204 of my comments have received 222 Great Feedback votes
This is almost technically
Posted on Wed, 26 Nov 2014
This is almost technically flawless. Really strong narrative that put me right in the place.
Perhaps consider the action tag here:
"Of the friend of my childhood, my strong right arm. See here.’ Alexander indicates the body...Read full comment
Posted in The Garden of The Gods
Posted on Thu, 09 Oct 2014
Would benefit from a few minutes spent formatting the dialogue section in particularly but it's a very good start and there's a distinctive voice to be found in the rendering of this post-apocalyptic parish. Well done Ewan.Read full comment
Posted in A Canticle on Gadarene
"hovers over head (overhead)
Posted on Mon, 06 Oct 2014
Strong feeling communicated well. The anxiety at the end is almost palpable. Excellent actually.
I'm uncertain about using "It's" at the start of the second stanza. In my opinion it lends an unecessary ambiguity - do the minutes belong...Read full comment
Posted in Pain Killer