blackjack-davey

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I have 33 stories published in 0 collections on the site.
My stories have been read 70973 times and 59 of my stories have been cherry picked.
53 of my 342 comments have been voted Great Feedback with a total of 60 votes

My stories

Cherry

The Bamboo Forest Part 2

Once inside the fortress, Simon felt calmer but the acid confused him. Serge’s constant squeezes and froggy murmurs made him nervous but he no longer...
Gold cherry

The Bamboo Forest Part 1

The holiday was a last ditch attempt at emotional salvage. Two bodies, who’d once abandoned themselves to each other now simply abandoned each other...

Sock it to Me

One of those domestic miracles you do a wash and all those odd socks that have been knocking around for ages all find their partners after years of...
2 likes
Gold cherry

Goulash

The van arrived at night, a dusty white transit with the exhaust held on by string and gaffer tape—announced its arrival with a bad tempered gasp of...
Gold cherry

Sugar Poetry Monthly

At midday the women sit there opposite each other on the red banquette with punched in buttons and sirloin red bolsters, gathered up in scarves and...

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53 of my comments have received 60 Great Feedback votes

1 Vote

great idea, pasta facists and

Posted on Mon, 25 Jan 2016

great idea, pasta facists and also clear instructions how to get it right

can the relationship survive such sloppy linguine?

I'm a prawn cocktail facist

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Posted in Pasta Fascist

1 Vote

typo in third stanza regnancy

Posted on Wed, 20 Jan 2016

typo in third stanza regnancy should be regency?

got great metrical fluidity but sometimes I think the need to rhyme (and I think of early dylan) can tangle meaning but that's only my opinion

'ere ever reaching puberty'... this is...

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Posted in Now and Then and Now Again...

1 Vote

Thanks for the feedback... I

Posted on Mon, 18 Jan 2016

Thanks for the feedback... I was pretty much abandoning this  but your encouraging words make me think again-- I am  toying with changing it from third to first person and maybe aiming for the YA market, the only way I can disguise my own...

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Posted in Highly Strung

1 Vote

interesting snapshot but I

Posted on Mon, 18 Jan 2016

interesting snapshot but I would remove quite a few of the adjectives and descriptive phrases. The verbs are al active and exciting but if you look at the italicized examples below some words do the same thing

 

"His gaze falls to...

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Posted in Blue tarpaulin

1 Vote

 

Posted on Wed, 16 Dec 2015

'the bounce of spring...' just what the depressive hates. This comes from a strange, still zone and has a clear fabular quality. Intrigued about what the snowflake represents and how you might develop the drama-- I like the stillness of the piece...

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Posted in The Snowflake Collector – 8: It Was, in Every Imaginable Sense, a Disaster

1 Vote

great insight into mother son

Posted on Mon, 14 Dec 2015

great insight into mother son relationship, subtly done and the mum without bitterness... initially it might be a poem to a lover

son conveyed well with his monster appetities and perhaps a genetic predisposition for being on his own-- are...

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Posted in One Man and his Dog

1 Vote

life is led in the little

Posted on Mon, 07 Dec 2015

life is led in the little asides-- the pauses that we don't have time to take

I can imagine this car journey at night through all the ancient cathedrals, Brou, Chartres and the epiphany it is only bearable in brief flashes

the heart...

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Posted in Guarding

1 Vote

what  a snapshot!

Posted on Sat, 21 Nov 2015

what  a snapshot!

the gropers officially tolerated, Charlie, what about rope soap? my aunt used to wear about fifteen in the bath for extra buoyancy

the sense of drizzle, wet earth and estuaries, feels like there should be a body in...

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Posted in Light in the Dark Age

1 Vote

gripping and concise, got

Posted on Wed, 11 Nov 2015

gripping and concise, got mixed muddled sympathies... i like the jump in time between the shut door and the door years later where she is still living/ hiding/ boozing behind

 

voddies melting days into weeks, alcoholic time travel...

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Posted in oot ma heed.

1 Vote

Welcome to ABC tales, Tiny...

Posted on Wed, 28 Oct 2015

Welcome to ABC tales, Tiny... this has plenty of menace... an abrupt swerve from delusion to reality. Looks like a lot of horror fans and ghouls are assembling for All Hallows Eve

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Posted in A Hallowed Evening

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