205 of my comments have received 224 Great Feedback votes
This is really good kilb.
Posted on Tue, 16 Dec 2014
So good this. Maybe a tiny dip towards the last bit. I'm all for lightness and brevity but maybe a few words extra to oil the changes (After he’d washed his hands Dougie-boy muttered: “See you later” and left.).
This is me...Read full comment
Posted on Thu, 11 Dec 2014
Klep (tomaniac?) seems tormented and driven. I hope that these monsters that he's creating are ultimately found to possess enduring goodness despite such horrific physiological and spiritual alchemy that he has imposed. Then again I'm...Read full comment
Posted in Shadow Cooking
Smooth and, as far as I can
Posted on Tue, 09 Dec 2014
Smooth and as far as I can see flawlessly written. Is this the start of something longer? There are four characters already, discounting Hamzas' line manager and that suggests this is going to run.Read full comment
This is almost technically
Posted on Wed, 26 Nov 2014
This is almost technically flawless. Really strong narrative that put me right in the place.
Perhaps consider the action tag here:
"Of the friend of my childhood, my strong right arm. See here.’ Alexander indicates the body...Read full comment
Posted in The Garden of The Gods