scratch

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I have 0 stories published in 2 collections on the site.
My stories have been read times 204 of my 4,692 comments have been voted Great Feedback with a total of 223 votes

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204 of my comments have received 223 Great Feedback votes

1 Vote

I just want to say

Posted on Thu, 09 Oct 2014

I just want to say congratulations on your 800th cherry pick!  As far as I know that is an unprecedented achievement Tina.

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Posted in Albatross

1 Vote

Good

Posted on Thu, 09 Oct 2014

Would benefit from a few minutes spent formatting the dialogue section in particularly but it's a very good start and there's a distinctive voice to be found in the rendering of this post-apocalyptic parish.  Well done Ewan.

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Posted in A Canticle on Gadarene

1 Vote

"hovers over head (overhead)

Posted on Mon, 06 Oct 2014

Strong feeling communicated well.  The anxiety at the end is almost palpable.  Excellent actually.

I'm uncertain about using "It's" at the start of the second stanza.  In my opinion it lends an unecessary ambiguity - do the minutes belong...

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Posted in Pain Killer

1 Vote

Oh yes.  Very good.  I agree

Posted on Thu, 02 Oct 2014

Oh yes.  Very good.  I agree with Mark about wanting to know more.  Action characters and character development and smooth dialogue.

Not keen on 'futilely' as an adverb (don't like adverbs period actually) that one definitely needs to go...

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Posted in The Distance Between Them

1 Vote

Very good turn around with

Posted on Mon, 29 Sep 2014

Very good turn around with the start of the letter writing.  Well done and welcome.

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Posted in Abomination

1 Vote

You have a good world

Posted on Tue, 16 Sep 2014

You have a good world developing here (I have read all three) full of vivid images and written up with confidence.  It's obvious that you are enjoying this story as am I.  Hold back a bit on the reaction tags:

"looking down at the red...

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Posted in Progeniture, Ch. 3

1 Vote

No, you are absolutely right

Posted on Tue, 16 Sep 2014

No, you are absolutely right to have tagged it 'Young Writer' Joshua, that is exactly what it is for.  I questioned it because this is such a surprisingly accomplished piece of work from a young person.  I hope that doesn't sound patronising, it'...

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Posted in Back In Little League

1 Vote

Like the assonance and the

Posted on Sun, 14 Sep 2014

Like the assonance and the alliteration very much Bee.  That, allied with the theme brings a particular feeling to this which I like very much.  Well done.

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Posted in You Said

1 Vote

Love that song and loved that

Posted on Thu, 11 Sep 2014

Love that song and loved that advert too.  Good one Alfie.

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Posted in The Most Amazing Gorilla

1 Vote

I agree that she would be a

Posted on Tue, 09 Sep 2014

I agree that she would be a person that is likely to speak in cliched terms and would probably have a few (hidden) copies of Hello magazine somewhere in the house.  

You have to be so careful that you don't let yourself fall into...

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Posted in Name Tag

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