I'm the sheriff and my name is Rosco P. Coltrane. People in Hazzard know that the P is for pea-brain. I work for Commissioner Jefferson Davis Hogg. He hates the Dukes and he also hates my dog.
A giant black hole has appeared and the Earth will be devoured. Everybody will be dead in just a matter of hours. We'd better pray to the Lord and ask him to forgive us for our sins.
People think that I'm a horse because of my ugly horse face. When I go to the track, everybody thinks that I'm there to race. I look so much like a horse that people put a feed bag on my head.
I own a beauty parlor but I always get things wrong. Last week I left a lady under the dryer far too long. She was under the dryer for hours and it fried her brain.
I'm Boss Hogg and Rosco keeps trying to eat my food. It's been my dream to see Daisy Duke in the nude. The Duke boys keep fighting me because I'm a crook.
