I have to give a speech on the occasion of my sister's 50th birthday party this weekend - and after failing to come up with something sutiably amusing I decided to re-write Gilbert and Sullivan's Modern Major General so that it would fit in with her.

It was good fun and, I think, worked out quite well.

So how about re-writing the first verse and a bit for another ABCtaler. Be kind!

Here's the original lyrics for you to work from:

I loved this, atmospheric and wonderfully light touch. I was going to make the usual, wearying English-teacher-from-hell comments about paragraphs aiding readability, but then I checked out your site - 155 stories and apparently not a single paragraph. It didn't seem to matter after a while - the stories are short, eposidic and the collection cohesive and poignant and distinct...

I thought this was wonderful. The rythm is great, although you may want to break into verses for greater readibility. Great ending.

http://www.abctales.com/story/ancl/the-quiet-child

Soraia

My friend Christopher has just given the gift of shoe trees. I have put them in my brogues. How come I have lived to the age of forty one without such wonderful things?

Do you have any shoe tree related stories? Have they benefited you and your daily walking life?

If you are a shoe tree user, I would be very keen to hear from you. If you are not, take my advice and put a pair on your Christmas wish list.

I do hope that this will become a powerful movement in a short space of time. A step in the right direction for sensible shoe care.

I really liked this - faces like upturned satellite dishes - and your earlier one about smoking. You have a great take on subjects like this. Sorry - its difficult not to sound trite in one line comments - but you know what I mean.

Well done the lads...shoved it up em we did!!!!

ENGGGGGGGGGERLAND ENGGGGGGGGERLANDENGGGGGGGGERLAND!!!!

Just walking up Camden High St. when I heard a siren coming up behind me. No probs I just assumed it was another police car racing to arrest someone for protesting about New Labour and its leader. But what zoomed past was something out of CSI Miami. It was a jet black Humvee with blue lights flashing and DTM in brushed metal in bold letters on the side. Who? Why? What? Kinda scary.

Well, not exactly, but there are more similarities that I would like. I just finished Tom Wolfe's latest novel about the students at (the fictional) Dupont University, presumably based upon Duke University, and it is a fabulous work. I can see how it would not appeal to a lot of people, but it really brought back a lot of largely painful memories from my time in college. It was a very different place and time, but the basic issues of growing up and finding one's place in the world are timeless.

Bacon legs by onlywords. http://www.abctales.com/node/546002

I'm not sure what it was that attracted me to this - it certainly wasn't the layout - but I found it kept me reading :O)
There was something raw yet real that had a TV script feel to it.
I think it would be greatly improved by an edit - to sort out the spacing - but I felt it was well worth the effort to ignore the layout.