205 of my comments have received 223 Great Feedback votes
Posted on Sat, 31 Jan 2015
I love that you are writing this Jake. There's action, feeling, conflict and a little bit of very tactful sensuality. I know that you are commited to this and good on you for it, see it through until the end and when it's finished...Read full comment
Posted in Luck (part I)
I would recommend that the
Posted on Sun, 04 Jan 2015
I would recommend that the comma in the first line and the full stop at the end should go, as should the hyphen in the ninth line. A change of the enjambment there, in the ninth line, giving 'body of many parts' its own seperate line...Read full comment
Posted in The City Lives
I met someone that attempted
Posted on Sat, 20 Dec 2014
I met someone that attempted suicice by jumping from a motorway bridge. He got it wrong. How so? he went through the windshield of an oncoming lorry, killed the driver and became quadriplegic himself in the process.
The other patients...Read full comment
Posted in How to Kill Yourself
This is really good kilb.
Posted on Tue, 16 Dec 2014
So good this. Maybe a tiny dip towards the last bit. I'm all for lightness and brevity but maybe a few words extra to oil the changes (After he’d washed his hands Dougie-boy muttered: “See you later” and left.).
This is me...Read full comment