more..

Now, I've read it a few times and with each read I have liked it more.  There is a lot going on here.  A fragmented mind at work in terms of the poetic narrative perhaps.  ...

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Posted in DRIP

2 Votes

"nicotine tarred  walls(.)

Posted on Wed, 08 Jan 2014

"nicotine tarred  walls(.)  Many of the patients"

"that wouldn’t meet my eye, or look at me."  If she wouldn't meet your eye then we know she couldn't look?

"The walls were a sickly mildew green and (the) radiator"

"ward...

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Posted in school photos 36

2 Votes

I just delivered an Angel

Posted on Fri, 13 Dec 2013

I just delivered an Angel Gabriel costume to school for my son (see left) despite me being a born again atheist.  He has been revelling in his new found God-given super powers that include balls of powerful light that he can throw at enemies and...

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Posted in Julian Asks About The Nativity Play ( Christmas Special)

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