205 of my comments have received 223 Great Feedback votes
"The fresh-faced rookie cop
Posted on Tue, 03 Dec 2013
"The fresh-faced rookie cop edged his polished toe-cap away from the blood oozing out the body at their feet."
There's your first line right there. Juggle the first paragraph round and make it grab harder.
"The cops...Read full comment
Posted in The Rookie
Welcome to ABCtales.
Posted on Thu, 29 Oct 2015
This is a good start. I like this old man and this life apart from things. The way you have drawn him invests a character that knows much more and much less than others might give him credit for. I love his setting and the...Read full comment
A very realistic opening
Posted on Wed, 07 Oct 2015
A very realistic opening scene that commited me to the read well done. A couple of points to consider:
'the bed eking (leaking?) wires' 'Eking' refers to making something last longer than it might.
'haul himself into a seating (...Read full comment
Posted in The Mezzotint Chapter 9 The Mezzotint