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I think that this is very
Posted on Wed, 19 Feb 2014
I think that this is very readable. Ease back on the literal, for example:
"In a few heart beats he was on the ground dead and she was standing over him, glaring down in hatred at him"
the "in hatred" is completely...
Read full commentPosted in Tales of Ancient Rome: Lions in the Valley
But who is he?
Posted on Mon, 17 Feb 2014
But who is he?
Good poem Leanne.
Read full commentPosted in Happy Camper
A fantastic travelogue made
Posted on Mon, 10 Feb 2014
A fantastic travelogue made fascinating by the description of of the effects of cultural perception. I hope that there is a second part to come that puts us 'in country' alongside of you. This is a very good piece of writing Tina, more please...
Read full commentPosted in 7 days in Tehran
This episode reminds me why I
Posted on Tue, 11 Feb 2014
This episode reminds me why I'm stupid not to keep up with you as you post them.
I too love the last paragraph - one of the best I've read in a long time but it's not just that last bit, the whole thing is good.
As always your...
Read full commentPosted in school photos 46
And it remains to this day
Posted on Thu, 06 Feb 2014
And it remains to this day one of the most disgraceful episodes of British colonialism among the litany of hundreds if not thousands of others. Not in my name.
Read full commentPosted in Diego Garcia U.S. dishonourable Army base
Damn fine poem. Damn fine.
Posted on Fri, 31 Jan 2014
Damn fine poem. Damn fine.
Read full commentPosted in For Twilight is softly slow breathing
Hey Julian! That's better.
Posted on Tue, 21 Jan 2014
Hey Julian! That's better. It's a good poem. I like the cheeky rhyme and the insouciance of the piece. If I've misinterpreted I apologise.
Welcome to ABCtales.
Read full commentPosted in Letter to a friend
Hi Julian. Welcome.
Posted on Tue, 21 Jan 2014
Hi Julian. Welcome.
Just a technical prompt if you don't mind? You have posted your piece on your 'Front Page' rather than in a collection as it were. I know that it takes a bit of getting used to but where we are writing now is where...
Read full commentPosted in Poem to a friend
When dream sequences turn up
Posted on Thu, 16 Jan 2014
When dream sequences turn up I usually hunker down and wait for them to finish, but not with this one.
I thought it to be pitched perfectly between real, eyes-wide-open cogency and the most awful Bedlam. Stomach churning and with the...
Read full commentPosted in school photos 42
Some very minor typo
Posted on Fri, 17 Jan 2014
Some very minor typo alterations to consider?
"Eddie massaged his temples (temple) and sipped at the tall latte in the cardboard cup." The pedant in me says that he couldn't massage his temples (it would take both hands - unless his hands...
Read full commentPosted in New Year's Day
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