I have 7 stories published in
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My stories have been read 3376 times
and 11 of my stories have been cherry picked. 321 of my 3,326 comments have been voted Great Feedback with a total of 326 votes
321 of my comments have received 326 Great Feedback votes
1 Vote
Wonderful use of a very
Posted on Fri, 13 Nov 2015
Wonderful use of a very fitting analogy. I hope all's well in your silvery world.
Hi cassie, it's nostalgic and very candid. A thoughtful response to the brief. I would consider taking 'meandering' out as bit cliched and 'had' on line 3 could go for smoother ride.
I think the narrative stream works as a child's distraction very well. I think you could take the double 'no no' 'yes yes' out and have singulars without it affecting structure. More natural. I'd be inclined to take more out - make your reader...
This is really sweet. I feel the ending needs more welly... that last line feels it should be a crescendo ending rather than a fine one but that may be my impression.
I really like how this condenses so much and doesn't lose depth in the economy. The narrative voice has the hindsight of maturity in it - and gets more cynical towards sister as you go.
Wonderful use of a very
Posted on Fri, 13 Nov 2015
Wonderful use of a very fitting analogy. I hope all's well in your silvery world.
Read full commentPosted in Joyride
Hi cassis, it's nostalgic and
Posted on Sun, 18 Oct 2015
Hi cassie, it's nostalgic and very candid. A thoughtful response to the brief. I would consider taking 'meandering' out as bit cliched and 'had' on line 3 could go for smoother ride.
Read full commentPosted in End of the road (Poetry Monthly)
I think the narrative stream
Posted on Fri, 16 Oct 2015
I think the narrative stream works as a child's distraction very well. I think you could take the double 'no no' 'yes yes' out and have singulars without it affecting structure. More natural. I'd be inclined to take more out - make your reader...
Read full commentPosted in In ver ness (Poetry Monthly)
What a super piece. Dark and
Posted on Tue, 27 Oct 2015
What a super piece. Dark and light.
Read full commentPosted in Some days begin with a swim
This is really sweet. I feel
Posted on Wed, 21 Oct 2015
This is really sweet. I feel the ending needs more welly... that last line feels it should be a crescendo ending rather than a fine one but that may be my impression.
Read full commentPosted in discord to harmony (revised)
I really like how this
Posted on Tue, 20 Oct 2015
I really like how this condenses so much and doesn't lose depth in the economy. The narrative voice has the hindsight of maturity in it - and gets more cynical towards sister as you go.
Read full commentPosted in 'Go Now'
Mythical and gorgeous
Posted on Sun, 18 Oct 2015
Mythical and gorgeous escapism
Read full commentPosted in Oyster Bay
Deeply moving. It must have
Posted on Thu, 08 Oct 2015
Deeply moving. It must have been painful to write. The time - a true gift - and ways it will be spent precious.Beautifully conveyed.
Read full commentPosted in “The joy of an Indian summer*”
A Russian Doll journey within
Posted on Wed, 07 Oct 2015
A Russian Doll journey within a journey. Told with such love and bold colour.
Read full commentPosted in Stepping Stones (Poetry Monthly)
Some interesting descriptions
Posted on Tue, 06 Oct 2015
Some interesting descriptions. The formal language is distancing though - seems some grammatical errors in the translation.
Read full commentPosted in Fun Filled Days (Revised)
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