203 of my comments have received 221 Great Feedback votes
When dream sequences turn up
Posted on Thu, 16 Jan 2014
When dream sequences turn up I usually hunker down and wait for them to finish, but not with this one.
I thought it to be pitched perfectly between real, eyes-wide-open cogency and the most awful Bedlam. Stomach churning and with the...Read full comment
Posted in school photos 42
Some very minor typo
Posted on Fri, 17 Jan 2014
Some very minor typo alterations to consider?
"Eddie massaged his temples (temple) and sipped at the tall latte in the cardboard cup." The pedant in me says that he couldn't massage his temples (it would take both hands - unless his hands...Read full comment
Posted in New Year's Day
Good one. Could do with a
Posted on Sun, 05 Jan 2014
Good one. Could do with a little edit where the prose and sentiment clash a little. Here perhaps:
"that’s what’s consuming your entire personage" delete 'entire personage' in my opinion. There are a couple of others too. Good...Read full comment
Posted in In the flash of an open smile
As always a pleasure to read
Posted on Thu, 02 Jan 2014
As always a pleasure to read your stuff. A little clarification lenchenelf, is this spelling intentional?
"terratorial (territorial) seizure,"
It works well either way.
Congratulations on the cherries to by the way.Read full comment
Posted in Companion planting
Hello Tina. Not easy to
Posted on Wed, 01 Jan 2014
Hello Tina. Not easy to comment on a poem of this depth. I was going to play it safe and stick to praising its technicalities but sod it.
This is an immensely affecting piece of poetry and your ability to put these together without ...Read full comment
Posted in Six Years On...
Hi Amy and welcome to
Posted on Sat, 28 Dec 2013
Hi Amy and welcome to ABCtales. This seems genuine and heartfelt, it has a simplicity about it too which I like. Just a couple of points if I may?
"Walking down that eisle (aisle) ina (in a) white dress with my fathers (Father's) arm...Read full comment
Posted in Shop Window
Well done Skyler. I'm not a
Posted on Fri, 27 Dec 2013
Well done Skyler. I'm not a fan of fan-fiction but you managed to write a piece that has a lot going for it. The dramatic tension of being an 'outsider' having to conform to a hostile world is one of the stronger aspects of the piece. A few...Read full comment
Posted in Arcane Chapter 1