Leggings - Another Day. News: 1. that someone stole their stuff a couple of nights ago and warehoused it. No idea who or where mind you. One of the torturers claimed it was Lord Sanesbury.... who knows? Good to hear of a Knight in action. 2. That one of the men from the start of the game decided to ask me to marry him. I refused. Now there is a clamor from the torture gang as several of them got down on their k- nees before him early on in tha...

Damn and Hell. I was all set to compete in the Teignmouth Poetry Slam tonight. Looking at the settling flurries outside my window I don't think a single contestant is going to be there. We all live at least 10 miles away, some as far as Bristol and Dartmoor. The contest starts at 8pm, railways, roads, none of its going to be workable. Oh well I've got my act prepared for...whenever.

My understanding is that Swan Paddle Boating will be an event at the next Olympics. My wife and I harbour a dream to represent our nation in the mixed doubles at this event. Unfortunately, we suffered a setback during our first training session, when we couldn't get both our bums in the boat at the same time. We are determined though and are now on the lookout for a swan paddle boat with a broader berth. We aim to feature on the rostrum. Watch...

It's been a great week for prose with Blighter's Rock's compelling adventures in Italy: https://www.abctales.com/story/blighters-rock/church-lost-souls-7 - which I hope will continue. Story of the week goes to a tale in three parts, exploring that path we all travel, Noo's Sleep Diary is full of rich imagery and is a great weekend read: https://www.abctales.com/story/noo/sleep-diary-part-3 There has been lots of wonderful and original poetry too...

This is confidential information for royal watchers of Norwich by the way. I ought to get paid for this blog!

The photo is of Jacob (almost 4) and James (just turned 2) in Warley Woods. Not sure which one is Pooh Bear. Jacob is the youngest child of my daughter, Karen. James is the youngest child of my daughter, Claire. Mrs. Treaclechops and I normally look after them on Fridays. It helps their parents keep childcare costs down… as well as keeping us young(ish) and fit(ish). Warley Woods is on the western edge of Birmingham. The lads were very wary...

I don’t know Maggy van Eijk, but I’ve read her poetry on ABCtales. It’s memorable because it’s amazing. But don’t ask me to tell you the names of any of her poems. Often I can’t remember my own name. What stands out is her loopy ability to juxtapose two images that makes sense. I’d like to give you an example, but I can’t be arsed looking. I had her down at one of those exotic younger women that had pretty much everything and jam on top. ‘...

Usually, I know what I’m going to say, although I’m not quite sure how I’m going to say it. I guess I’ll start with the author, George Saunders. He’s won a stack of awards and a litany of writers—Jonathan Franzen, Zadie Smith, Thomas Pynchon, Jennifer Egan, Junot Diaz, Lorrie Moore, Hairi Kunzru and Tobias Wolff—are stacked like library cards to testify to his originality and brilliance. I find Saunders hard work. And I don’t like reading to be...

Leggings – two stories and a moment of light. Sometimes the Ninnies who tell the stories to me and at me – during moments o f lucidity – in between their crimes – are extremely odd. Some blame it on old priests who lost their faith entirely due to their trading on the soul market. On their aptitude to zone in on people in this weird way. Others cite the 'mind readers' as the Spanish seaside traders who after generations of loss of job in the...

Once a month, usually on the first or second Saturday, I depart the ancestral battlements and make the twenty-five minute train journey to Malton, perhaps the epitome of a North Yorkshire market town. From September to July it’s a quiet journey, with plenty of seats available. From July to September it’s the sardine express, because the eventual destination is Scarborough. There are still many people who choose not to drive to the seaside, and...