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Excellent Taris
Posted on Thu, 10 Jul 2014
Feelings and sentiments powerfully expressed in this really neat poem. I think that you have used the repetion of 'you weren't in the mood' to very great effect. Well done to keep with that theme and trend, that show confidence and conviction...
Read full commentPosted in That One Phone Call
8-))
Posted on Wed, 09 Jul 2014
Wish my teachers had been like that instead of being complete fails (apart from one).
Read full commentPosted in Creative Minds!!
Sorry!
Posted on Sun, 06 Jul 2014
Do you mind saying how old you are? This Jack the Ripper pastiche is excellent by the way.
Read full commentPosted in Chapter One: The Old Compton Street Murder
Only you Lavadis, can write
Posted on Sat, 05 Jul 2014
Only you Lavadis, can write like this. Brilliant.
An edit to consider?:
"This (is) my childhood dad,” said Daniel"
Read full commentPosted in ex - I'm every woman
Absolutely f*<}|^g brilliant.
Posted on Tue, 01 Jul 2014
Absolutely f*<}|^g brilliant.
This is ace.
Read full commentPosted in The Gonts
Good
Posted on Sun, 29 Jun 2014
Again slick and confident prose. Perhaps consider tidying up the first three or four sentences? There is some word repetition and it is a little clunky which is at odds with all that follows. Just my opinion of course.
Read full commentPosted in 4. Mr Jordan LLC and Two Visits to the Same Joint
Ha!
Posted on Sun, 29 Jun 2014
A good twist right at the end. Well done Daveking71.
Read full commentPosted in Bathroom Ghost
A Surprise!
Posted on Fri, 27 Jun 2014
I wasn't expecting prose Tina so it's a surprise and a welcome one too. I'd like you to use the full width of the page more often lol.
Read full commentPosted in Fergal's Wake (I.P.)
Palpable Tension
Posted on Wed, 25 Jun 2014
This continues to be pacey. I like the balance between dialogue and description, I think that in this particular episode you have got it pretty much spot on. Just be a little more aware of the action/reaction tags:
"Oldcastle marched...
Read full commentPosted in The Labour Planet - A Working Title - Part Nine 1010 words
8**(
Posted on Fri, 27 Jun 2014
Awful first memory. So sorry.
Read full commentPosted in Walking Thru Shards Of Glass
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