Bastards

A jammy dodger came to power He dazzled us with twinkling eyes And only when the milk turned sour Did we uncover all his lies But how did the dodger get the vote?

An illicit bang with Barry On his spotless kitchen floor His powerful Squirt Zero dirt What lady could want more? I've been watching you Barry Scott I know where you live

Try to read this like a rap - If you can!

There is a place in Ireland, Where it's said they can polish a turd. With rags and Vim; On spits they spin; With nosepegs on, The ladies smooth; With deftful fingers, And lightening moves,

'Calm down dear, it's only a scotch egg!'